Jaded
by TheRavynFire
Summary: Sequel to One Night Stand. Bucky and Jades story continues as they try to maintain a relationship when the past comes back to haunt them. Bucky/OFC (I suck at summaries)
1. Prologue: Amends

A/N: So Im back. Bucky and Jades story continues. Heres some fluff and a little angst and some smut.

* * *

Two weeks felt like an eternity to Jade. The seconds ticked by like hours, the hours went by like days, and the days went by like weeks. She was happy to distract herself with work, picking up extra shifts on her days off, dodging questions about why she wanted to work so much and just where she had gotten the bruises on her neck. Work went by quickly, that was no problem, it was when she got off work or had a day off where she couldn't pick up a shift, and she was left to spend the day in her apartment, hiding in her room from Iris that were the worst. It was when she was alone that time moved too slowly, where she was plagued with thoughts of _him_ and everything that had gone wrong.

Lying had always been a deal breaker for her, her parents ingraining in her from a young age, using their own marriage as an example, that honesty and trust were the key ingredients to a strong foundation in ones relationships. And after dealing with and, to her own fault and stupidity, ignoring Patrick's lies in their 5 year long relationship, had made her even more wary of dishonesty. Promising herself that she would never again allow dishonesty, no matter how small, in her relationships. She didn't want to be fooled again, to let someone else's lies make her lie to herself as she had with Patrick when she ignored all the signs of his infidelity. She had to stand by her own principles, another thing ingrained in her by her parents.

Iris did not share her principles though and in true Iris fashion had no problem telling Jade that she was being an idiot.

"Will you just talk to the man please?" Iris begged as they sat on their couch in their living room. Both having the day off so they were free to binge Netflix and snacks and have girl talk. Jade had been hoping that the conversation would steer clear of Bucky, but it hadn't of course. "I'm tired of your moping so just call him. Only one of us should be going through the break up ritual at a time."

Iris had ended things with Brandon, _again._ Jade had come home to the sounds of yelling and arguing, finding them in a screaming match in the living room. She had quietly gone to her room, having zero desire to get between them and woke up to find Brandon and all of his things gone. She hadn't questioned it and Iris hadn't elaborated on _why_ it had ended, but this was a cycle for them and nothing new. But still Iris reserved the right for full break up ritual benefits, no matter how frequent or short their relationship was.

"I'm not moping!" Jade replied. "I'm perfectly fine."

Iris regarded her incredulously. "Oh please. I know you're still crying sometimes and the ice cream has been disappearing at an alarming rate. Plus I heard you blaring Keyshia Cole last night."

Jade frowned feeling personally attacked, and while those things were true, she didn't like being told blatantly to her face. "Can you stop stalking my life?"

"Just give him another chance. After everything you guys went through-."

Jade groaned loudly, glaring at her. "He lied."

"So what?" Iris shrugged. "Everybody lies at some point and he was doing it just to make sure you guys had the perfect first date you both needed after everything. Whose to say that he didn't plan to tell you after the date? Or eventually? I'm sure he did and if that's the case he didn't lie, he just withheld information."

"No, he _lied._ And it was a lie that ended up putting me in danger-."

"Do you think James would ever hurt you intentionally?" Iris cut in with a tilt of her head.

Jade hesitated. "Well….not intentionally, no."

"And do you think that he would ever _want_ to hurt you?" Iris continued.

"No, he's done nothing, but protect and worry about me from the start." Which was true, it was why he had ghosted her after he had taken her out to eat. He had been worried about her and what Hydra would do to her.

"Then realize the man made a mistake, an idiotic one, but a mistake with good intentions. And when he attacked you? That wasn't him, it was the PTSD nightmare induced by him going to get himself hypnotized. He subjected himself to remembering all the shit he's ever been through, which from what you've told me is _a lot,_ just so that he could remember _you._ I mean if that's not romantic then I don't know what is is. Now. Call. Him."

Jade took a deep breath, staring daggers at her friend who was annoyingly making sense. She had a point, but Jade had principles.

"It's the principle of the matter-."

"Oh fuck your principles," Iris scoffed. "You're in love with the guy and you're going to let this extremely insignificant thing, in comparison to everything else you both have been through together, tear you apart."

Jade continued to frown at her. "Can we just watch the movie please?"

Iris rolled her eyes, but thankfully said nothing else, starting the movie they spent 20 minutes to agree on to watch. Soon the conversation was friendly and about other things besides Bucky, but that didn't stop him from haunting her thoughts, Iris' words playing on repeat making her wonder if her principles were causing her to make a mistake.

 _You're in love with the guy._

Those words stood out the most. They had startled her, hitting her like a battering ram because it was something that Jade hadn't admitted to herself yet. She had feelings for Bucky, strong ones, but she hadn't categorized them as love. She didn't feel prepared to. But the more the words ran through her head she was beginning to think that she didn't have a choice. She had to admit that he made her feel things she had never felt before. That he had taken a piece of her that she would never get back and despite being hurt and angry she wasn't sure that she wanted it back. She wasn't sure if she still never wanted to see him again.

Hours later, after she had excused herself to bed leaving Iris in the living room and changed into her pajamas, she lay in bed still thinking about Iris' words and everything that she and Bucky had been through. It started eating away at her to the point that she couldn't sleep or ignore it anymore.

Rising from the bed she pulled on a jacket and tennis shoes and pulled her curls up into a bun before going out into the cold New York City air. Hailing a cab was easy at the late hour and with no traffic the ride was short. She checked in with security and went for the elevator, using the clearance given to her by Steve Rogers long ago to get up to the living quarters.

The floor was quiet and darkened, but given that it was nearly midnight that didn't surprise her much. She took a deep breath, stepping off the elevator easily remembering which door belonged to him and walking to it. She raised her hand to knock, hesitating once more before knocking softly three times.

She heard muffled noises on the other side, the sound of soft footsteps and the turning of the door knob. Her heart started to race as she watched it turn and the door opened slowly to reveal Bucky.

He was shirtless, clad in dark grey sweatpants, his hair tousled and hanging around his face, his stubble having grown since she saw him two weeks ago. He was rubbing one eye sleepily, barely looking awake until he realized who was on the other side of his door and his hand dropped as well as his face, his eyes widening.

"Jade?"

* * *

Bucky had wanted to spend the two weeks since Jade had walked out on him in his room "wallowing" as Steve had aptly put it. He had no desire to eat or shower or train, but Steve wasn't allowing it. He came barging into Bucky's room every day forcing him into the bathroom to shower and dragging him to the kitchen to eat and take his medication and then down to the gym to train and then off to therapy with Dr. Lewis on the designated days of his appointment. It was only after that would Steve let him go back to his room, but he'd come in hours later to make sure Bucky ate dinner and took his medication again before bed. And Bucky found it entirely annoying.

"She just needs time, Bucky. She will come around." Steve would say about Jade when he was trying to keep him busy, to keep him from wallowing in his solitude.

Bucky knew that Steve was still talking to Jade, that they continued their regular text correspondence that they started while he was in Wakanda, as well as their weekly lunches after Jades therapy. It was because of that, that he tried to find any part of him that believed Steve when he said it. He hoped that she would come around, that she would look at him the way she used to, that he would get to hold her again. But a larger part of him felt like it was the end of something that would have been good, that he had _needed._ And it was his fault. He had fucked it all up.

"We're going on a mission."

Steve's voice broke the silence of Bucky's bedroom and shattered the blissful unconsciousness he was drifting in. Pulling away the pillow that covered his face he glanced at the clock on his bedside and saw that it had been two hours since he had trudged from the training room, after a particularly rigorous session with Steve and Natasha, showered and fell face first into his bed for a nap. He looked at Steve next finding him in his stealth suit, his vibranium shield attached to his back.

"Pass," Bucky grumbled putting the pillow over his face again.

"You cannot stay here in your room wallowing forever, Bucky," Steve answered.

"I don't want to go on the mission. I'll sit this one out. I have a therapy session tomorrow anyway."

"Great you can tell Dr. Lewis all about the mission," Steve said. He heard the sounds of him walking around the bed and suddenly the pillow was lifted from his face. Bucky glared. "It will be a quick in and out. It's an easy one."

Bucky snatched the pillow from Steve's hands and replaced it back on his face. "You don't need me then. I'm sure Captain America can handle it."

Steve exhaled, long and loud. "Bucky-."

"I'm not going."

Steve's face set in a stern frown. "Look-."

Bucky moved the pillow again. "No, I let you come in here and drag me out of bed each day-."

Steve huffed. " _Let me?_ "

Bucky sat up, ignoring Steves comment and continuing. "And I let you force feed me food and my pills and to shower and train and whatever else you deem fit to keep me out of my fucking grief, but I'm drawing the line here."

"Grief? Drawing the line?" Steve sputtered shaking his head. "Oh Bucky, come on-."

"I said I'm not going. Just leave me the hell alone."

"Bucky-," Steve attempted to start again.

"I said no. Now get your stubborn ass out of here."

Steve's lips formed a hard line and Bucky thought that for a moment he'd argue again. Instead he relented and turned for the door.

"I'll be back by tomorrow afternoon. And you'd better be showered and fed and medicated when I get back," Steve said. He was using his Captain voice. It was also a threat. Bucky rolled his eyes.

As annoyed as he was, Bucky was still aware of his friend leaving on a mission and would always be concerned. Steve may not have been that small sickly kid from Brooklyn anymore, but sometimes when he looked at him that's the version of Steve he saw.

"Be careful, Punk," he called when Steve opened the door noticing Steve's smirk.

"Always...And while I'm gone try giving Jade a call," Steve said after a moment of hesitation, looking at him over his shoulder.

Bucky sighed. "You never give up do you?"

"Call her and tell her you're sorry again. If you care about her, which I know you do, you won't give her up without a fight," Steve gave him a pointed look. "Besides that I'm tired of seeing you mope around so you better do something."

He stepped through the door before Bucky could say another word, leaving him to ponder what he had said. He pondered it hard, actually picking up his cellphone and pulling up her contact information, staring at the seven digits, his finger poised over the call button. He wanted to call, he wanted to hear her voice again more than anything, but he couldn't stop thinking about the look in her eyes that last night he saw her, or about how much he knew he had hurt her, and that annoying voice inside of him, the one that constantly made him doubt himself, told him that this was for the best. He never should have had her in the first place, not with the way his life was, not with Hydra constantly on his tail and not with how much damage he had already caused in her life just from one night stand. She was better off without him, he was damaged and she wasn't and she deserved better.

He tossed the phone aside and laid back down, putting the pillow back over his face.

The three knocks at the door woke him, even though they were barely audible, hesitant sounding and soft, his enhanced hearing caught it and his eyes blinked open. He rolled out of bed, wondering just who the hell it could be when he knew everyone was gone on the mission. The last person he expected it to be was Jade.

He blinked a few times, wondering if he was dreaming, if he was imagining her standing there in her pajamas and her coat and her wild curls pulled up in an unkempt bun. She still was beautiful as ever, his eyes roaming her and soaking her in after not seeing her for two weeks. She wrung her hands nervously in front of her, her eyes filled with hesitance and as much as he hated to admit it to himself, some fear. He could see the now faint and fading markings of the bruises on her neck, the ones left by his hand, it made the knot that had been sitting in his stomach since she had left twist tighter. At the same time his heart swelled to see her again, he tried to fight the hope that filled him at her presence. For all he knew she was here to tell him that she never wanted to see him again, to officially end what she had started when she had walked out. But he couldn't, it filled him fast and to the brim and made his heart beat faster, his hands tingled with the desire to hold her and he almost reached out to grab her. He gripped the door knob tighter instead.

"Jade?"

Her lips parted, her brow knitting in uncertainty. No words came from her lips though, she just stood there her brown eyes searching face. He was about to ask her if she was alright when she stepped toward him, pressing herself right into him, her arms wrapping around his neck to pull him down and allow their lips to meet.

He tensed in surprise for only a second before he was pulling her tighter to him, his arms encircling her. She melted, her tense body softening against his, kissing him hungrily, her hand sliding up into his hair. He lifted her at the waist, stepping back into the room and slammed the door closed, pressing her to the door and pinning her against it with his body.

He wasn't sure what had happened to bring her to him, if someone had said something or if she had just changed her mind, but he didn't plan on questioning it. Not when she was in his arms, kissing him with so much passion, and clinging to him with so much desperation. He could question it later, after. But still the words he had been holding in and wanting to say, spilled from his lips between kisses.

"I missed you," he grunted trailing kisses down her throat as he pushed her jacket from her shoulders and let it fall to the floor. She kicked off her shoes. "God I missed you so much, Sugar."

She pulled her shirt over her head, revealing bare flushed skin, and pulled him to her again. His mouth explored the expanse of her chest, calloused hands taking hold of her breasts bringing them together and bending to take a peaked nipple into his mouth.

"And I missed you." Her reply came out a breathless sigh, her head falling back against the door.

He kissed her again in a frenzy, his flesh hand slipping into her pajama bottoms to seek her warmth. He groaned when he found her dripping and slick with her own desire, spreading her lips before pushing two fingers into her heat. He only was able to push and pull his fingers twice before she was grabbing his wrist and pulling his hand from her pants.

"James...please," she begged impatiently. "I need you."

Her words sent fire right through him. In swift motions, and with more grace than he knew he had, he pulled her pajama bottoms off her body and lifted her against the door. Her legs wrapped around his waist, her hands steadying herself on his shoulders. He could have easily taken her to the bed or even the floor, but he had a sense of urgency and felt he couldn't wait. He craved her warmth and wasn't moving anywhere until he got it. He balanced her with one arm tucked under her ass and pushed his sweats down, kicking them off to free himself.

His metal arm braced against the door for leverage, he blindly maneuvered her until he found her entrance and pushed upward into her with one hard thrust. She cried out loudly, tensing around him, her nails digging into his shoulder. He froze once he bottomed out, forcing himself to allow her time to adjust and taking opportunity of those brief moments of stillness to look her in the eye.

"I'm sorry," he breathed in a whisper. "I never meant to hurt you. I shouldn't have lied-."

She silenced him with a kiss, taking his face into her hands and crashing her mouth on his. She kissed him hard, all teeth and tongue, before rolling her hips on his length to show him she was ready, which had them both moaning loudly. Bucky quickly forgot about his attempts to apologize, to reconcile what happened between them, to make amends, and instead focused his energies on getting her to orgasm. He pushed her back into the door and chose a quick pace, thrusting upward hard and fast, leaving her gasping and cursing. He tried to be mindful of the fact that he could be hurting her, but if her moans and praises were any indication, she was enjoying it.

"Fuck James...right there. Right there. Don't stop," she chanted in a pleading whisper.

He had no intention too, increasing his efforts to the point that her back was bumping into the door with each thrusts, a soft echoing thud sounding each time, reminding him again to be thankful that everyone was gone. Three more hard thrusts and she was calling his name loudly, her back arching off the door and her body tightening around him like a vice. Bucky groaned, feeling her gush around him with her orgasm, pulling him along right after her. He gripped her tighter and thrust upward until he could go no more when pure pleasure ripped through him and he spilled himself into her. He barely managed to stand, slumping forward, his head resting against her chest as hers fell to his shoulder. Their heavy breaths mingled, the only sound in the silence of his room.

"W-Was that okay?" He broke the silence, not lifting his head from her chest, worried that he had been too rough.

She nodded wordlessly, keeping her head on his shoulder.

"You okay?" He questioned further.

Again she nodded wordlessly and made not motion to move.

Without a word he turned for the bathroom, carrying her with him as she tried to recover, turning on the shower. She clung to him until he went into the shower and he set her carefully on her feet. He stepped into the spray, pulling her along so the water fell over their heads, holding her close to the warmth of his skin.

"I've missed you so much," his voice soft and muffled against her temple. He knew he was repeating himself but it needed repeating because it was true. He was a bit worried that this was just sex, that she had showed up with a need that he was the only one able to fill for lack of a better option. Even if he was he didn't think he could be angry at her. But he was going to take advantage of the opportunity to fight for her just as Steve had said. "I never should have lied. I should have told you the truth, I just-."

She pulled her head back, put a hand over his lips, stopping him again. "I know why you did it. I get it," she said with a nod. "And if you couldn't tell already, I forgive you."

Relief flooded him, a smile gracing his face for the first time in weeks. He didn't know what he had ever done to deserve her, but he was just glad that she had come back.

"But promise me something," she said, her tone and expression serious, taking his face into her hands.

"Anything," Bucky replied, meaning the word more than he had meant anything in a long while.

" _Never_ lie to me again," the words came with purpose from her lips, like a warning and a plea all at once. "If we're going to do this we have to have honesty and trust. Even if you think I'll be mad, even if it will hurt me, tell me the truth."

He nodded in agreement, feeling willing to agree to any demand she made. "I won't. I promise."

"And in the spirit of honesty I have to tell you something," she said softly looking up at him with those penetrating brown eyes.

Bucky hesitated, worried that it was bad news she would share, bracing himself for anything. "What is it, Sugar?"

She took a deep breath and put her hands on his chest. "I think I'm falling in love with you, James."

He blinked at her, those being the last words he expected to come from her lips. Still the words made him feel warm, like butterflies were dancing around in his gut and he smiled again before drawing her in and holding her.

"Think I'm falling in love with you too, Sugar."

* * *

Bucky was insatiable, seeming to want to make up for the two weeks that he had been away from her by making love to her over and over, starting in the shower and then in his bed after they had washed and dried themselves. Jade was more than willing to accept, taking all the pleasure he wanted to give throughout the night, sleeping in his arms when she could, only to be awoken again sometime in the night and early morning for more.

She awoke the next day after a good stretch of sleep, finding that it was nearly 1:00pm when her eyes blinked open and she saw the clock. She looked over her shoulder finding Bucky fast asleep behind her, on his back, one hand on her hip and the other on his chest looking peaceful. She couldn't stop the smile that spread over her face, wanting to snuggle into him and spend the day with him in bed, but the call of the restroom was too much to ignore.

She slid carefully out of bed, trying not to disturb him and used the restroom, coming back to bed and joining him once more. He awoke when she was getting settled under the covers, blinking at her with a sleepy smile on his face pulling her close.

"I was worried you were going to sneak out again," he joked pressing kisses to her shoulder.

"Well I actually woke up knowing who you are so I didn't feel a need to run."

Bucky chuckled into her hair, sitting up to roll her to her back and place himself over her between her legs. "Good. Because I don't plan to let you out of this room for a long time."

She was going to have to get used to his stamina, learning quickly last night that his recovery time was barely 10 minutes. She arched into him when he started kissing her chest and his hand slipped between them to gently stroke her lips.

"You have to feed me at some point, James," she sighed when he pressed two fingers into her.

"I'll order in."

He kissed her, withdrawing his fingers to replace it with his hard shaft, pushing into her with painful slowness that had her whimpering. She sighed as he kissed the fading marks he had left on her throat, each kiss another apology, keeping his strokes slow and deep. The pleasure was already building rapidly, the orgasm brewing quickly ready to explode again, she had already lost track of how many times he had brought her to that edge over the course of the night.

"Bucky, you better have taken your medi-."

She couldn't stop the scream that escaped her lips at the voice, looking to find a shocked Steve Rogers standing in the doorway to Bucky's room, Thor and Sam standing right behind him. They hadn't even heard the door open. Thankfully they were beneath the sheet which covered her lower half, but her she had to cross her arms over her chest to hide her breasts. Bucky tried to use his body to shield hers, turning a glare on Steve who was still too shocked to move or speak, though Sam and Thor were smiling widely behind him. Jade felt herself turning red with embarrassment.

"Jesus, Steve, can you knock?!" Bucky barked.

Steve blinked, but still didn't move.

"Lady Jade!" Thor boomed behind Steve excitedly. "So good to see that you and Sergeant Barnes have made up."

Jade couldn't bring herself to respond. She was too busy thinking of how she could disappear into the bed and die from embarrassment.

"Looks like they're right in the middle of making up," Sam quipped with a nod

"Would you get out of here!" Bucky yelled making Steve jump.

"Sorry," Steve stuttered, finally finding his voice. "I didn't- I thought-."

"Shut the door!" Bucky demanded.

Steve regained his ability to move and stepped backward almost bumping into Thor and Sam, shutting the door quickly. "Sorry!" Came his muffled yell again.

Bucky rolled his eyes, looking down at Jade to find her covering her face with her hands. "Are you alright?"

She nodded. "I'm never going to be able to show my face in this compound again."

Bucky chuckled, pulling her hands away from her face. "Please we've walked in on Thor doing worse."

Jade was honestly afraid to ask him to elaborate. "You need to start locking your door."

Bucky nodded in agreement before kissing her again.


	2. Three Months: The L Word

So the next four chapters are gonna be in three month increments with glimpses into Bucky and Jade's relationship, something I need to establish before we get into all the drama and angst.

* * *

Becoming Bucky's girlfriend didn't take an adjustment as Jade had expected. Their lives, while vastly different, somehow just blended seamlessly and soon it felt like there was never a time that they hadnt been together. They were quickly in the honeymoon phase, wanting to spend every waking moment together that they could, and even the moments when they werent awake. Jade found herself spending most nights at the compound with him, making sure the door was locked of course, though everyone knew better than to walk into Bucky's room without knocking. Bucky had been hesitant to let her spend the night with him at first, worried about the nightmares that he still sometimes had and the possibility of hurting her, but she reiterated just how much she trusted him and prepared herself for that possibility. They hadn't had any incidents yet, not with Bucky taking his medications as prescribed, Dr. Lewis finally having found the appropriate dose for a super soldier that Bucky's body's wouldnt burn through too quickly.

They didn't get to spend every moment together of course. He went on missions, sometimes for a week or more, and she missed him terribly. And she sometimes worked long shifts, having little energy to do anything else besides go straight home after work and fall face first into bed and that was when he missed her. She had thought that dating Bucky might be a challenge, that it would take work to get into a groove, but was so glad when she proved herself wrong.

Before she knew it three months had passed and Bucky was excitedly waking her up on the day of their anniversary, telling her that he had a whole day planned and forcing her to call in sick. Jade had thought it was silly, celebrating such a short amount of time of dating, and was honestly surprised that he had even remembered, but couldnt say no to Bucky's excitedly smiling face and called in to spend the day with him.

They enjoyed a breakfast with the rest of the Avengers before spending the day in the city visiting museums and sightseeing like they were a regular tourist couple who didn't actually live in the city. Sure she had been to all the museums he had taken her to and she had seen all the sights that he wanted to see, but she was just happy to see him happy. She gladly participated, listening to him tell her things about the war as they toured through WW2 exhibits, and talk about what Brooklyn had been like in his time as they walked through the city. They ate at his favorite pizza place for lunch and her favorite restaurant for dinner and soon the sun was setting on what Jade could easily call one of the best days of her life.

They were winding down the day with a walk through Brooklyn Bridge Park, his hand wrapped tightly around hers, fingers intertwined. She kept glancing up at his smiling face, unable to resist rebelling innhis happiness, addicted to his smile.

"Thank you for an amazing day, James," she said leaning her head against his shoulder as he smirked, releasing her hand to wrap an arm around her.

"You're welcome, Sugar," he pressed a kiss to her temple and squeezed her close. "Happy Anniversary."

She smiled, never having imagined Bucky being the sappy kind. Patrick had always been a closed off guy who didn't keep track of their anniversaries and couldn't have cared less about celebrating them. Underneath Bucky's gruff exterior was a big old softy and she loved it.

He lead her to the railing right by the river and stopped her. "I, uh, I got something for you," he said with a sheepish smile.

"Something like a gift?"

He nodded.

Jade gaped at him. "I didn't know we were exchanging gifts. I didn't get you anything."

He shook his head. "Don't worry about it. I don't need anything. You've given and continue to give me plenty, Sugar."

Her heart warmed and she blushed. "I still don't think it's fair."

"I said don't worry about it," he kissed her quickly before reaching into his pocket and pulling out a closed fist. "Close your eyes."

She did as she was told and felt him moving behind her, a metal hand pushing her curls aside. She felt something thin and cold touch her skin, tight around her throat and then fallling loosely to hang around her neck. She opened her eyes when he moved around her to the front, looking down to see that it was a necklace. It was a thin silvers chain and hanging at the end was a small cut out of a silver heart.

Her heart swelled with emotion as she reached up and touched the piece of metal, so much so that she felt like it would burst. She looked up at Bucky, wondering why her eyes were suddenly so watery and seeing him looking down at her nervously.

"James, it's beautiful," she breathed.

"It's not much, but I just wanted to get you something."

She scoffed at him. "Don't say that. It's plenty."

"You like it?" He arched an eyebrow.

She thought actions would answer better than words and jumped into his arms kissing him passionately. "I love it," she breathed into his lips when he pulled away.

He smiled, his blue eyes sparkling, reaching up to caress her cheek. "And I love you."

She froze in his arms, blinking up at him. They hadn't said those three words yet, the last time 'love' had been mentioned was three months ago when they were in the shower when she had showed up to forgive him. She didn't know why she was surprised to hear him say it because she _felt_ it, it practically oozed from him every time he looked at her, spoke to her, touched her. She knew the moment that he had said it, and should have known long before, that she was no longer falling, she was in full blown love with him.

She took hold of his face, looking deeply into his eyes which were filled with uncertainty, though he should have known by now how she felt too.

"I love you too."

She had never seen him smile so big and again his lips were finding hers and kissing her heatedly until she was breathless.

"Take me home," she demanded with a lusty look. " _Now."_

"Yes ma'am," Bucky chuckled.

They hurriedly found a cab and went back to Jades apartment not wanting to go to the compound where all the Avengers were currently home. Iris was supposed to be out meaning they'd have the apartment to themselves to be as loud as they liked. They made it to the building, rushing up the steps and to her door, Bucky allowing her to unlock it before he was on her.

They stumbled into the darkness of her apartment, kissing and pulling at each other's clothes, Bucky kicking the door shut behind them. Jade's back hit the wall as they stepped out of the foyer into the living room, accidentally hitting the light switch and turning on the lights. They broke apart when they heard a surprised gasp turning around to find a shirtless Steve sitting up from the couch.

Bucky and Jade both froze, blinking at the unexpected visitor. Steve looked just as shocked as he had when he had walked in on them three months ago, his face flush and his breathing heavy. His lower half was hidden by the back of the couch, but after Jade managed to tear her eyes away from the sight and do a quick sweep of the living room she saw his discarded jeans and knew immediately he was naked. That fact was even more evident when Iris popped up slowly as well, much lower, wiping her mouth with the back of her hand. Jade's face fell and Bucky huffed in surprise.

"Iris?" Jade gasped.

Iris smiled innocently. "Oh… hey guys…"

Steve nodded at them in greeting, he was red as a tomato. "Buck, Jade."

"When the hell did this start?" Bucky questioned with a smirk.

"Good question," Jade chimed in.

"Umm...we hadn't really started yet," Steve answered looking down and then back up at them.

"Oh my god," Jade sighed putting her face in her hand.

"I thought you were spending the night at the compound," Iris replied avoiding the question.

"I thought you were out so we came back here to be alone! Also what the hell?" Jade demanded motioning to them.

Iris and Steve shared a guilty glance and there was a very awkward silence that followed.

"Okay, you know what? We'll uh… be in Jade's room," Bucky said putting a hand on the small of Jade's back and beginning to push her down the hall. "Carry on."

"I still have questions! Lots of questions!" Jade called over her shoulder.

Halfway down the hall Bucky picked her up and threw her over his shoulder fireman style carrying her the rest of the way. He shut and locked the door behind them before dropping her onto the bed and crawling over her. He pulled his jacket from his shoulders before he was kissing her again, clearly determined to not let this new development interrupt their night and not phased by it at all. Jade, on the other hand, was still processing.

"James?" Jade whispered when Bucky's mouth traveled from her lips to her throat.

"Yeah?" He replied unbuttoning her pants.

"Am I crazy or did we just walk in on Iris giving Steve a blow job?"

Bucky paused in his mission to undress her, looking up at her as he laughed. "No, Sugar, you aren't crazy."

"Good, just checking," she chuckled grabbing him and pulling him to her.


	3. Six Months: The Parentals

"Stop staring."

"Stop being so beautiful."

"Okay now you're just being cheesy."

"Isn't that what boyfriends are supposed to do?"

Jade rolled her eyes at Bucky, but her beaming smile gave her away. She could tease him and roll her eyes all she liked, but he knew she liked it when he was cheesy and when he called himself her 'boyfriend' and when he stared at her. After six months of dating, he could bet money that he still made her heart sing and butterflies swarm in her stomach whenever he looked at her or smiled at her or complimented her. Sam has scoffed when he saw them together one day, stating that the novelty would soon disappear, that the honeymoon phase would end, it always did in relationships, but for now Bucky didn't give a damn. He'd soak up every second of it that he could. He couldn't remember a time when he was this happy.

They were sitting on a bench outside the children's hospital where she worked while she took her lunch break. They had not seen each other in four days, which had felt like an eternity to them, due to her work schedule and he to leave on a mission. He had returned that morning, making plans to see her after she got off, but felt he couldn't wait, deciding to surprise her with lunch and flowers at work. Her coworkers had oohed and awed her loud and mockingly, making her blush and flip them off.

Jade finished the last bite of her sandwich and wiped her mouth with a napkin, giving him an uneasy look that put him on high alert. "So I've been debating about whether to tell you this or not...but we promised each other honesty…"

Bucky's brow furrowed and a worried smile spread across his face. It was always these times, where that annoying voice who rarely showed it's imaginative face these days, reared its ugly head and made him think the worst. _It's been too good for too long, surely something is about to go wrong. You've fucked up again._ "Okay…? What's up, Sugar?"

"Well my parents are in town," she started slowly. "My dad had to come to the city for work and they called me to see if I could have dinner with them tonight."

"That's fine. We can see each other after if that's what you're worried about," Bucky shrugged.

Jade shifted on the bench, turning to face him. "The thing is...my parents would like for you to join us."

Bucky's face fell in surprise, his eyes widening a bit. "Oh."

Jade didnt keep much from her parents, Bucky knew that. He had been present for a few of her weekly phone calls to her mom, had heard his name casually mentioned usually after her being asked what she was doing or how her day went. But he wasn't sure just how much her parents knew about him, did she describe him as a friend? Did they know of their relationship? He had never asked her. But he knew that family was important to her, especially her parents, so if they wanted to meet him he would go.

"I'd love to meet your parents," he said after a moment of silence, surprising her. It was true. He would love to meet the two people responsible for her existence.

"You would?"

"Yes, and it's natural they want to meet me, I am dating their daughter after all... They do know we are dating right?"

She shook her head laughing. "Yes, they know we are dating."

"Okay then. When are we doing this?"

"Dinner is at 8:00."

"Then I better go prepare myself. I'll come over after you get off work?"

"Yes, but don't stress too much okay? My parents aren't that… parenty," she shrugged. "Just be you."

Bucky smiled and leaned in to kiss her. "I'm not worried, baby. I'll see you tonight."

That was the truth. He wasn't worried. He was happy, his medications were working and he considered himself a decent guy; he could handle meeting his girlfriend's parents. It wasn't until he arrived back at the compound and told Tony, Steve, Sam, and Natasha he'd be meeting Jade's parents, that their comments suddenly made him worry.

"Wow. So soon?" Sam said with an arched eyebrow.

Bucky huffed. "Soon? We have been dating for six months."

"I know, but meeting the parents means it's _serious_ ," Sam said crossing his arms over his chest. "Are you guys… you know… serious?"

Bucky glared at him. "We've been dating for _six months,_ Bird. Wouldn't you classify that as serious?"

Sam shrugged noncommittally. "I've had booty calls that lasted six months and they were not serious at all."

Bucky frowned at him.

"Do her parents know you almost killed her?" Tony questioned with raised eyebrows.

"Tony," Steve said simply as a warning, when Bucky's shoulders tensed and he turned his glare on Tony.

"What? I'm just asking I mean what exactly has she told them about you?" Tony said leaning against the couch.

Bucky hesitated. "I'm not sure."

"I'm sure Jade has only told her parents the good stuff about Bucky. She will want them to like him," Natasha said with a reassuring smile.

"It's gonna be fine, Bucky. Just be yourself," Steve said with a nod.

Tony was nodding in agreement. "Yeah, just be you. The 100 year old super soldier who is an ex brainwashed assassin who got their daughter kidnapped and then almost killed her in your sleep. They'll love you," his voice dropped with sarcasm and a sarcastic smile accompanied it.

"Tony! Knock it off," Steve snapped.

As much as Bucky hated to admit it, Tony was right. His harsh words, though meant as a joke as Tony usually spent any moment he was with Bucky taunting him, brought Bucky crashing right back into reality from the cloud nine he had been dwelling on for six months. He was so happy with Jade, her presence in his life bringing him so much joy and a sense of normalcy, it was easy to forget who he really was and what he had done and just how much danger he brought into her life and was to her.

"I gotta get ready," he grumbled rising from the couch and walking to his bedroom.

He heard footsteps behind him, he didn't need to turn around to know they were Steve's. "Bucky, everything is gonna be fine, like I said. Ignore Tony."

"As much as I love to and usually do, he's right. I am all the things he said and I am the reason she was kidnapped and I _did_ try to kill her," Bucky sighed.

"Jade has forgiven you for that."

"It doesn't matter, if her parents knew they'd probably file a restraining order against me and forbid me from seeing her."

Steve shook his head. "Well luckily for you Jade is a grown woman. The Bucky she's been dating for 6 months, the one she _loves_ , that's the _real_ Bucky. Not the guy who harmed her, not the one who was under Hydra control. Don't let Tony get in your head. The only thing her parents are concerned with I'm sure is whether or not she's happy, and believe me I know you make Jade happy. Things are gonna go great tonight."

Bucky nodded, trying to let Steve's reassurances sink in. "Okay, punk."

Steve smiled. "Now let me help you pick something to wear, jerk."

* * *

Jade tried not to worry about the impending dinner as she finished her shift, but despite telling Bucky not to worry, she did. While her parents had always been understanding and generally nonjudgmental people, she couldn't exactly tell them that she was dating a 100 year old super soldier that used to be a brainwashed assassin and was currently in therapy and on medication. And while Bucky was doing great, Steve constantly commenting how he had never seen him so happy and his nightmares and panic attacks rare and few, it wasn't present Bucky she worried about them judging, but the past.

"So Bucky is meeting the parentals tonight?" Iris asked from where she leaned against the bathroom door watching Jade try to make her wild curls look halfway decent.

"Yes."

"You seem nervous."

"Yeah, well I haven't exactly told them really anything about him aside from how sweet and great he is. What happens when they ask him what he does, or how old he is, or anything about his past? I feel like I need to make up a fake background for him."

"Isn't honesty the Johnson policy?" Iris joked with air quotes.

Jade glared. It was something her parents had said to her growing up and Iris having been her best friend forever knew that. "Yes, but it's hard to be honest when your boyfriend used to murder people for a terrorist organization between naps on ice and is also a hundred years old. I mean if my parents knew that they'd probably freak the hell out."

"So what will you tell them?" Iris asked.

Jade hesitated. "I have no freaking idea."

Iris laughed at her friend's nervousness. "Well you have fun with that. Let me know how it goes."

"And just what will you be doing tonight missy? You normally come to all the dinners when my parents visit. Since when do you pass up an opportunity for free food?" Jade asked turning a scrutinizing glare on her.

Iris tried to look innocent. "I have some cases that I need to get familiar with for work," she said suddenly becoming interested in her feet. "But… Steve might come over later," she added quietly as she shrugged nonchalantly.

Steve and Iris has quickly figured out that they didn't work as a couple, Iris was far too wild and Steve was far too rigid and every single one of their attempted dates over the past three months had ended in an argument about their differing personalities and values. But apparently the sex was spectacular and it was enough to keep them both coming back for more as friends with benefits much to Jade's irritation. Steve and Iris both had tried to keep the arrangement on the down low, but Jade had caught Steve attempting to sneak out of their apartment or sneaking in multiple times already and the thin walls between Jade and Iris's bedroom did nothing to muffle the sounds of their rigorous love making. Jade unfortunately knew exactly how Steve sounded during sex and while orgasming and that he liked to be called Captain in the bedroom.

"You be careful with him," Jade warned again with a pointed finger. "That's America's golden boy."

Iris rolled her eyes. "America's golden boy?" She scoffed. "I have been extremely honest about my intentions, which are just to get super soldier dick from time to time with no strings and he gets it. We clearly don't work as a couple, but we're adults and we can have casual sex from time to time. He completely understands and is a willing participant. Don't worry about him, Steve is a big boy… and I mean in many ways," she added with a wink. Jade cringed.

"You're terrible," Jade shook her head.

"Be happy for me! Jeez! You can't be the only one getting dicked down by a super soldier."

"Well I'm actually in a relationship with a super soldier not casually screwing him. There is a difference."

"Steve likes being my booty call."

"GROSS."

The doorbell rang saving her from the torment of the conversation. It was Bucky and Jade had to admit he'd done well preparing himself. He was dressed in a dark blue button down under his black leather jacket, with jeans and his usual boots. He'd shaved his stubble down some and his hair looked freshly washed and soft around his face. Jade smiled as she took him in.

"Well Barnes you clean up nice," she said.

"I'm meeting my best girl's parents I have to look nice," he shrugged.

"Oh your best girl? There are others?"

"Just a few. They don't compare to you, but I do have to keep my options open you know?"

She gave him a mock frown as he chuckled and pulled her coat on. "Cute, Barnes, real cute. You ready for this?"

"As ready as I'll ever be," Bucky offered her a hand. "Let's go."

They said goodbye to Iris hailing a cab to meet her parents at an italian restaurant that both Jade and Bucky loved. Jade took the opportunity of the cab ride to give him the rundown of her parents, she had spoken of them before, but felt a need to go over it again as a quick refresher.

"My parents have been happily married for 45 years. My dad, Michael, is a neurosurgeon. He's the whole reason I went into the medical field. He's really nice, not the threaten you with a shotgun type of dad, he's chill. My mom, Janet, is a history professor, she's also semi chill, she was a lot more strict than my dad was and if anyone is gonna threaten you it will be her, but I highly doubt it will happen," she explained.

"And what did you tell them about me?" Bucky asked.

"I've been real vague about you actually. You know I don't like lying, so I just told them that we met at a club, which is true, and that you're really sweet and I'm in love with you. I warned them about metal arm of course, but only so they wouldn't stare. Not that they would, but you know what I mean. I've pretty much been quiet about your past and what you do and…" she trailed off when Bucky arched an eyebrow. "I'm not embarrassed of you or anything I just don't want them to worry or judge you," she added quickly taking his hand.

"I know you aren't, Sugar," he kissed the back of her hand. "Just trying to get an idea of what they know."

"Your past doesn't matter. It's about who you are now. So just be yourself," she said squeezing his hand. "Okay?"

He smiled, but Jade noticed it hadn't quite reached his eyes. She leaned in for a reassuring kiss, letting it linger until she was pulling back and looking him in the eye, trying to convey all she felt in a look.

"I love you James Buchanan Barnes and that's all that matters."

Her parents were already at the restaurant when they arrived, seated at a table. Her father, a tall and lanky, handsome dark skinned man with glasses rose when he saw them, a large smile on his face, his arms already opened for his daughter to enter. Jade went into them with a smile, accepting his warm hug while Bucky stood back watching the interaction.

"My little buttercup," Michael Johnson said pulling back to look at his daughter with a proud smile. "How are you?"

"I'm great, Dad." She blushed profusely at the nickname before turning to her mother. Bucky instantly saw where's Jade got her honeyed skin and curls from. Janet Johnson and Jade looked almost identical save for the age difference. Janet was beaming just the same as Michael was.

"And you must be James," Michael said offering a hand to Bucky.

Jade saw Bucky tense, but the smile remained on his face as he took the hand offered and gave it a good shake. "Yes, it's a pleasure to meet you Mr. Johnson."

"Please, call him Michael and me Janet, we've heard so much about you," Janet stepped forward and opened her arms to Bucky.

Bucky blinked in surprise but went in for the hug, passing Jade a surprised glance as she smiled at him. Apparently Mrs. Johnson was a hugger.

"Hopefully you've heard good things," Bucky said as they moved to sit down, pausing to pull out Jade's chair for her.

Janet chuckled. "Of course, it's only been good thing. Jade just raves about you on our Wednesday calls."

"Mom," Jade breathed in embarrassment. Sure she gushed about him, but he didn't need to know that.

"What? It's true. It's just 'James this' and 'James that'," Janet replied putting her napkin in her lap.

Bucky looked at Jade adoringly, making her blush before he reached over and took her hand. "I had no idea you loved to talk about me so much, Sugar."

"It's all lies, Barnes, I barely mention you," Jade winked, making chuckle.

The waiter approached to take their orders and they dove into small talk about their own he weather back in Maine, where Jade's parents were from and how work was going for Jade and her parents. Bucky managed to get away without saying much until their food arrived and things quieted. It was then that Janet set her eyes on him, and he knew the questions would start. Bucky had thought long and hard on the way to Jade's about what he'd say about his own past, and how he could frame the answers that wouldnt allude to just how old he was and what he used to do. He could give honest answers without giving anything away and he planned to do just that.

"So James, tell me about yourself," she said cutting into her lasagna. "Jade talks so much about you, but I don't even know what you do. Are you from New York?"

Bucky nodded. "Yes, I'm from Brooklyn."

"I see and do you work?"

"Yes," Bucky answered.

"And you do what exactly?" Janet arched an eyebrow and paused in her eating.

Bucky hesitated, looking at Jade who gave him a tight lipped smile. "I, uh, well… I'm a trainer and an agent… for the Avengers."

Michael and Janet shared a surprised glance. "Wow that's interesting," Michael said between bites of food. "What kind of schooling do you need to get that kind of job?"

Jade frowned slightly at her father. She knew the meaning behind that question, he was trying to gauge Bucky's education level.

Bucky didn't miss a beat. "Um none actually, but I had some military experience which qualified me for the position."

"Oh so you were in the military before working for the Avengers?"

"Yes," Bucky answered. "I was a sergeant."

"Where were you stationed?" Michael asked.

"I was in a...special… anti-terrorism task force that traveled a lot of places, basically to wherever we were needed…" Bucky answered carefully. It was also true.

"It sounds like you have a very interesting life, James," Michael smirked. "I can see why my daughter would be interested in you. Your parents must be so proud of all you've done in service of your country."

Jade saw Bucky's shoulders tense and he shifted uncomfortably in his chair, the first sign of nervousness and apprehension she had seen from him all night.

"My parents… and sister passed away a long time ago, but I'd like to think they'd be proud of the good I've done," Bucky answered, his voice low and eyes on his plate.

Janet's face fell as did Michael's both glancing at Jade, who gave them a sad smile and reached over to touch Bucky's shoulder. It was something she knew of course, Bucky having mentioned it when talking about his life back in the 1940's, but she also knew it was hard to talk about.

"I'm so sorry to hear that James," Janet said.

"Thank you, Janet," Bucky said, his hand reaching up touch Jade's as it rested on his shoulder.

A tense silence followed and Jade quickly changed the subject. "So Iris got a job at a very prestigious law firm in the city. She had to act like a completely different person in the interview, but she a legit attorney now."

Their dinner progressed without incident and Jade was surprised at how carefully and calculated Bucky answered all the questions, giving no unhonest answers but also not giving any indication to how truly old he was and what his past entailed. By the end of the dinner she could tell her parents were impressed, especially when Bucky stated his interest in history and could discuss in detail world war 2 facts with her mother, who taught college classes on the very subject. They made plans to try and have lunch the next day before her parents would leave for Maine, both of them hugging her and Bucky goodbye.

"I like this one much better than Patrick," Michael whispered to his daughter as he embraced her, giving her a wink when he pulled back and she blushed. "I approve."

She looked over at Bucky who was standing beside her mom, a knowing smile on his face, his super serum enhanced hearing having undoubtedly heard her father's comment.

"Yeah," she replied smiling at Bucky. "He's a good one."

Jade breathed a sigh of relief as she watched her parents drive off in a cab, leaving her and Bucky standing on the sidewalk.

"How'd I do?" He asked looking down at her as he wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

"Amazing. I'm certain they liked you."

"Not bad for a semi-stable hundred year old man huh?"

She turned to him and pulled him closed by the front of his coat. "Not bad at all, Barnes," she laughed before kissing him.


	4. Nine Months: The Bodyguard

A/N: This is a long one, but its got all your favs. angst, fluff, and smut.

* * *

"You have to focus, Doll," Bucky scolded, but he found it very hard to keep a stern expression when she was looking so adorable.

"I am," she lied.

"You aren't."

Jade blinked innocently up at him from underneath him where he had pinned her to the mat on the training room floor. He was trying to train her, to show her self defense and hand to hand combat moves, feeling the need to, now that she was a part of his life and that meant that she was in danger. She had refused to train the first few times he offered, she was a lover and not a fighter, but after his insistence, stating that it was important, she relented. They had, had a few training sessions already and she showed promise, but today her mind was clearly on other things.

Like sex.

Which was evident by the way she kept letting him pin her with barely any resistance, her legs wrapping around his waist and her hips rising up to grind against him. Like she was currently doing. Bucky did his best to ignore the advances even though each time she did it, his cock throbbed with want.

"I am focusing," she tightened her legs, forcing him closer.

"No, you aren't," he chuckled grabbing her leg and prying it from his waist so he could rise and bring her along with him. She gave him a pitiful pout that made him smile.

"How much longer do we have to do this?" She whined. "I thought we were going to go celebrate our nine months of dating bliss."

"And we will. After you get these new moves down."

Bucky bit back a groan as she wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing her body into his again, tensing against her. "I can think of some new moves I'd much rather try upstairs," she whispered sultrily.

She had been working nonstop for the past few days and he had been busy preparing for an upcoming mission with Steve, one where he'd be gone a week or more, most likely more according to Steve, that he would leave for in a few days. They hadn't had sex in well over a week and he was tempted, very tempted, but ultimately he shook his head. This was important, the need to get her able to defend herself even more urgent when he knew he'd be leaving her.

It would be the longest time that he would be away from her since they started dating. And he was worried. They hadn't heard anything about Dimitri, but he hadn't been caught either and his return was a very real possibility. They still weren't sure if he was working alone or with Hydra, meaning Hydra was still its own separate threat; and now that he and Jade were officially dating and had been for nine months, he worried even more for her safety. She could be used again to get to him and he remembered vividly what she had already been through.

" _After_ , Sugar," he said pulling her arms from around his neck and kissing her hands briefly before letting them drop. "Come on show me your fighting stance, Bruce Willis."

Jade gave him another pouty look, but a hint of a smile was on her lips. She got into her starting position like Bucky had taught her, flexing her hands before balling them into fists and giving him a determined look. Now she was focusing, and Bucky had to admit that when she focused and applied herself, she was a force to be reckoned with. How she was in the training room rivaled her sweet and soft nature everywhere else, sometimes it surprised him when she showed the fierce fire that was hidden inside of her that he coaxed out. And he hoped that she remembered the fierceness if Dimitri or any other threat ever came for her before he could stop it. He never wanted her to be a victim ever again.

It was him that got pinned this time, feeling his back hit the mat hard, her knee on his chest and a triumphant smile on her face. Bucky couldn't stop the proud grin that slid across his face as he looked up at her.

"How was that?" She asked, already knowing the answer, but loving to hear his praises.

"Pretty damn good, Sugar."

"Have I earned a kiss then?"

He considered it for a moment making her give him an impatient look before he nodded. "Yes, you have."

She smiled widely at him, moving her knee to straddle his hips and press her lips into his. Bucky had intended for it to be a quick kiss, a small reward for her efforts, but her lips lingered and then he felt the wetness of her tongue seeking access. He gave in immediately, his lips parting to let her in, his hands taking hold of her hips and pulling her down onto his growing erection. She moaned into his mouth at the pressure, gripping his hair at the base of his neck and kissing him harder, while he wondered if the door to the training room had a lock on it.

It was then someone cleared their throat, causing their lips to break apart. Bucky's head turned upward and back, catching sight of Steve and Tony standing at the door to the training room.

"Bucky, a word please," Steve said gravelly.

Bucky didn't like the look on his best friend's face nor his tone, it made his stomach twist. He also noted how Tony didn't make a joke or comment on just what he had walked in on meaning something was definitely up. And with his luck it wasn't anything good.

"What happened?" he said wiping his palms on his sweats.

Steve and Tony said nothing, both looking pointedly at Jade, who quickly caught on that this conversation wouldn't include her. "I'll head upstairs and shower," she said touching Bucky's arm. "I'll see you in a bit."

He nodded, watching her go, approaching Steve and Tony with crossed arms. "What is it?"

"Dimitri is in the states again," Tony cut to the chase. "F.R.I.D.A.Y picked him up through facial recognition at an airport. Wasn't using his real name of course, but we're working on figuring out his alias and where he came from and just what the hell he's up to. He disappeared after the airport, but F.R.I.D.A.Y is on high alert."

"And so are we," Steve added.

Bucky's fists clenched. "He's coming for us."

"We don't know that Manchurian Candidate," Tony said.

Bucky scoffed shaking his head. "What else would he be in the states for? He was after me for a long time before he acted and he told Jade she was his. He's got a vendetta and he's not just going to let me or her go."

"We're going to protect the both of you, Bucky," Steve assured touching his shoulder.

"I don't need protection. Jade does."

"We aren't going to let anything happen to Jade," Steve squeezed his shoulder.

"I can't go on that mission, Steve. I was already worried about leaving her when we thought Dimitri was out of the country. But now?" He shook his head again. "I'm not letting her out of my sight."

"Bucky, this mission is important. It's a Hydra base. You know the layout better than all of us. We can't go without you and we may be able to find out more information about Dimitri."

A benefit of Bucky regaining all his memories, aside from remembering Jade, was that he remembered the locations of Hydra bases that he had been taken too or told about. He also knew the names of Hydra agents and had intel on them. Slowly, but surely he and The Avengers had been taking the bases and agents on one by one and the one they had been preparing for happened to be the biggest and housed an archive of Hydra files. Steve was right, he did know the base better than the rest, but he couldn't leave Jade.

"I'm not leaving her unprotected. I can't Steve. They came for her before when I was gone and if I hadn't come back early they would have gotten to her."

"We know that you don't want to leave Jade unguarded which is why Cap and I were discussing putting protections in place for her. A security system at her apartment and a security detail to accompany her everywhere, especially at the hospital."

"Jade isn't going to like that one bit," Bucky commented.

"Well what if we dont tell her? Have them hang back? Sit outside her apartment when she's there or the hospital? Maybe not telling her would be best, considering she's still sometimes prone to panic attacks and such?" Steve offered.

"Absolutely not," Bucky refused. "You remember what happened the last time I kept something from her and that's not happening again. We tell her and she deals with it because it's about her safety."

"Okay. But you can't sit this mission out. You talk it over with Jade and then we can go from there. We won't go until we know she's safe."

Bucky nodded. "I better go talk to Jade."

"Barnes, hold up a sec," Tony said holding up a hand. "Talk to Jade about moving into the compound. She can have her own room if she'd like so she doesn't have to bunk with you, but it is the safest place for her. And it'd keep her friend iris out of danger in case they come looking for her."

Bucky was generally surprised by Tony's kindness. He hadn't thought about the possibility of Jade moving into the compound, it was the safest place for her and it would make him feel a great deal better. He found himself smiling at Tony, something he never did.

"Thank you for that Tony," he said with a nod. "I'll ask her. You keep me updated on Dimitri. The minute F.R.I.D.A.Y or anyone gets his scent I want to know right away."

Tony and Steve both nodded stepping aside so he could head toward the elevator. Jade was just getting out of the shower when he entered his room, finding her in just a towel, while she lotioned herself up on his bed.

"Hey," she said with a hesitant smile when she saw him.

"We gotta talk, Sugar."

She frowned. "I get the feeling that this is bad news."

He joined her on the bed, sitting close, placing a gentle hand on her thigh. "It is. Dimitri is in the states again."

Jade paled before his very eyes, the color draining from her honeyed skin. Her lips parted and she sucked in a ragged breath. She recovered after a few stunned seconds, swallowing hard and looking down at the lotion she was currently rubbing into her arm.

"I had almost forgotten about Dimitri," she said softly. "It's been almost two years and everything's been so nice for the past months."

"It will still be nice, baby, nothing's gonna change except that Tony is going to hire a security detail for you and who will be with you at all times."

Jade blinked at him and then laughed, making Bucky frown. "Security detail? You mean like bodyguards? I don't need bodyguards. They can't just follow me around until Dimitri shows his face, if he ever does."

"Yeah, they can and will be doing that," he said firmly.

Jade sighed. "Okay well what about my job? I work with kids, they could get scared, plus what do I tell my bosses? It will violate patient privacy to have to have a bodyguard following me around while I work. My bosses won't have that."

"Like Steve said before, your job compared to your life is nothing. If your bosses don't understand then quit. This isn't negotiable."

Jade's face fell and she shook her head. "You don't get to decide if it's negotiable or not. And you know what? It's been almost two years. I can't keep freaking out everytime something comes up about Dimitri. He hasn't done anything for this long maybe he's given up."

Bucky continued to frown at her, feeling an irritation to how she was reacting to this. She was in very real danger. "Or maybe he's been planning something all along, hoping we'd let our guard down so he can act with the element of surprise. And you think it's a coincidence I'm supposed to be leaving on a mission in a few days and suddenly he shows up in the states?"

"How would be even know about the mission? Or that you're leaving?" She rose from the bed, holding the towel around her closed with one hand. "Look, I'm not having panic attacks anymore and I am only going to therapy once a month. I've just started feeling like I could stop looking over my shoulder. I have been happy and I want to keep being happy. I don't want to live with that fear anymore," She snapped frustratedly, her voice raising, beginning to pace back and forth before him. "So no I am not going to start living in fear again and having some bodyguards following me around."

"I know that you've been happy and I want that to continue for you, but in order for that to happen you have to be alive!" Bucky snapped back.

"Well if I am going to spend my life hiding in my apartment or having to have some damn bodyguards follow me around on the chance of something happening I might as well die!"

Bucky growled, jumping to his feet. "Stop being stupid and realize that I am just worried about your safety! I am trying to keep you alive dammit!"

Jade froze, a frown crossing her lips. She didn't say anything for several seconds, just stared at him with anger burning in her brown eyes before she was grabbing her overnight bag and storming into the bathroom, the door slamming shut behind her.

Bucky sighed, walking to the bathroom door. "Jade, I didn't mean to call you stupid. I'm sorry."

There was no reply from the other side only the sound of what Bucky assumed was her putting on her clothes.

"Please, can we just talk about this?" Bucky asked leaning against the frame of the door.

The bathroom door swung open revealing her in jeans and a T-shirt, her curls pulled up into a bun. "I'm going home," she said simply and calmly, moving past him to grab her shoes.

"Fine, but I'm coming with you," he replied watching her put on her shoes and coat.

"No you aren't. I think we need a break from each other for a couple hours," she said picking up her bag and slinging it over her shoulder. "I'll call you later."

Bucky felt his stomach sink, but that wasn't going to stop him. He moved in front of her blocking the door. She groaned in frustration, frowning up at him.

"James-."

"You aren't leaving this compound without me Jade. You can be mad all you want, but until Dimitri is found I'm not letting you out of my sight. I care about your safety dammit."

Her face softened just enough for Bucky to see it, her eyes searching his face before she was sighing again. "Fine, you can come, but I'm not speaking to you."

He rolled his eyes, but nodded. "I can live with that."

* * *

They went back to Jade's apartment in a tense silence. Jade going into her room without a word, shutting the door on Bucky, who had attempted to follow. She was seething with anger, not just because he had said she was being stupid, but because she had just started to forget about Dimitri and everything that happened to her and here it came crashing back over. She knew Bucky was just trying to keep her safe, but it didn't lessen the irritation of him trying to control her. She didn't want to quit her job nor did she want to call attention to herself by having a security detail following her around every second of her life for god knows how long.

She had been in her room, cleaning and then attempting to read, anything to avoid having to leave her room and see Bucky, when a knock sounded on the door.

"I'm still mad!" She yelled.

"Well I'm not sure what I did, but I'm sorry anyway," came Steve's voice jokingly.

She couldn't stop the smile that came across her face. She sat up from where she had been laying and tossed her book aside. "Come in Rogers."

The door opened and Steve walked in alone, but holding a plate with a slice of pizza and a soda. Her stomach rumbled at the sight. Steve shut the door behind him and approached the bed, offering her the plate and drink before sitting on the edge.

"How did you know I'd be hungry?"

"I didn't. Bucky asked me to bring it over. Said you've been in your room for hours and you haven't eaten."

She felt that warm feeling in her heart that she usually did at all of Bucky's kind and thoughtful gestures. "Thank you."

"Maybe it's him you should be thanking," Steve suggested.

"I'm mad at him."

"Yeah I figured. Wanna talk about it?" He asked.

"Not really. You'll probably just take his side," Jade bit into her pizza and avoided Steve's intense gaze.

"Bucky is just worried about your safety. You mean the world to him and the thought of something happening to you probably scares the hell out of him."

"See I told you, you'd take his side."

"Jade."

"Steve, I get it okay. But there's no guarantee that Dimitri is even after me and he thinks I can just quit my job and hide until he does something. I don't want to live like I did that year that he was on ice again, looking over my shoulder and being scared to be alone and having a panic attack nearly every damn day."

"We don't want you to live like that either, but you know what's different now? Bucky. He's here. He'll protect you. But you have to work with us. We're just trying to keep you safe."

Jade fiddled with her curls, hating the fact that he was right. He usually was. _Damn America's Golden Boy_. "Okay fine, you're right, Rogers. But he called me stupid."

"I'm sure he didn't mean that of course."

"I don't think he did either, but still."

"I'll knock him upside the head for you," Steve offered. "Would that make you feel better?"

"Maybe a little," Jade shrugged with a smirk.

Steve chuckled. "How about this? Instead of a security detail, how about _one_ bodyguard? He's supposed to be leaving on a mission as you know and it will make him feel better to know you have a guard."

Jade considered it and as much as she didn't want to, she relented. "Fine. One. But they cant follow me everywhere. They can hang at the hospital, but in the waiting room. They aren't going to be on my heels every second at work."

"Fine, but you'll have to wear a comm that way if something happens you can alert them."

"Agreed."

"There's one more thing I want you to consider," Steve started slowly. "Consider moving into the compound...for Iris's sake."

Jade gaped at him. "Move into the compound?"

"If Dimitri is up to something he's probably watching you and that puts Iris in danger because she lives with you and he could take her to get to you or she could be a casualty if he comes to take you and she interferes. It's safer for you and _her_ if you move to the compound. Tony says you can have your own room if you don't want to share with Bucky."

Jade hesitated. Moving into the Compound? Was Bucky even ready for that? She wasn't sure she was, but Steve had a point about Iris's safety. Jade couldn't live with herself if something happened to Iris.

"If it will keep Iris safe I will do it. But just until this thing with Dimitri is over."

Steve looked relieved. "Good."

"Speaking of Iris… Are you guys still….?" Jade trailed off and raised her eyebrows suggestively.

Jade had noticed a lack of Steve's presence at the apartment more and more over the past few months and Iris hadn't mentioned him in awhile.

Steve shook his head, the tops of his ears reddening. "No, we ended that. But we're still friends."

"Oh. Well at least it was fun while it lasted, 'Captain'," Jade teased, saying his title in a breathy voice, the same way she had heard Steve ordered Iris to say it through the thin walls between their bedrooms.

Steve's whole face turned red. Jade burst into laughter.

* * *

Bucky paced impatiently waiting for Steve to come out of Jade's room and tell him how the talk went. He had sent in the big guns, big guns meaning Steve who somehow always managed to keep Jade calm, and Bucky knew Steve would be better at getting his point across then he would himself. Steve had always been better at that kind of thing. He just needed to make Jade see that it was her safety he was worried about and that it was all that mattered to him.

He heard Jade's bedroom door open and close, seeing Steve coming down the hallway with an empty plate and soda can. He looked at him expectantly, holding up his hands.

"Well?"

"She agreed to one bodyguard, not a whole security detail. She also doesn't want to be followed around at work. She said they can be at the hospital, but in the waiting room, and she'll wear a comm so if anything happens then they'll know it."

It wasn't what Bucky would have preferred, but he nodded. "Okay, that's a start…"

"And she's agreed to move into the compound _temporarily_ for Iris's sake," Steve finished. "But you'll have to discuss with her if she'll share your room or want her own."

"Fine. Thanks for talking to her and bringing the pizza. I'll go talk to her."

He made to move past Steve, but Steve raised a hand to stop him. "She says you're still on time out for calling her 'stupid'. She'll come talk to you when she's ready. Oh and-." He hit Bucky upside the head as promised, not too hard but enough to make the super soldier frown and hold the side of his head.

"What the hell, Steve?"

"That's for calling her stupid. Don't do that."

Bucky glared. "Whose side are you on here?"

" _Both._ Don't go rushing in there making it worse. She'll come out when she's ready. Now I'm leaving before Iris comes home. I'll see you later."

Bucky watched Steve go before looking back down the hall, considering going to Jade's room to talk to her anyway, because Steve Rogers was not the boss of him dammit, but decided against it. He sat down on the couch that groaned under his weight and turned on the television instead.

He must of dozed off, waking hours later to the sound of Jade's apartment door opening and closing. He sat up quickly, looking to see Iris walking out of the foyer and setting her bag down on the ground.

"Hey Iris," he said sleepily, running a hand over his face.

"Hello Mr. Metal," Bucky hated that nickname as much as the ones Stark called him, but Iris didn't seem to care and called him it anyway. "Uh oh. Someone's in the dog house huh?" Iris taunted with an arched eyebrow.

He tried not to look guilty. "Jade and I had a... disagreement...so yeah I'm in 'timeout'," he used air quotes and rolled his eyes for emphasis.

"What did you?" Iris questioned.

"It's a long story I'm sure she'll tell you later," Bucky sighed.

"Well count yourself lucky when Patrick used to get 'time out' Jade wouldn't allow him within 100 feet of this apartment or her for like 3 days. You getting put on the couch is nothing."

He looked down, frowning when he saw that someone had covered him with a throw blanket. It must have been Jade as Iris had just come home. She must have come out to talk and found him asleep.

"I'm going to go talk to her," he said rising from the couch.

"Good luck," Iris winked as she disappeared into the kitchen.

He walked down the hall, knocking softly on Jade's still closed bedroom door. He didn't hear a response, but tried the door knob anyway, finding it unlocked and pushing it open slowly. Her room was dark, only the light of the moonlight spilling in from the window, illuminating her asleep on her bed.

He shut the door behind him quietly, tip toeing toward her bed, looking down at her sleeping. She was lying on the bed, her curls splayed out around her head, one bared honeyed leg sticking out from under the covers. He sat down on the bed next to her, brushing the fingers of his flesh hand across her soft cheek.

She stirred when his fingers touched her skin, groaning in her sleep, her eyes fluttering open slowly to blink up at him in the dark. "Hi," she whispered.

"Still mad?" He asked softly.

She sighed and sat up, turning on her bedside table lamp, pushing away the curls that fell into her face. "No, I'm not. I know you're just worried about me."

Bucky sucked in a deep breath and looked her in the eye. "Jade, I haven't cared about anyone or anything, except for Steve, in such a long time. And when I'm with you, it's easy to forget who I was and who is after me and the very real danger I put you in just by loving you. They already came for you once just because of one date and now...If something happened to you _again_ because of me, I don't know what I'd do with myself. The thought of losing you terrifies me and I just…" he trailed off shaking his head.

She scooted towards him wrapping her arms around him, resting her head on his shoulder. "I'm not going anywhere. And I trust you to keep me safe."

His arms hugged her to his body tightly, his face pressed into her curls breathing in the flowery smell of her conditioner. "I can't lose you," he whispered.

She lifted her head to look him in the eye. "I promise you won't."

He knew it was a promise she couldn't keep, but he let himself believe it anyway, just for the moment.

"We've reached a milestone though," she said with a smirk.

"Oh?"

"Yes, we've had our first fight. And it only took nine months, guess that means we're getting pretty serious," she shrugged casually.

Bucky chuckled. "Guess so…and since we fought that means that we make up now right?"

"Pretty sure that's what we're doing now, Barnes."

"Well I have other ways in mind of saying sorry," he whispered huskily.

He kissed her before she could respond, slow and soft, his tongue slipping into her mouth, sliding over hers. The moment their tongues met the kiss changed from soft and sweet to hard and urgent. She moaned into his mouth, pressing her body into his, her hands tugging at the hem of his shirt forcing him to pull back to discard it. She followed suit, ripping her shirt from her body, her eyes wide and lust blown as she watched him take off the rest of his clothing. Her clothing quickly followed before he reclaimed her mouth and pushed her backward on the bed.

She clung to him, setting him ablaze, his mouth tasting her throat and then her breasts in a steady descent down to her core. She gasped when his metal hand palmed her, running his fingers up and down her slick lips before two fingers dipped into her entrance. He pushed them in slowly before drawing them out and repeating the action, gradually picking up speed. Her hips moved in rhythm with his fingers desperately seeking release.

He watched her in awe, finding her the most beautiful when she was a panting and mewling mess under his ministrations. He wondered how he had gotten so lucky to love this woman, to _be loved_ by this woman, and felt a pang of pain in heart at the thought of anything happening to her. He couldn't let that happen. He _wouldn't_ let that happen.

"James," she sighed impatiently when his fingers slowed their pace, denying her the orgasm she craved, while he shifted positions.

"Be patient," he whispered.

"Please," she gasped in frustration, her hips bucking off the bed.

"I know, Baby, I know. I've got you, I promise," he assured, pushing her legs open wider and settling between them.

He felt her tense in anticipation of his touch, her body going taut, her fingers curling around the sheets beneath her in a tight fist. He licked a slow stripe right over her center, tongue swirling around her clit before his mouth closed over it and sucked lightly. She let out a loud moan, her thighs trembling around his head, his scalp tingling when her hand blindly came down to grip his chocolate brown locks. He reveled in her moans and praises and the taste of her, greedily exploring her center desiring the taste of her release on his tongue.

"Ja...James...please…I'm...I'm gonna," she barely managed to get the words out between incoherent gasps of words and sounds that he couldn't make out; the sting of her nails digging into his scalp and the urgent rocking of her hips against his tongue and fingers telling him she was close.

Bucky groaned when he felt the ripple of her walls signaling her orgasm. She arched off the bed, calling out his name once more, and her thighs tightened around his head, prompting him to hold them open with his free arm. He peppered her center in soft kisses and licks while she came down and went limp on the bed. When he made his way back up her body, he found her eyes closed, a lazy smile on her face, her head shaking.

"It makes no sense that you are _that_ good at going down on women," she whispered in disbelief, finally opening her eyes to look up at him.

Bucky grinned wolfishly. "I'm just that good at going down on _you_."

She grinned back, taking hold of his shoulders and flipping their position. He was on his back, with her kneeling above his aching erection, his hands on her hips, and an intense desire to bury himself within her, resting in his gut. She didn't waste time, positioning herself over him and sinking down onto his length, slowly. The feel of her wet heat stretching and wrapping tightly around him almost sent him over the edge. After nine months of being together and making love regularly, she still was so tight around him, needing an adjustment period every time. She groaned loudly when her body swallowed him whole, her head falling back and her hands bracing themselves on his chest. His teeth clenched, hands gripping her hips, keeping her from moving until he was sure he wasn't going to cum in an embarrassingly short time and that he wouldn't hurt her.

"You okay?" He asked, always worried about how she felt.

She nodded deliriously, her eyes still closed and her plump bottom lip between her teeth. Bucky couldn't help but think about biting into that lip with his own teeth.

"You move when you're ready, Sugar," he whispered, marveling at his own patience. "Make it feel good for you."

After what felt like an eternity, she rocked her hips forward in a circle that sent pleasure washing over him, a loud rumbling groan sounding from his chest. He laid back and let her take her pleasure as she saw fit, enjoying the view of her chasing her orgasm. He soaked in the sight of her, eyes still shut tight, her mouth slack, curls falling around her face as her chest heaved and her hips continued to work in a swivel. She pulsed, throbbed, and contracted around him, her movements getting erratic and her moans growing louder. Knowing just what she needed, he slid one hand up to tease her nipple while the other went to where their bodies met and circled her clit. That was all it took to send her groaning and squirming over the edge, her body tightening around him.

"We ain't done yet, baby," Bucky said wrapping an arm around her and changing their positions.

An hour later they lay in post coital bliss, their skin still tingling from their orgasms. Bucky rested on his back with Jade's head resting on his chest, his hand absentmindedly toying with her curls while she tried her damndest to stay awake.

"I say we have sufficiently made up," Jade mumbled sleepily, a satisfied smile on her face.

"I'd say I never want to fight with you again, but I did enjoy making up very much," he chuckled.

"We can still have great sex without the arguing."

"True…," Bucky reasoned. "Steve said you agreed to move into the compound?"

"Yes, to protect Iris...and myself I suppose. Steve said that Tony would let me have my own room…" she chewed her bottom lip worriedly and turned her head to look at him. "Unless you want to share?"

Bucky moved a stray curl from her face, tucking it behind her ear. "I'd love to share a room with you."

Jade hesitated. "Okay, but I don't want us to move in together because I am in danger. I want us to live together because _we_ _want too_. So if you don't feel ready then I can get my own room-."

Bucky silenced her with a finger to her lips. "Did you not hear what I said? I said I'd love to share a room with you. And it's because I _want_ to and not just because you're in danger."

A smile touched Jade's lips. "So we're moving in together then?"

He nodded, guiding her mouth to his to kiss her again. "Yes."

* * *

Bucky wanted Jade to move in right away of course, trying to get her to start packing her things the moment they woke up the following day. And while Jade understood his sense of urgency, she forced him to relax. She didn't want to just up and leave Iris, though she didn't want to tell her the reason she was moving out was to keep her safe, it would make Iris worry. She told Bucky that she wouldn't move until after she had spoken with Iris and made sure that she could handle the rent on her own and was okay with her moving out.

Jade brought it up the next day when she and Iris were having lunch; telling her that she and Bucky were ready for the next step and wanted to live together, but she worried about leaving her alone. Iris had scoffed at that and reminded Jade that she had just landed a fancy job at a law firm and would be perfectly fine without her. She even added that she could finally decorate the apartment as she wanted without Jade calling her taste 'tacky'. Jade was a little hurt by how easily Iris could live without her, they had lived together since college, even during Jade's relationship with Patrick. But Iris insisted that they'd still talk and spend time together and nothing would change, and that she was excited for Jade to take this next step in her relationship with Bucky.

Bucky moved her in the day after Iris gave the okay, three days after they learned Dimitri was around, helping her to pack and then moving the boxes with Steve's help and offering to let her decorate the room as she saw fit. She didn't have any desire to change anything aside from putting up a few pictures of her family and Iris that she was fond of.

The day after she moved in Tony summoned her and Bucky to the conference room where he was seated with Steve and a man she didn't recognize. He was a good looking, muscular guy, with dark hair and blue eyes and a chiseled jaw. They all rose when she entered, the new man matching Steve's height. He offered Jade a warm smile and nodded at her.

"Jade, Bucky, this is Anton Sokolov," Tony introduced motioning to him. "A highly decorated ex military agent who has graciously accepted a position to be Jade's bodyguard until the Dimitri situation is ended."

"Oh, it's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Sokolov," Jade said offering a hand that he took.

"The pleasure is mine, Ms. Johnson," Anton replied with a nod.

Anton offered his hand to Bucky next, who instead of offering his, looked at the hand skeptically and turned blue eyes on Tony and Steve. "Stark, Steve, a word, please. In the hallway."

Tony and Steve shared a glance before moving around the table, excusing themselves from Anton and following Bucky outside. Jade hung back, thinking that again the conversation wouldn't include her, and figuring she should make small talk and get to know this new man who would be guarding her. But Bucky stepped back into the room and grabbed her arm, pulling her along with them and shutting the door.

"Who the hell is that guy?" Bucky pointed to the closed conference room door.

"He's Anton Sokolov, a highly decorated ex-military agent, who has graciously accepted a position to be Jade's bodyguard," Tony repeated, with a frown. "Did I not mention that before?"

"Yeah, I heard that part, but I thought we'd be hiring someone from within and that _I_ would be included in the damn hiring process of a bodyguard for _my_ girlfriend," Bucky replied through clenched teeth.

"Bucky, we vetted him, he checks out. And we thought hiring a fresh face for this, someone with experience, would be better than someone from within," Steve crossed his arms over his chest. "Tony and I interviewed and picked candidates together and he is the best."

Bucky didn't look convinced. "I don't like it."

"Why?" Tony and Steve said at the same time, glancing at each other.

"I don't know, I just don't," Bucky grumbled.

"That's not a good enough reason, Barnes. We should give the guy a chance and appreciate the fact that he's willing to potentially die for your girlfriend, who he doesn't even know. He starts tomorrow."

Tony didn't bother waiting for a response, turning on his heel and walking back into the conference room, his hands stuffed into the pockets of his fancy three piece suit. Bucky watched him go with a scowl. Jade could tell he wasn't happy.

"Well for what it's worth, he seems nice," she finally chimed in.

"That doesn't matter. We don't need him to be nice. We need to trust him to keep you alive and I don't," Bucky replied.

"Just give him a chance, Buck-," Steve started.

Bucky was already storming back into the conference room, leaving Steve and Jade to follow as he put his hands on the table and glared down at Anton, who was still seated and gazed back at Bucky unblinkingly and clearly not intimidated.

"Ex-military huh?" Bucky asked. "What branch?"

"U.S. Army, Special Forces," Anton answered simply.

"And where were you stationed?"

Anton smiled calmly. "That's classified."

Jade saw the muscle in Bucky's jaw twinge. "How's your aim?"

"I was the best marksman in my squad."

"And your hand to hand combat skills?"

"Even better than my aim."

Bucky went silent, his face stoic, his eyes filled with distrust. Anton held Buckys gaze, his hands neatly folded on the table.

"And you're willing to die for this woman," Bucky said nodding toward Jade, who rolled her eyes.

Anton looked to Jade briefly and then back to Bucky. "It's my job."

"I'm trusting her care to you, but know that if anything happens to her, and I mean _anything_ , under your watch I'll will not hesitate to ki-."

"Easy there, Bucky!" Steve said with a nervous smile, putting both hands on his best friends shoulders and forcing him to straighten. "Anton knows the job and what's at stake, so we can all just...relax."

Bucky still seemed tense, but said nothing else, his glare still on Anton. Jade chose that moment to step forward and go for a much softer approach, she trusted Steve and Tony, and if they said this guy was the best, then she'd give him a chance. He was willing to put his life on the line for her, the least she could do was offer some gratitude, unlike her boyfriend.

"Thank you, Mr. Sokolov," Jade said. "It's a potentially dangerous job and you don't even know me, you have my appreciation."

Anton nodded with a smile. "It's no problem, Ms. Johnson. I look forward to working with you. And please, call me Anton. Can I call you Jade?"

Beside her, Bucky's frown turned to a scowl. Jade opened her mouth to respond, but it was his voice that sounded. "You can call her Ms. Johnson. Now if you'll excuse us."

Again Bucky took hold of her arm and lead her from the conference room leaving Tony, Steve and Anton behind. He was silent until they made it back to their room, him shutting and locking the door after they entered. Jade had never seen Bucky so tense or upset.

"James, what's wrong?" She asked sitting down on their bed and pulling her shoes off. "I thought you wanted me to have a bodyguard?"

"I do. But I thought I would be the one choosing and it would be someone that we already know. We have plenty of fine agents here, some that I have even trained myself, some that you know. Not some pretty boy who doesn't even know you," he put his hands on his hips and shook his head.

Jade stared at him blankly. " _Pretty boy?_ "

Bucky frowned. "You know what I mean."

"Are you jealous of Anton?" Jade asked with an arched eyebrow and a smile playing at her lips.

"Jealous?" Bucky scoffed.

"You are, aren't you?"

"Jade," he gave her a warning look.

She rose from the bed walking to him, wrapping her arms around his neck. "James Buchanan Barnes, you have nothing to be jealous about."

"I'm. Not. Jealous."

"You are, but it's okay. It's kind of cute."

He rolled his eyes, but his arms came around her waist anyway.

"I only have eyes for you, Barnes," she assured with a smile. "So don't you worry...now would you like to christen our bed?"

Bucky looked at the bed, his bed, the same bed they've had sex in many times. "Not that I am complaining, but haven't we done that already?"

"We've had sex in _your_ bed before, but now it's _our_ bed so it should definitely be christened. It has to be or it's bad luck. We basically have no choice."

He chuckled softly, bending toward her to lift her against him by the backs of her thighs. Her legs wrapped around his waist as she let out a excited yelp as he smiled up at her.

"If you insist, Sugar."


	5. Twelve Months: The Test

**A/N: This is short. Sorry. But I wanted to make sure I got something out. Longer chapter to come.**

* * *

"Bucky, Anton has been working with Jade for three months and they get along swell, we've put off the mission long enough, it's time to move."

Tony's voice was firm, authoritative, and irritable from where he stood at the head of the conference table, staring Bucky down with a 'this is non negotiable' look. He was right, Anton had been working with Jade for three months now, and much to Bucky's dismay, they did get along great. Jade felt comfortable around Anton, both of them having built a rapport and a routine. Anton showed up every day to escort Jade to work and stayed with her until she was safely back at the compound after work or having done whatever errands she needed to do. He even accompanied her when Bucky was present, something he hated, but Tony insisted on 'getting his money's worth', though Bucky was sure Tony did it to get a rise out of him. Anton trailed them on dates and outings, a comfortable distance away, but still ever present.

"You wanted to hold off until you knew that Anton and Jade would get along and to see how he handled his duties," Steve piped up from where he sat. "And they're getting along great and he's handling his duties pretty good if you ask me so the mission should be a go."

"I still don't like it. I still don't like him," Bucky said shaking his head.

Tony groaned and Steve pinched the bridge of his nose with a heavy sigh, his go to sign of frustration.

"We still don't know what Dimitri is planning, we may not have heard anything, but he's still out there," Bucky added. "I can't go."

"Which is what he hired Anton for, to keep Jade safe from Dimitri while you're away so that point is moot. Next." Tony's arms crossed over his chest.

"And if he comes for her while we're gone?"

"Again, that's what we have Anton for. You're running out of excuses here, Barnes."

"We can't hold off on the mission any longer, Buck. We gotta go," Steve insisted.

"We're wheels up at 0900, spend time with your girl while you can," Tony said definitively, shoving his hands into the pockets of his expensive suit and walking out of the room.

Bucky watched him go with a frown, turning to look at Steve who was giving him a sympathetic look. "I know you worry about her, but she'll be fine. We've put an excellent plan in place for her. Anton is going to stay here in the compound with her while we're gone for added protection and he'll be with her every second she's out there. _She will be okay, Bucky."_

Bucky wanted to believe Steve, he really did. Steve had never steered him wrong before, but he couldn't shake the feeling in his gut that leaving her wasn't right, or his distrust of Anton. He didn't like it and he wouldn't like it, but Tony was right. He was running out of excuses. And the mission _was_ important. Bucky knew there was valuable information stored in the archives at the Hydra base they wanted to infiltrate, information that could be the key to finally destroying Hydra. He had managed to stall for three months, three more months of bliss of living with Jade, but he knew it was time to go.

"Fine, I'll be ready at 0900."

* * *

To Jade's surprise she found herself in standing in Target in the family planning aisle, staring at a wall of pregnancy tests. She was fresh off from work, still in her scrubs, clutching her messenger bag tightly to her body with one white knuckled hand, and wondering why there were so many damn options.

She chewed the nail on her thumb worriedly and began to doubt her decision to buy one. Yes, she was three days late, and her boobs were killing her, and she felt unusually irritable and tired; and while she usually ignored a period being three days late, something that had happened to her before and ended up being due to stress, all she could think about was the fact that her boyfriend had super sperm. They no longer used condoms, they hadn't in months, and she was on the pill, and she took it faithfully...most of the time. But there had been two times in the past three months where she had missed a day or took it later than usual, usually due to her crazy work schedule or forgetting to set her alarm to take it. Something she was now kicking herself for.

She had briefly considered telling Bucky about the possibility that she could be pregnant, but didn't want to worry or scare him. They had barely been together a year, they were now living together and he was already worried about the fact that there was a terrorist in the country who had kidnapped her before and was probably planning to do so again. Plus, did he even want kids? She decided to take a test on her own and talk to him after she knew the result, there was no need to worry him for nothing. He was already on edge, hovering around her and clingy, and avoiding going on a vital mission at all costs. This would likely make things worse.

"Jade, are you alright?"

She jumped at the sound of Anton's voice in her ear, making the woman who was standing in the aisle with her inspecting a box of tampons look at her with an arched eyebrow. Jade smiled apologetically and embarrassedly. She was still getting used to the comm.

"I'm fine," she whispered in a low voice.

"You said five minutes. It's been ten. I am just checking in," Anton replied.

It had taken ten minutes to convince Anton to wait at the front of the store for her, not wanting him to see what she was buying. Anton didn't like the idea, Tony, Steve, and Bucky demanding that she never leave his sight except for bathroom breaks of course, and even then he stood directly outside of the door after inspecting the bathroom first. After three months she was still getting used to him being a constant shadow behind her, just like the comm she was forced to wear whenever she left the compound.

"I am heading to the cashier now. Meet you in front," she answered.

She grabbed one of the boxes, one that was digital and easy to read with early detection and fast and accurate results and went to the cashier to pay. She used self check out, fearing judgement from the cashier, and hid the test in her messenger bag before going to meet Anton, who was waiting diligently near the Starbucks right where she had left him; standing out in his all black clothes and intense posture. His eyes swept over her as she approached, no doubt taking in her lack of a shopping bag. She tried to keep from looking guilty.

"They didn't have what I needed…." she lied.

Anton's gaze was dubious. "Yet, you went to the cashier?" He asked.

"To see if they had what I need and they don't. Can we go now?"

"Yes, where is our next destination?"

"Home. I'm tired."

She was at the compound twenty minutes later, relieving Anton of his duty, telling him she would see him tomorrow as usual. Bucky should have been busy training with Sam and Steve as he usually was around the time she got off, leaving their room empty to take the test in peace. She was stepping off the elevator and hurrying to their room when a voice stopped her.

"Hey Jade."

She froze at the sound of Natasha's voice, turning to find the red headed Avenger lounging on the sofa in the common area, a book propped up for reading in her lap and a steaming mug in her hands. Jade forced a smile on her face, trying to hide the guilt that she felt for no reason, from her face. She and Natasha had been getting to know each other more since she had moved in and were quickly close friends, something that Iris had admitted to being jealous of already, claiming to be replaced. Natasha welcomed not being the only female living at the Compound and Jade was happy for her company.

Except for at that exact moment.

"Oh hey Natasha."

"I'm finally reading that book you suggested," she smiled and held the book up.

"Oh that's good."

Natasha frowned, her eyes taking her in from head to toe slowly. "Are you alright?"

"Yes, I'm just not feeling well. I was on my way to lie down. I will catch up with you later?"

Natasha regarded concernedly, but nodded. "Okay, if you need anything…"

"No, I am fine," Jade answered quickly. "I just think I am a little tired is all. Thank you though."

She escaped Natasha's scrutinizing gaze heading for the bathroom in her and Bucky's shared bedroom. She had chosen a box that had three tests inside and she took them all, lining them up neatly on the counter after peeing on them. The tests claimed results in three minutes and she paced the bathroom, chewing on the nail of her thumb again, while she waited.

A baby. She could possibly be having a baby. A baby with a semi stable hundred year old man who once said he "maybe" liked kids. She had seen him interact with kids when he had joined her and Iriswhen they took Iris's nephews to the park, he had happily played with them and showed them his metal arm, answering all their questions letting them ooh and aww over it. But playing well with others kids and having one of your own was two totally different things. She wanted kids, she always had. It was part of the reason she worked in pediatrics, but she had expected to be married first and to have a house and to be with a man who was sure he wanted children. Bucky was great, she loved him, she loved being with him, but he was also a medicated PTSD sufferer, who was highly desired by a secret terrorist organization who also had her on their radar. Aside from whether or not Bucky wanted kids, just how much danger would that child be in?

Her chest began to feel tight the more she thought about things. She felt like a panic attack was coming on. She hadn't had one in months, not with everything going so well including her therapy sessions with Dr. Lewis. She shut her eyes, sank to the floor to sit against the wall, closed her eyes and took deep breaths.

 _This is fine. This is fine. This is fine._

Maybe she wasn't cut out to be a mother either, she was so worried about Bucky and his conditions and stability when she wasn't stable at all times either. She still had panic attacks and she was in therapy herself. Sure she worked with kids and enjoyed them, but did that really qualify her to be a good mother?

Also what the hell would her parents think?

She lost track of how much time she sat there, staring at the wall, thinking of all the reasons this was a bad thing if she _were pregnant._ The bathroom door opened and she startled looking up to see a puzzled Bucky standing over her, shirtless and dripping with sweat.

"Sugar, you alright?" He asked in concern. "Natasha said you were acting weird."

"I-I'm fine!" She blurted jumping to her feet and moving in front of the counter where the tests still sat waiting to be read, trying to hide them from view.

Bucky arched an eyebrow. He of course looked as though he didn't believe her.

"I am fine," she repeated as he continued to watch her with a disbelieving eyes. "I was just... just…about to take a shower."

He took a step into the bathroom and shut the door behind him, crossing his arms over his chest. "What is it, Sugar? You can tell me."

She hesitated. She hadn't wanted to tell him, not until she was sure, why cause stress over something that might not be happening? She tried to hide the worry and guilt from her face and put on a smile. It felt forced. She prayed it didn't look that way.

"Really. I am fine. I am just tired. I was feeling a little sick, but it passed and now I am going to take a shower and lay down for a bit."

Bucky still looked skeptical, but she was thankful when his arms dropped and his face softened. "Okay you get some rest, I am gonna go make something to eat. You tell me if you need anything?"

"Of course," she nodded.

"After you rest there's something I want to talk to you about," Bucky said hesitantly.

 _Uh oh._ "Okay," she replied with a nod. "We can talk over dinner tonight?"

"Sure thing."

He leaned in for a kiss and she offered him a quick peck, making sure to keep blocking the tests on the counter. She maintained her smile until he slipped out of the bathroom leaving her alone. She let out a breath she didn't realize that she had been holding and turned back to the tests. She sucked in another breath and steeled her nerves before picking up one turning it over. She saw the word in the little screen immediately.

 _Pregnant._


	6. The Good News

After a panic attack and thirty minute pep talk, resulting in a total of forty five minutes in the bathroom, Jade found some sense of calmness. The panic attack had nearly knocked the wind out of her, sent her heart into a rapid and chaotic beat, and she had worried that F.R.I.D.A.Y. was going to alert someone that she was in trouble. The AI thankfully hadn't, despite asking, and Jade managed to calm herself with breathing techniques and tricks taught to her by Dr. Lewis. The thirty minute pep talk that followed mainly consisted of repeating the phrases ' _you can do this'_ and ' _Okay, so you're pregnant, this is fine, no big deal'_ to herself between random rehearsals of the various ways she could tell Bucky. In the end she couldnt decide.

Instead she decided to go to the next best thing. The person who knew Bucky best, sometimes better than Bucky himself, and found herself in the common area where Steve, Sam, and Bucky were currently sitting, gulping down water and eating something out of bowls. Natasha was still in her place on the couch, reading a book, her mug on the coffee table. Jade approached the kitchen table stiffly, four sets of eyes turning to look at her.

"Hey, Sugar," Bucky greeted. "Feeling better?"

Jade nodded, swallowed the lump in her throat and tried to smile. Again, she worried that it looked forced. "Yes, I am, but...Steven, can I talk to you please?"

Bucky's face fell. Steve blinked at her in surprise. Sam arched an eyebrow.

" _Steven_?" Natasha commented with a smirk from the couch.

"Am I in trouble?" Steve asked playfully with a smile on his face, though there was worry in his eyes.

"It's important. In private. _Please_ ," Jade gave Steve a look, a look that said 'stop playing around and realize that I serious and come talk to me' while nodding to her shared bedroom with Bucky.

An awkward silence fell over them all, all eyes turning to Steve to see his reaction. Steve looked momentarily confused, glancing warily at Bucky whose gaze had turned intense and was moving between her and Steve in a steady back and forth motion. Steve hesitated for just a moment longer, to really set in the awkwardness, and then slid from his chair, rising to his height.

"Uh, sure Jade, let's talk," he said with nod and another glance at Bucky, who was sporting a frown now.

Jade turned on her heel, expecting Steve to follow, but stopping at the sound of Bucky's voice. "Should I be concerned?" He called through clenched teeth.

Steve said nothing, just looked to Jade to answer, he clearly had no idea what the hell she wanted to talk about. Jade did her best to put on an disarming smile. "It's a...surprise," she nodded. It was a surprise indeed.

Bucky didn't bother to hide the skepticism from his face. He didn't say anything, just nodded once and Jade didn't bother to explain further, for fear of ruining things. She lead the way back to their bedroom, beckoning Steve to follow her in, shutting the door behind herself. Steve stood stiffly near the door and she began to pace, feeling her heart start to race once more.

"Jade, what's going on?" He asked with an expectant look.

"I'm pregnant."

The words came from Jade's mouth before Steve had finished the last syllable of 'on'. Steve's eyes widened, his face falling, and his mouth going slack. Jade wrung her hands nervously, waited quietly for Steve's reaction, her mind racing through all of the possibilities of how he would react.

"You're pregnant?" He repeated. He needed another confirmation, just to be sure he heard her correctly.

She nodded, numbly.

To her surprise his face broke into the largest smile she had ever seen adorn his handsome face. He approached her, placing his hands on her shoulders and beaming down at her.

"Oh my god, Jade, this is…" he shook his head and hugged her tightly. "Bucky is going to be so happy."

Jade hesitated, pulling her head back to look him in the eye. "He is?"

"Yes, of course, why wouldn't he be?" Steve frowned.

"Because, when I asked him if he wanted kids when we first went out to eat, he said 'maybe'."

Steve huffed. "Jade, that was a long time ago. And that was during a time when Bucky was very uncertain of his future. But he isn't anymore. He loves you. _You're_ his future. And he's going to be thrilled to be a dad."

Jade's heart swelled with Steve's words, a renewed sense of calm about her unexpected situation coming over her, but there was still a sense of doubt with it. And it currently was trying to wrap its way around her heart. She loved Bucky, and she knew he loved her, everyone did, but there was still the timing of it all, with a threat looming over their heads and how soon it seemed. It felt like there had never been a time when she wasn't with Bucky, but in reality they had only been together for a year.

"It doesn't seem… soon?" She asked unsure, her shoulders coming up in a shrug.

Steve hesitated, considering it, then he shrugged too. "These things happen. And it's a _good_ thing," he assured, withdrawing from her and giving her shoulder his signature squeeze.

Jade nodded, trying to let his words soak in, wiping at her watery eyes with the back of her hand. "Sorry, I don't mean to be emotional."

Steve smiled. "Don't be. I hear pregnant women get emotional."

" _Pregnant_?"

It was Bucky's voice, higher than normal, with a little squeak to it, full of surprise. In their touching moment they hadn't heard the bedroom door open quietly, Bucky was an ex-assassin after all, he was stealthier than every single Avenger on the team. Jade nearly jumped right out of her skin, her and Steve turning to find Bucky standing in the open doorway, shock written all over his face, and to make matters worse Sam and Natasha popped up behind him with matching faces of shock, having heard Bucky's surprise exclamation.

Jade hadn't wanted to tell everyone, at least not yet, she had heard that it wasn't a good idea to tell people till the second trimester because there was always a risk of a miscarriage which significantly decreased once you hit the second trimester. And after telling Bucky- and Steve- she wouldn't haven't told anyone until she was at least 12 weeks. It would have been her and Bucky's- and Steve's- little secret.

This was not how she planned to tell Bucky, she wanted it to be a sweet and intimate moment, maybe she'd even go on Pinterest and do something totally cheesy that would make Iris roll her eyes. But the cat was out of the pregnant bag now.

Bucky's wide blue eyes were trained on her, lips parted, body stiff, his metal hand still gripping the doorknob. The silence that fell over them was almost deafening. Jade's heart stammered in her chest when she met his gaze, his eyebrows nearly touching his hairline.

"Umm, Steve can you give us a minute?" Jade asked with a worried glance at Steve. "Please."

Steve nodded wordlessly and made a quick exit, but not before stopping to touch Bucky's shoulder for a moment. Bucky let him pass without taking his eyes off Jade, shutting the door on Steve and Natasha and Sam who still looked surprised. Jade's heart was still in a fevered race, her body tending when the door shut with a small thud. She didn't know how Bucky was going to react, Steve had said he would be happy, but perhaps Steve was wrong about his best friend for the first time.

"You're… pregnant?" Bucky repeated, his voice not as high this time, it was almost calm. The hints of shock and, if Jade was being honest, fear.

"Yes," she nodded in answer, eyes feeling watery again. She wiped at them again and pushed curls out of her face, squaring her shoulders. "I'm pregnant."

There were a few seconds of stunned silence that felt like it went on for hours and then Bucky was moving, walking quickly toward her and wrapping his arms around her. He held her to him tightly, face buried in her neck, his breath warm on her skin. Jade felt momentarily surprised, but melted into his touch, holding herself to him and sighing in relief.

"So… you're happy then?" She asked timidly.

Bucky lifted his head from her neck, eyeing her with a watery gaze that made her freeze. There was an amount of raw emotion in his eyes that she had never seen before. His hand came up to caress her cheek, a pearly white smile beaming down at her.

"This is the best news I've ever heard, Sugar," he said brushing his thumb across her cheek. "I never thought…" he trailed off shaking his head. "I never thought I'd hear news like that. Ever."

Jade was relieved, she was happy that he was happy, but there was still that worry, that fear. "You're not… scared?" She asked looking up at him with a voice full of uncertainty.

"Sugar, I'm terrified," he laughed. "I've never been more scared of anything, but I have you. We're in this together."

Jade's stomach was filled with butterflies and her heart was fluttering at his words. A smile touched her lips. "How do you always know the right thing to say, Barnes?"

He smirked and brought her close again. She rested her head against his chest and sighed contentedly, if he was happy then she was happy. They could figure it all out together just as they had with everything else. They would make it work.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" She asked as she remembered what he had mentioned before.

Bucky tensed against her, pulling back to look down at her. His face fell as whatever it was dawned on him. "I'm leaving tomorrow. For the mission. We're wheels up at 0900. But I can't go. Not now. I can't leave you like this, not when you're in this… condition."

Jade arched an eyebrow. "Condition?"

"I'm not leaving you alone and pregnant-," he started shaking his head adamantly.

Jade took his face in her hands, forcing eye contact. "James, you've been preparing for this mission for months. It's _important_. Me and the baby will be just fine. We aren't alone, we have Anton."

Bucky scowled, shaking his head again and stepping backward from her. "I barely trust him with you without you being pregnant. I trust him even less now. Steve and Tony aren't going to like it, but I'm not going."

"Listen to me," Jade demanded, his blue eyes snapped to hers immediately, a hint of surprise in them. "This mission is important. It's the one that could be the key to stopping Hydro right?"

"Hydra," Bucky corrected.

"Hydra. Yeah, that. Now answer the question."

He sighed. "Yes, Sugar, it could be the key to stopping Hydra."

"Then it's all the more reason for you to go. If we stop Hydra then you can stop looking over your shoulder and the world will be a better place for our child right?"

Bucky hesitated and Jade knew immediately she had gotten through to him. She knew he'd want nothing more than to protect her and the baby, and if going on the mission meant doing that then he would. Even if it meant leaving her.

"We'll be fine," she said taking his hand and pulling him close again. "You go kick Hydra ass and then come back and freak out with me over the fact that we're going to be parents."

Bucky smirked at those words, his metal hand coming to rest below her belly button. He stared down at his hand, his thumb brushing back and forth over the material of her shirt, leaving her to wonder just what was going through the super soldiers mind.

"We're going to be parents," he repeated looking into her eyes. " _I'm_ going to be a dad."

Her hand came over his and she nodded. "Yes you are."

* * *

Bucky couldn't sleep at all. He had been lying in bed beside Jade for two hours. She had fallen asleep almost as soon as her head hit the pillow and Bucky had found himself staring at her as she slumbered. He had scooted closer to her, careful not to wake her, brushing her curls away from her face before resting his palm against her bare abdomen and marveling at the fact that his child was growing inside of her.

The moment he had heard her say she was pregnant something inside of him had snapped. A fatherly instinct that he thought had been snuffed out by Hydra long ago, along with the desire to have a family, turned on inside of him like a flip of a light switch. He saw Jade in a whole new glorious light. As a woman that he not only loved, but as a woman carrying a cargo that was more precious to him than anything ever had or would be. A child he thought would never exist.

Sure he had fantasized and dreamed of settling down with a woman, Jade, and starting a family. As always there had been a small voice inside of him that had said it would never happen, that Jade would grow tired of him, that she would fall out of love with him and move on with her life with a normal guy. That this past year of his life was temporary, a small moment of happiness, that he would lose it and never experience it again. But it was no longer a dream, it was happening.

He made a silent promise that night, to his child and to Jade, to love and protect them always. To make sure that as long as he breathed no harm would come to them. That he would be the best man that he could be for the both of them. Because now the new voice had a different script. One that said he didn't deserve them, that he couldn't keep this safe and inevitably something would happen to them. And it would be his fault.

"Go to sleep, Barnes," Jade groaned, stirring in her sleep. She was on her back with a mane of curls smothering the pillow beneath her head, one arm tucked under head, the other resting on her chest. She had always been a wild sleeper, Bucky having woken up to a shot to his ribs by her many a times, she also hogged the covers. But he couldn't imagine sleeping without her now.

He smiled. She knew him so well. "I didn't mean to wake you."

Jade's eyelids fluttered as she fought the sleep and brown eyes opened to find his. "What's on your mind?" She yawned.

Bucky shook his head and circled her belly button with his thumb, watching the contrast of his pale skin against her honey brown skin. He didn't want to tell her his worries and fears, he knew she'd comfort him, she always did, always saying just the right thing and placing a gentle kiss on his lips or forehead. But he had to be strong now. He was going to be a father. He needed to be the comforter.

"It's nothing, Sugar," he lied. "I'm just worried about leaving you tomorrow."

She licked her dry lips and gave him a look, one that had 'didn't we go over this already?' written all over her face. He thought she might say it, but she didn't. Instead she wrapped her arms around him and pulled him to her with a half sigh and half laugh.

"You're such a worry wart."

He chuckled and watched her yawn again, yawning himself at the contagious action. He settled himself against her, she snuggled and wiggled until she found comfort and sighed again contentedly. He closed her eyes and called to sleep, knowing that when Tony said 'wheels up at 0900' he meant it. He put his worries and fears to bed, telling that small voice to shut the hell up for once.

The next morning came a little too quickly for his liking, his alarm waking him at 7:30 am. He reluctantly slid from the bed, leaving a sleeping Jade behind to shower, dress, and pack. She awoke when he was done packing, to find him sitting on the edge of the bed lacing up his boots.

"Goodmorning," she whispered as she sat up, her voice heavy with sleep.

"Goodmorning," he said turning to look over his shoulder at her. "Don't get out of this bed for atleast another hour. I didn't mean to wake you. You need your rest."

Jade frowned at him. "But you're leaving. I should at least make you breakfast and walk you to the quinjet."

Bucky shook his head, finishing up his boot and rising to his feet to walk to her side of the bed. "You don't have to do any of that, I'm not hungry and it's almost time for me to go," he sat down beside her. "You don't have to walk me out there. I'll be happier if you stay in bed."

"I've slept enough and I'm not going to let my boyfriend leave without me walking him out and saying goodbye," she responded stubbornly.

He smiled in spite of her stubbornness and leaned in to kiss her. "We can say goodbye right here, Sugar. You need your rest, you got a kid growing in you."

She rolled her eyes and hugged. "Don't start treating me like a walking incubator. This isn't the early 1900s. I'm still a functioning adult, I just happen to have a being in my uterus."

"I get that, I do. But this might not be an ordinary baby you're carrying. It's dad is a super soldier and very well might have super serum in its DNA. That along with all the other stuff Hydra put in me, the serum and the drugs…" he paused and shook his head. "I just want to make sure you're okay. That you're both okay. Will you go see a doctor soon? Just to get a check up."

The look on Jade's face told him that thought hadn't occurred to her. But it had occurred to Bucky. It was one of the things that had kept him up the night before, he worried how the serum had affected his DNA as well as all the other emotion suppressing drugs that had given him to help keep him docile and compliant in addition to the brainwashing. Yes, it had been a couple years since he was freed from Hydras control, but he still worried that it could have some effect on his child. If the baby was affected by the super serum it could take a toll on Jade, and he didn't want that either.

Her face softened and she took his hand. "I'll go see a doctor," she promised.

"Thank you. And just take it easy okay. I know, I know it's the 21st century and you're a capable working woman, but… just take it easy okay?" He asked.

"I will," she agreed. "And because you insist I'll stay in bed instead of walking you to the quinjet like a good girlfriend."

He smiled. "Good."

"Now kiss me like you won't see me for a week," she demanded pointing to her lips.

He did. The kiss quickly turning into something much more than just a goodbye kiss. It got heated and intense, and before he knew it he was shedding his tactical gear and her pajamas and making love to her on the bed. He was gentle with her, though it was hurried, it was nearing 9:00 am and he knew Steve would be coming to get him soon. He got her off three times before he couldn't hold back himself any longer, cumming inside of her with a long grunt. He rushed to clean himself and her up, redressing in his clothes and gear as she dozed off once more on the bed. He covered her with the comforter, brushed her curls from her face and kissed her temple.

"I love you, Sugar," he whispered in her ear.

She moaned in her sleep, shifting just a bit before settling back into the pillow. He watched her for a few more seconds, finding it hard to fight the desire to stay with her, but ultimately he picked up his bag and left the room quietly just as Steve was approaching the door.

"Morning, Bucky. Ready to go?"

"Not at all, but I'm coming anyway," he sighed.

"Jade is going to be fine. And so is the baby," Steve assured.

Bucky put his faith in Steve as he always did, and nodded following him to the elevator. The doors opened to reveal Anton standing inside, he greeted them both with a friendly smile, one that Bucky didn't return. He didn't bother to hide his dislike of the bodyguard, despite the fact that Jade constantly scolded him for it.

"Good Morning Captain Rogers, Sergeant Barnes," Anton nodded at them both, stepping off the elevator.

"Jade isn't up yet. She needs her rest so don't bother her," Bucky ordered.

"Wouldn't dream of it. I'll wait in the common room until she gets up. Anything else?" Anton asked, his voice dripping with politeness. It made Bucky want to punch him.

Steve looked at Bucky expectantly, no doubt expecting him to share the good news with Anton about Jade's pregnancy. But Bucky shook his head, stepping onto the elevator.

"Just know that if anything happens to my girlfriend while I'm gone, you're a dead man."

Steve's face fell, his eyes darting to Anton who was still smiling. "Jade is in good hands," Anton assures.

Steve stepped onto the elevator and Bucky pressed the button leaving the doors to close on Anton. "You're never going to trust him are you?" Steve commented.

Bucky shook his head. "Never."

* * *

Anton waited until he was sure that the Avengers and Bucky had gone, the unmistakable sound of the quinjet taking off letting him know. He walked carefully through the fourth floor, stopping at Jade's bedroom door and listening for sounds inside. When he heard none he opened the door quietly, peeking inside to see her curled up on the bed fast asleep.

He shut the door just as quietly and pulled a flip phone from his pocket, one that's untraceable unlike his other phone that he knows is being monitored by Tony's AI, given that Tony made him surrender it for a scan after being hired. They were being extra cautious. He opened the texting messaging application and typed a short message quickly.

 _They're gone._


	7. Baby Barnes is Doing Just Fine

"Thank you so much for seeing me, Dr. Cho. And for squeezing me in so early. I know that you have far more important work to be doing, but given the...special circumstances of this pregnancy I didn't know who else to turn too."

Jade wrung her hands nervously as she sat on the exam table in the medical wing of the compound. She was naked under a paper gown and had already peed in a cup and had her blood drawn and her vitals taken. Dr. Cho was the head of the medical wing at the compound, though she was usually busy making award winning medical breakthroughs in biosciences; leaving the lower medical staff to deal with the employees or soldiers who came in for scrapes and bruises or other mundane issues that arose during training. Jade didn't know who else to turn to, she knew plenty of Ob/gyn's through work, but given that she was pregnant with a super soldiers baby, and she had no idea what that would entail, she went to someone who she knew she could trust and keep her condition _discreet_.

Dr. Cho smiled at her, looking up from the tablet that currently showed Jades complete medical history and the results of her urine and blood test. "It's my pleasure, Jade," Dr. Cho replied. "I completely understand why you're concerned. There's never been a baby born to a super soldier and it makes sense that you are worried and have questions."

That was an understatement, she had been wracked with worry since her discussion with Bucky about all his fears and that had been three days ago. Three days since he had left, three days since she had heard from him, three days of her trying to live without him while simultaneously coming to terms with how much their lives had intertwined. Patrick was a semi famous plastic surgeon, who would travel frequently to meet high end clients and do surgeries in other states, he would leave for weeks at a time sometimes, and she had been just fine without his presence. In fact most of the time she had felt relieved and _free_ , savoring the break from him. With Bucky it wasn't the same. He was constantly on her mind, despite her picking up extra shifts and trying to keep herself busy and distracted at work, and she was having trouble sleeping at night, especially with the living quarters floor being so quiet with everyone gone. She missed him more than she anticipated, almost to the point that she would cry whenever she thought of him, something she thought was absolutely ridiculous, but blamed on the pregnancy hormones.

And in addition to her worrying about and missing Bucky, she worried about the child growing inside of her. Worried about how the super serum might have affected Bucky's sperm and just what that meant for their baby. And what that meant for her body to be carrying it.

"Your urine and blood pregnancy test results were both positive so that means the home pregnancy test was accurate," Dr. Cho continued looking down at her tablet. "And according to your last period you should be about 5 weeks and 4 days, but your HCG levels are significantly higher than the normal range for a pregnant woman at your gestation."

Jade felt her stomach sink. "Oh?"

"That's no cause for concern though, though it can mean a number of things. You could be further along than you think we are or you're carrying multiples or your body just produces a lot of HCG."

Jade felt her eyes widen, she cleared her throat. "I'm sorry did you say multiples?"

Dr. Cho smiled. "Yes, there is that possibility, but we won't know until we take a look. I want to keep an eye on your levels just to be safe also. If you're ready I would like to take a peek inside now?"

Jade nodded, lying back on the exam table. Dr. Cho wheeled the ultrasound machine closer, pulling out the stirrups and guiding Jade's feet into them. Jade took a deep breath, she had seen plenty of ultrasounds and had even done a couple of them herself on pregnant coworkers who wanted a peek of their little one during downtime at work. She knew it wouldn't be painful at all, but still she tensed and worried about what the ultrasound might reveal. God help her if there was more than one baby, she was barely used to the idea of just one baby.

"Now given how early you are we might not be able to see anything, but I don't want you to panic. The heart doesn't start beating till about 6-7 weeks. So just relax for me," Dr. Cho reminded her. "You're going to feel the wand, maybe some pressure, but no pain."

Jade nodded wordlessly, her fingers digging into the exam table when she felt the wand ease inside of her. The room was immediately filled with the sound of a rapidly beating heart. She saw Dr. Cho's eyes widen a bit in surprise, a nervous chuckle escaping her lips, before she lowered the volume and turned the screen to face Jade.

"Well there is certainly a strong heartbeat and I can see why your HCG levels are higher than usual," Dr. Cho motioned to the screen, pointing out the outline of her baby.

Jade did not specialize in obstetrics or gynecology, she wasn't very familiar with prenatal ultrasounds, but she knew her baby was bigger than a 5 week and 4 day old fetus who would hardly be developed at that point.

"According to this you're more likely 7-8 weeks," Dr. Cho explained.

Jade frowned, sitting up on her elbows. Her eyes felt watery as she stared at the screen seeing the life that she and Bucky had created growing inside of her. But there was still some confusion. She was certain that she'd had a period last month, it wasnt possible for her to be that far along.

"I-I don't understand. I had a period last month."

"Well there are two possibilities," Dr. Cho explained. "One being that you had a period despite being pregnant, while rare, it isn't unheard of. The second being that your child is in fact affected by the super serum and is growing at an accelerated rate because of it."

"What does that mean for me?" She asked worriedly. "Can my body… handle that?"

Dr. Cho hesitated, looking between the screen and her, a hint of worry in her eyes. "I will have to run some tests to know more. I don't want to worry you until then."

"Tests like?"

"Ideally I'd perform an amniocentesis. That would give me the most information, but there is a chance of miscarriage. And I wouldn't be able to perform it until 15 weeks, so take some time to think it over, discuss it with Sergeant Barnes and let me know what you decide. In the meantime I'll draw more blood and perform what tests I can and I'd like to put you in the complete body scanner to get a clear cut picture of your current health level so that we can detect any changes. I think I'd like to see you weekly until we have a good idea of what's going on."

Jade took a deep breath and nodded. "Sounds good."

Jade left the medical exam wing an hour later after having more blood drawn and a body scan. Dr. Cho described her current health as "great" and advised her to start taking prenatal vitamins immediately as well as make sure to maintain a healthy diet. She then sent Jade on her way with a photo of her baby.

Dr. Cho had given her plenty to potentially worry about, but Jade tried to focus instead on being happy and excited about her pregnancy, at least until she knew for sure there was a reason to worry. She honed in on that excitement and wished that Bucky had been present for the ultrasound. She did the next best thing and took a picture of the ultrasound, using a photo editor app to draw a heart around the baby, just so Bucky would be able to see it, and sent it to him in a text with the words ' **Baby Barnes is doing just fine** '. She knew he might not see it until he was on his way back, but it felt good to send it.

Anton was sitting at the bar of the kitchen island when she returned to the living quarters, dressed in his standout black on black and reading the newspaper. He sensed her presence before she said a word, not bothering to look up from his paper.

"How was your appointment?"

"It was fine. Thank you for not following me there." She had told him that it was women's health appointment and argued that since it was within the compound walls she didn't need a bodyguard to accompany her. He hadn't liked the idea, but he had relented.

"You're welcome, but if Stark asks you never left my sight. Also I've brought you something."

Jade's face brightened a bit as she approached the island. "Is that so bodyguard? What is it?"

He nodded towards the opposite counter and Jade's eyes followed, seeing a steaming Starbucks cup and goodie bag, that she prayed had a blueberry muffin inside because she was really craving one at the moment. Upon inspection, her prayers had been answered.

"Grande white mocha with extra whip and a shot right?" Anton said with a grin as she turned to look back at him in surprise.

"You are correct bodyguard, how did you know?"

He huffed. "As many times as you've dragged me to Starbucks during the last three months if I didn't at least know what you got to drink each time I wouldn't be a very observant bodyguard now would I?"

"You are the _best_ bodyguard," Jade sighed picking up the cup and taking a long drink that had her groaning in delight. She knew she'd have to ease up on the caffeine soon because of the pregnancy, but she wasn't going to waste a kind gesture. "Also thank you."

He shrugged nonchalantly and flipped the page of his newspaper. "No problem."

Over the course of the three months that he had been employed as her bodyguard they had developed a friendship of sorts. Bucky hated it, insisted she shouldn't trust him, told her to keep him at a distance, but she did trust Steve and Tony's judgement. If they felt that Anton was trustworthy, then she would believe so until he proved otherwise. It felt weird to try and act like he didn't exist as Bucky wanted, especially when he followed her around every moment that she wasn't in the compound. It only seemed right to try and get to know him a little bit, to at least establish a rapport. So far she had learned that he was a single guy with no kids, he also had no siblings and his parents were deceased. He had lived and breathed the military and now that he was 'out' he needed something else to live and breathe, which is why he had taken the job protecting her. She admittedly felt a little sad for him, he had no one and nothing to live for except a job. It made her want to befriend him all the more.

"You're going to be late for work," Anton chided as his eyes scanned the newspaper.

Jade rolled her eyes, but sipped her coffee faster. He was right, if she kept it up she would be late. "No I am not, I just need to grab my comm and my bag."

Anton made a show of looking down at his watch. "Better hurry."

"Don't make me fire you," she playfully warned, running back for her room to grab her things.

Anton chuckled. "You can't. I don't work for you."

She made it to work right on time, leaving Anton in the waiting room and hurrying to the staff break room to put her things in her locker. She was working in the wing for terminally ill children, a job that brought her a bittersweet feeling every day. She loved seeing the kids and putting smiles on kids faces, but knowing that their prognosis made her sad. It made her work harder to make sure that their time at the hospital was at least a little enjoyable. Her shifts usually went by fast being that she enjoyed her work. She was in the break room taking a fifteen when her phone rang in her pocket. Her heart jumped at the thought of it being Bucky, but it wasn't, it was Iris.

"Hey," she answered.

"Well hello there my pregnant friend," Iris greeted cheerily.

Jade had told her of her 'condition' the day that Bucky left, over lunch. Iris had surprisingly been thrilled. She had assumed that her friend would tell her that she was throwing her life away, that babies were too much work, that she was too young to settle down, all things that Iris had stated before when Jade mentioned wanting kids, but it had been the exact opposite. Iris was being annoyingly supportive and excited.

"You can just call me 'Jade' still you know..."

"Where's the fun in that, preggers?"

Jade rolled her eyes. "Is there a reason for your call?"

"Yes, picture this: me, you, some popcorn, the newest season of Stranger Things, and the couch at the Avengers compound-which I imagine is extremely comfy- tonight after work. Oh and your hot bodyguard of course. Thoughts?"

Jade smirked. She and Iris hadn't spent a lot of time together lately and with Bucky being gone, she could use some time with her best friend.

"That sounds lovely. I get off at 8:00. Also stay away from my bodyguard."

Iris gave an overly loud and fake gasp. "Wow. Is that what you think of me? I would _never._ "

"You would. You really would. I have to go now, but I'll see you at the compound at 8:30. You can stay the night it'll be like a sleepover."

"Ooooh yes, that sounds great. I can snoop through Thor's underwear drawer."

"No. No, we will not be doing that."

"Fine," Iris huffed. "Quick question, Is the bodyguard sleeping over as well?"

"Goodbye Iris."

With something to look forward too after work her shift went by a little faster than usual. She was standing at the nurses station, charting and chatting with a few of her coworkers when she heard the hurried footsteps of the familiar security guards running through the area. She watched them go with a puzzled frown, the pediatric floor hardly ever saw any action, save for the occasional teen acting out or a disgruntled parent who raised their voice. The security guards were basically there for show, seeing them running on their floor was unusual. Especially since she hadn't heard a code being called.

"Jade, what's your location?" It was Anton's voice in her comm, startling her. She would never get used to the stupid comm.

"Pediatric floor, nurses station 2," she answered lowly, tucking her chin down and glancing frantically between her coworkers who thankfully hadn't noticed the change in her behavior. "Why? What's wrong?"

"Get to the elevator. _**Now**_ ," she froze, her fingers hovering over the keyboard she was typing on. She didn't like the sound of his voice, normally it was so calm no matter the situation, but at that moment it had a subtle desperate urgency to it.

"What is it?"

"Just do as I say. Take the middle elevator, go. Now."

She hesitated looking at her coworkers and wondering if she should tell them something was going on, but not wanting to incite panic. Besides she didn't know exactly _what_ or _if_ anything was really going on. Instead she politely excused herself, trying to walk to the elevator and not run in a panic. She reached the elevators, pushing the button repeatedly.

The doors opened a second later revealing Anton who was alone in the elevator. He said nothing as he grabbed her by the arm and yanked her in simultaneously pressing the button for the doors to close repeatedly before pressing the button for the top floor.

"Anton?" She asked, her heart starting to race as she watched him pull his firearm from its holster and turn the safety off.

Anton touched the comm in his ear. "I have Summer. We're in the elevator going to the roof for extraction."

 _Summer? Extraction?_ The doors to the elevator opened revealing the floor below the roof where he was apparently taking her for extraction. He reached for her arm, but she yanked it out of his reach, feeling wary. Everything Bucky had warned her about running through her head. _Don't trust him._

"Anton, what the hell is going on?" She demanded holding herself. "I'm not moving until you tell me."

He took a deep breath, giving her an impatient exasperated look. He opened his mouth to respond, but a loud and deafening boom echoed nearby, rocking the building around them, knocking Jade off her feet.

* * *

"Everyone has their orders, suit up, we move out in twenty."

The team nodded to Bucky's command, dispersing to prep for the mission, leaving him in a moment of solitude. Something he hadn't had since they arrived three days ago. If it was Steve, doing his usual hovering and reassuring, it was Tony to insist that they go over the plan for the eighth, ninth, and tenth time, or Natasha or Sam to come and try to make small talk which he had no interest in. He knew what they all were trying to do, they were trying to keep his mind off of the fact that he had left his pregnant girlfriend behind with a bodyguard he didn't trust and a foreign terrorist lurking that had a hard on for her.

He put on a easily held facade, acting as though the mission was the most important thing, because at the moment it technically was. He had to stay focused, there were lives dependent on him. The Hydra base they intended to take down was the largest, and while the Avengers were all quite skilled and talented in their own ways, they were still outnumbered and in unfamiliar territory, which is why they had spent the first three days just doing reconnaissance. Bucky refused to let anything happen on his watch and if that meant putting Jade and the baby at the back of his mind, he would do that.

Yet in his moment of solitude they came rushing to the forefront of his brain and he withdrew his phone thinking of calling her. He wanted to hear her first, to hear her say everything would be okay, and tell her that he loved her one more time before he headed into the lion's den. However Stark had forbid any outside communication, unless conducted through F.R.I.D.A.Y, which was the only way they could ensure it was secure, and even then he had mentioned several times it was for 'emergencies only'. He was in no mood to hear Stark's mouth, deciding against calling, and opting to look at photos of her instead.

The text notification was the first thing that he saw when he woke the phone, a smile instantly spreading across his face when he saw who it was from. He opened it eagerly, the dirty old man in him hoping that maybe it was a naughty photo or text, and was met with a grainy black and grey image. He had no idea what the hell he was looking at, his eyes trained on the poorly drawn heart.

"Hey Steve…" he said absently, turning his phone in his hands, hoping that it might give him some insight into what it was. It did nothing.

"What's wrong?" Steve questioned, coming up behind him.

Bucky turned, holding the phone up to him. "What the hell is this?"

Steve frowned at the phone, blinking at the image for a few seconds before recognition dawned in his eyes and a smile covered his face. "Bucky, that's your baby," he answered with a soft laugh. "It's called an ultrasound, it takes a picture of the baby inside of Jade. See she put 'Baby Barnes is doing just fine'."

In his excitement and then confusion to see the photo he had completely ignored the words that Jade had sent accompanying it. He looked down at the phone, feeling his heart pitter patter in his chest when he realized that he was looking at his child, while marveling at modern technology again. They hadn't had anything like this back in his time, and the fact that a machine could take a photo of his kid inside it's mother was almost too much for him to fathom.

"That's my baby," he huffed with a soft laugh. "Technology huh?"

Steve grinned. "Yeah. It's does amazing things."

"Hey, Cap, need you over here asap," Tony said beckoning Steve with an impatient wave.

"Be right back," Steve sighed.

Bucky's eyes were fixated on the phone, waving Steve off absently. It was that moment that all the worry and dread that he had been suppressing returned. An unshakable feeling that something was wrong, that something bad had happened or was going to happen.

He told himself that he was doing the right thing for the woman he loved and their child to be. He was going after Hydra, the biggest threat to them, and if he succeeded they could live without having to look over their shoulder. Still something inside of him kept repeating:

 _You shouldn't have left them._

* * *

Tony lead Steve to the rear of the Quinjet, where he hoped he was out of Bucky's enhanced hearing range, making a mental note to one day test the super soldiers on the distance. He pulled Steve in close, both of them practically huddled in the corner, which made Steve frown down at Tony.

"Tony, what the hell is going-."

"There was an explosion at the hospital where Jade works," Tony cut him off in a hushed whisper.

The coloring in Steve's face slowly drained.

Tony took a deep breath. "All reports say that Jade is dead."


	8. The Bad News

**A/N: This is short and honestly a little rushed, but I wanted to get something out.**

* * *

 _"All reports say Jade is dead."_

Steve went through an array of emotions in a matter of seconds, all of which crossed his face, twisting his handsome features for a brief moment before they settled into a passive expression. The news devastated him, he loved Jade like a sister, and had at one point during the year that Bucky was gone, almost loved her like something more than a friend, but that was something he'd never dare speak of. He couldn't let the news break him. He was going to have to be strong, as he usually was, but more so for Bucky's sake. He knew this was going to destroy his best friend, shatter him into a million pieces that he probably would never be able to put together again. He knew without saying that he would have to be the one to break the news, he was the only one that could take Bucky's rage that would erupt somewhere amidst the sadness.

"What happened?" Steve questioned.

"I'm still not entirely sure, but there were armed men at the hospital that weren't local or federal authorities and I'm guessing that was Dimitri. I don't know if the explosion was intentional or an accident but…"

"But are we sure she's...? Have you spoken with Anton?"

"Anton's been reported dead as well. Both caught in the blast."

"So there's a body? This is _confirmed_?"

"Yes, Cap what are you getting at?"

"We have to land _now_ ," Steve replied.

Tony frowned. "What?"

"We can't tell him in the air. If he freaks out like I expect him to he could bring the quinjet down."

"Are you out of your mind? We are not telling him until the mission is over."

"You can't be serious Tony. The mission could take weeks. _Weeks_. You expect me to be able to keep the information that the woman he loves and his unborn child are dead from my best friend for _weeks_?"

"Look we've been planning this mission for months. This could be the key to stopping Hydra and saving thousands of lives. The needs of the many outweigh those of the few. If we tell him it'll jeopardize the mission. We have to do this. Greater good and all that."

Steve snorted a laugh in disbelief at Tony's callousness. "And if it were, Pepper and your unborn kid?" He countered with a stern glare.

Tony's face fell, his lips forming a hard line. He sucked in a quick breath and squared his shoulders. He didn't want to argue that counterpoint. He didn't want to _think_ about the possibility of that counterpoint.

"We cannot tell Bucky this news. We have to complete the mission."

"Tell me what news?"

Steve inwardly cursed Hydra and all the stealth they taught Bucky. He hadn't even heard the man's footsteps on the metal of the quinjet. How could a 6 ft 200 something pound man with a metal arm move quieter than a mouse? He and Tony shared an intense glare, Tony's teeth clenched and a blazing look in his eyes. A look that said ' _Don't'._

Bucky looked between them impatiently. "Tell me _what_?"

Steve hesitated glancing at Tony, who tilted his head and glared harder. "Steve."

There was an odd sensation that raced down Steve's spine at Tony calling him by his actual name. It was always 'Cap' or 'Capsicle' or the full 'Captain', usually said with heavy sarcasm, and occasionally just 'Rogers'. Tony said it simply and calmly, but it held a warning, _don't do this._ But Steve couldn't do this to Bucky. This was not a secret he could hold in, greater good be damned.

"I can't," Steve whispered looking at Tony stepping away from him and toward Bucky. "I can't do that to him."

Tony's face set into a scowl. "Steve." He said it again with more urgency and hints of desperation this time.

"Do what to me? What the hell is going on?" Bucky demanded.

Steve steeled his nerves, passing Tony an apologetic glance to which Tony sighed in defeat and turned his back on them making Bucky frown. But Tony should have known by then that it would always be Bucky, that Steve would always chose him over anything, if it came down to it. It was to the end of the line. _Always._

"Steve," Bucky said warily as he stepped toward him, fear creeping into the blue of his eyes. " _What is going on?"_

"It's Jade," The words blurted from his mouth before Steve could really think of a way to share the information delicately. There was no right way to tell someone that the person they loved was dead. "There was an explosion at the hospital and… it's been reported that she… died."

Bucky did nothing for several seconds, only stared at Steve blankly before surprising him by huffing, a small and worried smile crossing his lips as a nervous laugh passed through his lips.

"What?" Bucky breathed shaking his head once. "She just texted me a picture. Is this some kind of joke?"

Steve remained silent, looking into his best friend's eyes, his own growing watery. He blinked back tears and waited for the news to sink in and for Bucky's real reaction.

"Steve, tell me you're joking," Bucky demanded, the smile leaving his face. His voice had risen alerting the other team members who paused in what they were doing and stared at interaction with confusion.

Steve shook his head. "I'm… I'm so sorry, Bucky."

Bucky's face fell. Steve tensed as he saw the metal hand clench into a fist and rage burn in Bucky's eyes. This is what he had expected, rage, fire, anger, because he had promised him Jade would be alright, he had assured it. And now she was dead, along with their unborn child, and it was all his fault. _He_ had made Bucky leave with his promises and assurances.

"Tell. Me. You're. Joking." Bucky repeated it slowly and through clenched teeth, his eyes darting between him and Tony, who had turned back to them with a face full of remorse.

"Bucky…" Steve said softly. It was all he could manage to get out. He couldn't repeat the words again.

The metal hand shot out at lightning speed grabbing the front of his uniform and yanking him forward towards Bucky's enraged face. He didn't bother to try and stop him, he'd be Bucky's punching bag if needed. He'd take every blow.

"I said tell me you're joking, Rogers!" Bucky shouted.

"What the hell is going on?" Natasha demanded stepping forward as Sam, Clint, Bruce, and Thor approached them.

Steve held up a hand, quickly daring a look at them to shake his head. He waved them off, not wanting Bucky to turn his rage on them.

"I wish that I could say it wasn't true-," Steve started.

"No! You said she'd be fine. You promised she was in good hands!" Bucky barked.

"Who?" Sam asked in confusion looking from Steve to Bucky to Tony and back . "What is going on guys?"

"It's Jade," Tony said somberly, his hands on his hips and his eyes on the ground. "She's…. dead."

Bucky was lunging before anyone could react, colliding into Tony forcing the man to the ground and raising his metal fist. Steve got to him before he could strike, grabbing the metal arm and yanking Bucky backward and restraining him.

"You shut your damn mouth," Bucky growled as he glared daggers at Tony, pointing a metal finger at him, Steve restraining him with both thick arms around his middle.

Tony got to his feet with Sam and Natasha's help, shaking his head, looking at Bucky with guilt in his eyes. Because he too had promised that she would be alright.

"I'm sorry, Bucky," Tony sighed, making Steve blink because he's certain Tony has never used Bucky's real name. _Ever_. "I truly am."

Bucky's face softened a bit, the news fully setting in as his face fell once more along with eyes that quickly grew watery. Steve heard the ragged breath Bucky tried to take in, watched his eyes dart back and forth as he stared Tony down. The next breath was just as shaky and ragged as the first, Bucky's fingers tightening around the material of his uniform, his eyes widening. The rage drained from his face and eyes only to be replaced immediately with despair.

"Oh god… oh god… No, she's not… she can't be, Steve," Bucky gasped desperately. He was well into a panic attack, his chest feeling tight, knees feeling weak.

Steve caught him as his knees gave out, helping him ease to the floor. "I'm sorry, Bucky. I'm so sorry."

Bucky's body shook as he sobbed in Steve's arms, the sounds of his crying sounding all too loud in the deafening silence of the quinjet.


	9. Safe House

**A/N: reposting because for some reason it was html last time! sorry about that. Thanks to the reviewer who let me know!**

* * *

 _Nothing was familiar._

That was the first thing that registered in Jade's brain when her eyelids blinked their way heavily back into consciousness.

The second thing she registered was pain. It was reverberating around in her skull, throbbing and aching and it was shooting sharply up and down her left arm, which upon looking she found was in a cast.

 _What the…_

Suddenly alert, she pushed the foreign covers off her body, seeing that someone had put an IV in her right arm, clear fluids being administered from a medicine bag hanging from the IV pole at her bedside. She was no longer wearing scrubs, someone had changed her into a soft white nightgown. A soft white nightgown she was sure did not belong to her.

She frowned in confusion, looking to her surroundings next. She was in a bedroom, in a large bed with a pretty comforter, that she had to admit was comfortable beneath her. Nothing about the room called out for recognition and she sat up slowly, taking in the wooden walls and the farmhouse style decorations. There was a window to her right, which she slid out of bed and walked towards slowly on shaky legs, dragging her IV behind her to peer out.

The sun was shining on a vast expansion of green fields that surrounded whatever two story home she was in. She could see from the window that the house was yellow and had a white trim with large wrap around porch and in the distance was a red barn. Animals, cows and some random chickens and horses, roamed in separate fenced in portion of the field. All signs pointed to the fact she was on a farm. A farm that seemingly sat in the middle of nowhere because she saw no other houses in the distance.

Jade frowned again. _Where the hell am I?_

She tried to think back to before she woke up, struggling to recall her memories of before when they all came back in a rush. Going to work and Anton acting strange before an…"Explosion," she whispered to herself.

 _Baby Barnes!_ Her hands immediately went to her abdomen, feeling her usual flat stomach, though there was a bit of pudge that she had been vowing to lose for a year around her belly button. Worry spiked within her, she tried to _feel_ if she was still pregnant, but aside from a slight dizziness, which could very well be from her pounding head, and the pain in her head and arm, she felt nothing.

 _Okay, this is...fine. Everything is fine. Baby Barnes is fine. Everything is good, just try to remember what the hell happened,_ she told herself, forcing a deep breath into her lungs as she felt the beginning stages of a panic attack setting upon her.

She closed her eyes and tried to remember anything from after the explosion. Her brain coming up with nothing despite her valiant efforts. The last she remembered was being in the elevator, a loud and deafening sound that rocked the elevator and sent her off of her fee. Everything after was only a blank.

 _Okay, I lied. This is not good. Not good at all._

The bedroom door opened behind her with a soft creak and her heart leaped in her chest. She turned almost too quickly, sending the room spinning for a moment, she hoped to see Bucky standing at the door, but was met with the sight of Anton stepping into the room carrying a tray of food. She blinked at him, taking in the blue jeans he wore and the plain white tee that adorned his torso, which was a big contrast to the black on black she had seen him wear every day since he had become her bodyguard. And his face, while normally freshly shaven was sporting a five o' clock shadow although she was sure it was barely mid morning. Anton's face fell in surprise when he saw her awake and standing, adjusting the tray in his hands to shut the door behind him, which only made her heart stutter in panic.

"You're awake," he said slowly, a small smile on his face. "Good, how are you feeling?"

"Anton, what the fuck is going on?" She snapped wanting to skip pleasantries and get right to it. "Where am I?"

Anton walked slowly to the bed, raising one hand in an attempt to disarm her before he set the tray down. "Easy. Relax. You're fine, Jade. You're at a safe house."

"Safe house?" She repeated.

"Yes," Anton nodded. "You've been here for 4 days. Most of which you spent unconscious. You had a severe head injury and your arm is broken. Are you in any pain?"

She ignored his question. "What safehouse? Does James know I am here? My parents? Has anyone called Iris? What the hell happened?" Her voice rose with each question to the point that she shouted the last one and felt a wave of nausea sweep through her that almost sent her running for the wastebasket. She swallowed it back instead, shutting her eyes and forcing her body to steady to itself.

 _Keep it together. Keep it the fuck together._ She ordered herself. She had no time to be sick or weak, something definitely wasn't right. If Bucky knew that she was hurt, he would have come home, missio be damned. And her parents and Iris would have come as well. And then there was the fact that she was somewhere on a farm instead of at a hospital.

"Jade, you're turning green," Anton commented walking toward her with his hands open and at chest level. "Please, sit down, take it easy."

"I don't want to take it easy. I want you to answer my damn-," her rant was interrupted by a gag, the nausea she had tried to swallow back rearing its ugly head again.

She went running for the small waste basket in the corner, heaving the limited contents of her stomach into it. She felt a warm hand on her back and a second pulling back her curls to keep them from getting puked on. She wanted to twist out of his touch, still not trusting him as she once had, but she was too busy heaving. It went on for a few more minutes, until there was nothing left and Anton was taking the wastebasket, now a puke bucket, from her hands and setting it aside. Without a word he tucked his hands under her arms and helped her to her feet, leading her back to the bed. She thought of fighting him, but her upset stomach and aching head and arm advised her against it. Instead she settled back into the bed, Anton tucking the covers in around her before handing her a napkin from the tray. She took it, eyeing him warily and wiping her mouth.

"Better?" He asked watching her with a raised eyebrow.

She nodded wordlessly.

"Vomiting can be a symptom of a head injury, but given that you're pregnant it could also just be morning sickness," Anton reasoned leaving her gaping at him. How did he know? "I don't think we should be too concerned, but I'll get the doctor back in here to check you out."

 _Doctor?_ "Dr. Cho?" She asked hopefully, another familiar face would put her at ease.

"Not Dr. Cho, but another trustworthy doctor. He treated you when we got here, he put your arm in the cast," Anton replied motioning to it. He pulled a capped syringe already containing a dose of medicine from his pocket, making Jade tense. "Relax," he said calmly. "This is just morphine. I know you're in quite a bit of pain, let me give you a dose. The doctor left it for when you woke up and assured me it's safe for the baby."

She was in a moderate amount of pain, enough so that she was actually considering letting him inject her with it. "You are _not_ injecting me with anything," she said through clenched teeth.

"Jade," Anton sighed. "I just want you to be comfortable."

"I'd be a hell of a lot more comfortable if you'd explain to me what the hell is going on and answered my questions."

"All your questions will be answered in due time. Now will you let me give you some medicine?"

She hesitated, considering it, but she ultimately shook her head. She didn't trust him. "No, thank you."

Anton sighed, running a frustrated hand over his face. "Will you atleast eat then?"

Jade glanced at the tray of food, seeing a serving of scrambled eggs, country potatoes and bacon sitting on a plate. Her stomach rumbled in response. She was starving and though she felt a little nauseous still, she knew that eating was important for the baby. Especially if she hadn't eaten in four days.

"Yes, I'll eat," she answered reaching for the tray.

He looked mildly relieved at that. "Good, you eat, I'll be back to check on you in a little while."

He turned on his heel and made for the door, pausing when she called his name hesitantly. He looked at her over his shoulder, one eyebrow arched. "Yeah?"

She chewed her lip worriedly. "I'm not...a prisoner here am I?"

Anton hesitated, but shook his head once. "You're safe, Jade."

That didn't answer her question. He pulled the door open, stopping when she spoke again.

"Anton, please, just tell me what the hell is going on? Does Bucky know I am here?"

Anton paused in the doorway, his back to her. "All your questions will be answered soon. You're just going to have to trust me," he stepped out and shut the door before she could get another question out.


	10. Questions

It was raining.

On a day when there was no rain forecasted.

Still it sprinkled down on the cemetery, though the sun was shining in the cloudy sky, as if god, or whoever was up there, knew that there was something to be sad about. It masked Bucky's tears as they slid warmly down his face, his eyes staring intently at the large photo of Jade's smiling face that was propped near the casket they were slowly lowering into the dirt.

Steve and Natasha stood at his left and right, and Tony on the other side of Steve. Thor, Clint, and Bruce behind them. They had abandoned the mission despite Tony's protest, the team not bothering to vote on it. Natasha has walked to the pilot chair and turned the quinjet around without a word.

Jade's parents arrived the next morning, Iris going to the airport to collect them. The authorities didn't bother with asking Michael and Janet to identify Jade's body. Multiple people had reported seeing her get into the elevator, Anton having been inside waiting for her. So when they found the elevator engulfed in flames at the bottom of the shaft, two burnt bodies inside, two and two were put together. Both bodies were broken and burnt so badly they were unrecognizable, charred to a crisp with no chance of matching dental records or fingerprints. Jade's parents forgoed the autopsy, not wanting to deal with the ordeal any longer and planned a funeral which was held three days later.

They had classified the attack on the hospital and the resulting explosion as a random terrorist attack. But Bucky knew there had been nothing random about it. Dimitri had come for Jade, hoping that in the chaos caused by the bombs he could easily take her, probably not envisioning that she would take an elevator. There had been reports of armed men waiting in the stairwell, most likely waiting for her to try and escape the hospital. It was all Dimitri's doing and Bucky planned to make sure that he would pay. And pay dearly. He hadn't gone after him before, not when it could put Jade in danger, but now that she was gone; Bucky had _nothing_ to lose.

He approached Michael, Janet, and Iris as the service ended and the guests began to depart, unsure of what he planned to say, but knowing that it was only right to say _something._ Steve followed, closely, staying right at his side as he had been the past few days.

"Mr. and Mrs. Johnson," Bucky started slowly, finding it terribly hard to hold their teary gazes. He sucked in a shaky breath, trying to hold his own tears at bay. "I… I… I'm so sorry."

To his surprise Janet reached out and took hold of his hand, giving it a small squeeze. "We're sorry too," she said shaking her head. Bucky stared at her dumbfounded, because what on earth did he deserve an apology for when this was his fault. "Jade loved you, very much. I know she did. And Iris told us about the baby. This is just as much your loss as it is ours."

Bucky's heart seized in his chest when she roped him into a hug, holding him tightly. He could feel her body shake as she silently sobbed against him. He hesitantly hugged her back, squeezing his eyes shut to try, and fail, and keeping tears at bay. The hug lasted seconds though it felt like hours and soon Michael was prying Janet's arms from around Bucky's middle, offering him a sad nod and a handshake before herding his wife away to their waiting limo. Iris hung back, waiting for Michael and Janet to get out of ear shot before she spoke.

"Was this the Russian guy?" She demanded wiping at her eyes with a tissue. "Is he the reason Jade is dead?"

"Iris," Steve started stepping forward.

She shook her head and held up a hand. "I asked Bucky a question," she said staring right at Bucky, her eyes boring into him.

Bucky could only nod once.

Iris choked back a sob and wiped at her eyes some more, before taking a deep breath and straightening. "Then I hope to god you find him and make the bastard pay."

She turned on her heel then, moving quickly to catch up with her waiting family, disappearing inside the limo with the Johnsons. Bucky never got the chance to tell her that he planned too.

Steve, knowing him better than anyone, and most likely already knowing what he would plan before Bucky himself, refused to leave his side. It prevented Bucky from getting the go bag he had stashed and taking off to find Dimitri. He didn't want to be talked out of it, and he knew that Steve, in all his righteousness, would never be okay with it. He'd want Dimitri handled the _proper_ way. And Bucky couldn't live with that.

He managed to dislodge himself from Steve once night had fallen, insisting that he just wanted privacy and sleep, and waited for quiet to fall on the compound. It was 3:00 am when he slipped out of his room quietly, donning a baseball cap and slinging his bag over his shoulder. He was steps away from the elevator when he heard Steve's voice.

"Going somewhere?"

He froze with a sigh, turning to find Steve rising from the couch in the common room. No doubt where he'd camped out purposefully to stop him.

"You're not gonna stop me, Steve."

"I can't let you do this. We can take down Dimitri together. He _will_ go to prison."

"I don't want him to go to prison. I want him dead."

"You're not a killer anymore, Bucky."

He huffed at that. Unable to help, but think, _I never stopped being one_. He wanted to say the words badly, but he didn't. They died in his throat. Still it changed nothing. He was going with Steve's blessing or through him.

"If you do this, you're turning back into everything that Hydra made you to be. Everything that you are _not_ ," Steve said gravely stepping toward him.

"He killed my girl," Bucky snapped through clenched teeth. "He killed- _._ " _Our baby._ He stopped short and shook his head.

Those words made Steve's face fall. "If you go on a rampage and murder your way through people, good or bad, trying to find Dimitri, you know what they'll make me do. They'll make me hunt you down, Bucky."

"Then so be it," Bucky replied turning back for the elevator.

"Bucky, _please_ ," Steve called.

He froze again, hearing the desperation in his friend's voice. It was almost enough to make him think twice. _Almost._ Instead he stepped forward onto the elevator as the doors opened as his approach.

"Goodbye, Steve," he whispered as the doors shut.

* * *

On a farm in a remote location, Jade paced the bedroom that she had been stuck in since she'd woken up, chewing on the nail of her thumb and holding her stomach. Anton hadn't answered any of her questions nor had he let her out of the room. He brought her meals three times a day and checked on her regularly; there were clothes for her in the dresser of the room and she could access the bathroom that was attached to the room, and there was a stack of books in the genre she liked that were there to entertain her. But she still had no idea where she was, how long she'd _really_ been there or _why_ she was there. And she was beginning to feel like a prisoner.

It had been three days since she'd woken up. She stood freshly showered and changed into clean clothes waiting for Anton to bring her breakfast as he always did. The door opened at 9:00 am, right on schedule, and Anton stepped in, but he wasn't alone. A short man with dark hair and glasses, carrying a black satchel bag, stepped in after him. Jade stiffened, frowning curiously at the sight.

"Hello Jade, it's good to see you awake. I'm Dr. Fine," he greeted pausing in the doorway.

Jade glanced warily at Anton, who tried to give her a reassuring smile with a nod. "I'll be right outside if I'm needed," he said before shutting the door and leaving Jade feeling like she was trapped.

"There's no reason to be frightened I am not here to hurt you," Dr. Fine insisted, approaching the bed and gesturing for her to follow.

Jade found that very hard to believe. She trusted Dr. Fine as much as she requested Anton, which was not at all. Still she moved toward the bed and sat down on it, watching the doctor. "You're the one who put my arm in a cast?"

Dr. Fine nodded, opening his satchel to pull out some gloves which he donned. "Yes I did. I also treated your head injury, put in an IV, gave you antibiotics to prevent any infection and checked in on your baby, which was doing fine."

"Who do you work for?"

"I'm currently not at liberty to say. Now how are you feeling?"

"I'd feel a lot better if people started answering my questions," Jade replied irritably.

Dr. Fine offered a smile she didn't return. "Can I have your arm please?" He motioned to the one that wasn't broken.

Jade sat quietly seething while Dr. Fine checked her blood pressure, checked her pupils, listened to her heart and lungs, and then used a Doppler to listen to her baby's heart beat. It was reassuring and almost calming to hear the rapid _thump-thump_ , knowing that the life that she and Bucky created was still there.

"Everything is looking good. You seem to be healing nicely. Baby sounds good," Dr. Fine commented putting his items back into his bag. "Anton tells me you are refusing pain medication."

"I'm not letting him inject me with anything," Jade replied. "For one I do not trust him and two I am pregnant. I don't want anything affecting the baby."

"Moderate doses of pain medication will not affect the development of your baby. And given that the child's father is a super soldier I imagine you're carrying the most resilient fetus there has ever been."

Jade hesitated, eyeing him suspiciously. "How do you know that?"

"If you're uncomfortable with injection then take these," He ignored her question and pulled a bottle of pills from his satchel. "Take one as needed every 4-6 hours. Up the dosage to two if you must. They're safe for your baby. I promise."

He offered another smile she didn't return and picked up his satchel. "I'll be back to check on you and baby in a week."

"Wait! A week? Just how long are you planning to keep me here?" She demanded as he opened the door to a waiting Anton in the hallway.

And again he wasn't alone.

A tall and bald African American man in a leather coat stood talking with him until Dr. Fine stepped out, closing the door and both men quieted. Jade hurriedly jumped from the bed, wincing at the pain that shot through her arm and head, rushing to the door, pressing her ear against it, easily able to hear the men through the thin wood of the door.

"She's doing well, they both are," She heard Dr. Fine say softly through the cracked door. "Blood pressure is a little high, but given that she's in pain and refusing pain meds as well as stressed to hell that's not surprising. How long are we keeping her here, Nick?"

"Yeah, she keeps asking questions of course and the 'all your questions will be answered in due time' response is getting old," Anton chimed in.

There was a sigh although Jade wasn't sure from who. "Perhaps it's time Ms. Johnson and I had a talk," the new man, she assumed who was named Nick, said.

"Yes, I think that would be a good idea. I'll be back to check on her in a week," Dr. Fine replied.

She turned as the heavy footsteps sounded on the other side of the door and hurried back to the bed just as she heard the door opening behind her. She was under the covers before it opened completely, picking up the book she had been reading earlier and putting in her lap. Anton stepped in first, the man in all black following behind. It was then she saw that he was wearing an eye patch. She eyed them both impatiently, and if she had to admit it, worriedly.

"Ms. Johnson," he greeted coming to a stop near the bed. "My names Nick Fury. I think we have a lot to discuss."


	11. Catch 22

A/N: Greetings! Sorry this is a short chapter but I wanted to get something out. I also wanted to say that this story is going to exist in an alternate universe/timeline where SHIELD is still active under Nick Fury and the mysterious panel and one in which Bucky is under the protection of Steve and Tony, only because SHIELD condisers Steve and Tony valuable. So yes, on with the story.

* * *

Jade stared blankly at the man, Nick Fury, standing before her, wondering just who the hell he was. She didn't recognize him at all and he certainly wasn't Russian, but that didn't rule out the possibility that he could be working for Dimitri. And if he wasn't working for Dimitri, what the hell did he want with her? Shifting on the bed a little, she crossed her arms over her chest and regarded him with a scrutinizing glare. He seemed unphased.

"Do I know you?" She asked.

"No, but I know you," he replied gesturing to her. "And your boyfriend."

So this was about Bucky. _Of course it was_. "You're working with Dimitri?"

Fury chuckled. "Quite the opposite actually. I work for the Strategic Homeland Intervention, Enforcement and Logistics Division."

Jade hesitated. "That's a mouthful."

"So we've heard. It's why we go by SHIELD."

"And what is it exactly that SHIELD wants with me?"

Fury put his arms behind back. "To keep you alive."

"Mr. Fury-."

"Nick, please."

Jade sighed. " _Nick_. I've been held here against my will for almost a week now. I have no idea if James, or my friends or family know that I am alive. So forgive me if I'm a little impatient when I ask you to cut the bullshit and just tell me what the hell is going on."

Fury chuckled again, shaking his head as he approached the bed, towering over her. "You have become a liability to the American people, Jade. And it is my job to protect the American people and that includes you. A terrorist was willing to blow up a children's hospital to get to you, just to spite your boyfriend; resulting in the deaths of 12 people, 6 of which were children, and that is something that the United States government can not abide."

Jade's face fell in horror. Twelve people had died because of Dimitri coming from her. She _was_ a liability. A liability that had gotten people killed.

"And let me take a guess that your boyfriend didn't tell you he was a wanted man and the only reason he has not been taken into custody is because he is under the supervision and protection of Tony Stark and Steve Rogers, two men the United States government and SHIELD deem useful and don't want to piss off at the moment."

Jade blinked up at Fury, feeling a confused frown cross her face. That was new information for her.

Fury continued at her confused and shocked silence. "If it we're up to us, your boyfriend would be locked away in a hole right now for the many murders he has committed over the past 50 odd years. And the only reason he is not is because he's Steve Rogers best friend. We've let him be, that is until, because of him, an American woman, _you_ , were kidnapped and taken on foreign soil and subjected to god knows what. It was then that we decided we needed to keep an eye on things, mainly you, to ensure that you were safe."

"I am safe. My being kidnapped was _not_ Bucky's fault. It was Hydra. He did everything he could to protect me-," Jade cut in angrily.

"But it _was_ his fault. The only reason you were kidnapped was because he took an interest in you. And because of that interest there was a gunfight at a motel, and you were held hostage. And now a year later we have a terrorist on American soil blowing up children's hospitals looking for _you_ because of your boyfriend. Call me crazy, but it sounds an awful lot like it is the Winter Soldiers fault."

Jade's blood boiled in anger, her teeth clenching. "James is _not_ the Winter Soldier anymore. Nor is he responsible for what a crazy terrorist does. If you want to be mad at someone be mad at the terrorist!"

"Oh we are. We intend to find Dimitri and the Winter Soldier and eliminate both threats."

"What?" Jade breathed feeling her stomach sink. "This is ridiculous! James has done nothing wrong-."

"Not recently, but he has quite the kill count. And I imagine with him believing that you are dead and the fact that he is no longer at the Avengers compound, that number is going to go up."

Jade froze, her heart nearly seizing in her chest as she gaped, wide eyed at Fury. "James thinks I'm dead?"

"Everyone does. It was the only way to ensure your safety and completely remove you from this mess," he reached into his long leather coat and pulled out a folded manilla envelope from the inside pocket. "We have given you a new identity. Jade Johnson is dead." He opened it and dumped the contents out onto the bed in front of her. It was an I.D. and a passport, both with her photo and the name Jasmine Williams on it.

She reached for the ID with shaky hands, staring down at it and feeling her eyes getting watery. "H-How?"

"Once we deemed you unsafe and a liability we began formulating a plan to remove you from Barnes and the Avengers. When we heard that they were looking for a bodyguard for you, we took that opportunity to place a SHIELD agent with you. An agent that you know as Anton Sokolov," he pointed behind himself at Anton who was leaning against the bedroom wall. "The plan was always to fake your death and move you to a remote location. The hospital bombing was another opportunity, unforeseen and tragic, but helpful to getting you."

"B-But I have a life. I have a job. My parents and Iris, my friend, they'll be devastated. And James-," she broke off when she felt her heart start to race. "You can't do this. I have rights. You can't just-."

Fury shrugged half heartedly. "We can. We have. This is your one chance to get out. You have a new identity, a new home, and a chance at a better life for your child. If you'd stayed, you'd always be in danger from Hydra and so would your child. And the American people would be endangered as well."

"You really expect me to just leave everything behind. I'm supposed to have a child alone on a farm in the middle of nowhere?!"

"You are not alone. In fact you're married," Fury turned his head toward Anton who straightened, giving a weak attempt at a smile. "Jade, meet your husband. Anton Williams."

Jade huffed in disbelief, looking between them and waiting for them to tell her that this was all a joke. A sick and twisted joke and she was going home; back to her family, and her friends, and _Bucky._ She couldn't do this. She couldn't leave it all behind and just forget so easily. And the fact that Nick Fury and SHIELD felt that they could make that decision for her pissed her off to no end.

"And if I refuse?" She asked glaring at Fury. "What's to stop me from getting to a phone and calling James to tell him that I am alive?"

Fury paused for just a moment, his head tilting. "You could. And then we'd be forced to take you into custody for obstructing justice and aiding a fugitive. You'd be imprisoned indefinitely and your child would be taken from you once it was born. And given that it is the first child ever born with the super serum in its DNA I imagine the government might want to run some tests."

Jade's hand immediately went to her stomach. "You won't ever touch this child."

"You're right. We won't. As long as you cooperate you and your child will be safe and provided for."

Jade was seething on the bed, her stomach rolling back and forth, nausea sitting at the back of her throat. She felt stuck, trapped, and unsure of what to do. She startlingly realized that she truly had no choice, not if she wanted her child to be safe.

"I don't have much of a choice do I?" She replied bitterly, unable to hide the anger from her face.

Fury shook his head. "No, Ms. Johnson, you don't."


	12. Patience

Steve caught up with him three months later in Kazan, Russia, living in an apartment that you didn't need to provide a name for so long as you paid cash, which Bucky had. In three short months he had single handedly taken down two small hydra cells in his search for Dimitri, which had yielded few results, but left a lot of mangled and maimed bodies. He hadn't killed anyone, _yet._ But that hadn't stopped Steve from coming anyway.

Night had fallen on the city, the apartment building quiet for once, and it was these times that Bucky hated. When he was lying alone on his cot, staring up at the cracked, and no where near up to code, ceiling. The stillness and the quiet always brought thoughts of Jade to the forefront of his brain and with the thoughts come the heartache. He'd tried to shut his feelings off, to numb himself from feeling any further pain, but it hadn't worked. All it took was one memory of her smiling face, hearing the distant echo of her laugh, to break him again. He could hardly sleep for he always dreamed of her, of her lying next to him, reaching out to touch his face, kissing him so sweetly before he blinked and she was burning and screaming and there was nothing he could do. He would awake to tears in his eyes and a scream on his tongue and an aching pounding heart. He never thought he'd miss his Hydra nightmares.

The only sound that gave Steve away was a creak in the old wooden floor that you wouldn't be able to avoid unless you lived in the building. Bucky didn't bother to rise from where he laid in the darkness, only letting out a soft irritated huff. He would be getting no sleep at all tonight.

Steve's shadow came next, broad and towering over him.

"Took you long enough," Bucky whispered to the dark.

"I almost had you in Moscow," Steve replied, his tone just as quiet, holding hints of amusement. "The fires were still burning when we reached the base."

"We?" Bucky opened his eyes and arched one eyebrow.

"Natasha and Sam. They're just as worried about you as I am."

Bucky didn't need to ask if they were with Steve now, he could imagine Sam perched on the roof above them and Natasha waiting at the back entrance, both ready to flank him should he choose to run.

Steve spoke when he said nothing in response. "Come home, Bucky."

He admittedly missed the compound and all its inhabitants, which surprisingly included Tony Stark, and the life that he had created there.

But he missed Jade more.

"You know I can't." He sat up then and noticed the way Steve flinched, bringing his shield up just a fraction of an inch.

"You _can._ You just _won't_ ," Steve countered.

Bucky huffed a laugh. "Fine. I won't."

"We can do this the right way. _Together._ Like we always have." Bucky didn't need to have the lights on to imagine the desperation in Steve's blue eyes. He was glad the lights were still off.

"I don't want to fight," he answered. In other words, _no._

Steve sighed, softly, the sound loud in the quiet. "I don't want to fight either. So let's go home."

Bucky rose to his feet and again Steve flinched. He could hear the quiet groan of leather as Steve gripped his shield tighter. Bucky was in no mood to fight. Not when he had barely slept and hadn't ate. He needed to save his strength for the next hydra cell, the one he'd been staking out for the past week.

"Jade was my home, Steve. And with her gone, I have nothing."

"That's not true, Bucky," Steve snapped. Apparently he had pushed the righteous man's buttons. "You had a life before her and you can have one again."

And now Steve had pushed his. "I don't want a life without her!" Bucky growled stepping towards the man in red white and blue.

There was another sigh, this one sounding more defeated than annoyed. To his surprise Steve stepped away from him, lowering the shield.

"I'm here as a friend," Steve said. "No ones sending me after you, _yet._ I can't promise I will be here as a friend the next time. I might have no choice."

This was something that Bucky already knew. It changed nothing. "Noted."

Steve stepped toward him, right into a path of moonlight spilling in through the broken blinds. There was that desperation he had imagined, bright and pleading.

"Bucky, _please._ It doesn't have to be this way."

But it did. It was. And nothing would change it. Bucky had made his decision, there was no other way. And he'd die to carry out his plan if he had too.

He repeated the words that he had said to Steve when he'd left three months ago. Two words that sent Steve trudging out of the apartment.

"Goodbye, Steve."

* * *

"Baby Barnes sounds good and strong. And how is mommy feeling?" Dr. Fine smiled, putting the Doppler back in his satchel and placing his stethoscope in his ears.

Jade rolled her eyes, running a hand over the swell of her belly and feeling a strong kick from within in response. She was tired, very tired, in fact the tiredness never went away no matter how much she slept, which was a lot. And just as she was always tired she was always hungry, if she wasn't sleeping, she was eating, huge heaping portions though she'd hardly gained much weight, but you couldn't tell from the bump she now sported.

They'd quickly figured out that it was because of Baby Barnes, who had the super serum in its DNA, just as its father had, which Dr. Fine had gathered from a blood sample. And while Baby Barnes was healthy and strong, it was growing at an accelerated rate which was taking a toll on Jade, explaining her constant fatigue and hunger. And along with the fatigue and hunger came muscle pains from the stretch of her rapidly growing belly. Dr. Fine, who she had grown to actually like and look forward to seeing once a week despite the circumstances, was trying to play it cool, but Jade could see the worry in his eyes whenever he checked Baby Barnes fundal height and saw how much it had grown in a short week. Baby Barnes was currently measuring at 6 months even though it should have only been 5 months along.

"I'm tired. Just tired all the time," she answered with a shrug. It was the answer that she always gave. It was the truth.

Dr. Fine gave her a tight lipped smile. "As to be expected. I'd like to bring a a ultrasound machine next week so we can check on things in there. Maybe we can find out the sex."

Jade nodded. "Sure."

"We're all done for now. Keep up the calorie intake and make sure you keep taking the vitamins. And if there are any changes or concerns you have Anton call me," he patted her hand and offered a more genuine smile.

"Will do, doc," she saluted him and watched him gather his things and head for the bedroom door. As always Anton was waiting just outside the door waiting to escort the doctor out.

After her conversation with Fury and her appearance of being resigned to her new situation, Anton had let her out of the bedroom. The house was truly beautiful and spacious and if it weren't her prison she would've loved it. She'd learned that running was not an option, the nearest town, according to Anton, was over an hour away by car, and she'd have to travel through forest to get there. There were no phones in the house, save for Anton's cellphone which he kept on him at all times along with the keys to the only vehicle, a black SUV. She had free range of the property and she forced herself to get up and take a walk around the property once a day, for exercise purposes, and to memorize the land should a situation arise where she could run.

Anton made her meals three times a day, a strict high calorie diet designed by Dr. Fine, and tended to the animals on the farm which was their cover. They were just a married couple, who owned a farm, and were expecting their first child, or so they told the people who delivered their groceries and other supplies, who Anton greeted outside while she stayed inside, 'in case she got any wild ideas' as he said.

But she hadn't gotten any wild ideas. At least not any new ones. She knew that she was stuck. Fury had thought of everything it seemed. And she knew that there was nothing she could do about it.

She found herself thinking of Bucky nearly every second of every day. She missed him so much that it physically hurt her heart to think about him. Every time Baby Barnes kicked or moved inside of her she got teary eyed, thinking of how Bucky was missing it, of how excited he had been, of how he'd never get any of these moments back. And most of all how lonely she was. The thought of having to go through pregnancy alone never occurred to her, not when she'd had her parents and Iris and practically the whole Avengers team, but most of all Bucky. And knowing she would be raising a child, a super soldier serum enhanced child at that, without any of them nearly sent her into a panic attack each time she thought about it.

But she would do whatever she had to if it meant keeping Baby Barnes safe and out of the government hands, though she trusted Nick Fury as far as she could throw him. There was no guarantee that they wouldn't come for her baby later even if she cooperated, something she made sure to remember.

An hour after Dr. Fine left she waddled downstairs, bored with the book she had been reading, as well as the options on Netflix. She could hear the sounds of life in the kitchen and discovered Anton in there, chopping vegetables up. He didn't look up when she entered, used to her only speaking to him when necessary. She was still angry with him. He was a part of this even if it was his 'job' and basically was her captor. The relationship and rapport they'd once had disappeared the moment he'd taken her from the hospital.

"Hi," she said tensely moving to the bar that sat on one side of the kitchen island and sliding clumsily onto a stool. She wasn't graceful as she used to be, not with the bump she was sporting now.

Anton arched one eyebrow in surprise, looking up from his vegetable chopping. This was the first time that she had greeted him since she first woke up.

"I'm making stew," he answered.

Jade wouldn't mention it aloud, but it smelled delicious and had her stomach rumbling in hunger. "That's nice."

"How are you feeling?" He scooped up the celery he had been chopping and dropped it into the large steaming pot on the stove.

"Tired. Hungry. Same as usual," she shrugged. It was the truth.

Anton looked at her over his shoulder, noticeably taking in her swollen belly. "Dr. Fine thinks you'll deliver early."

That thought made her stomach twist. She placed a hand on her belly, feeling Baby Barnes wiggle inside of her. "It's certainly growing fast."

"Yes, it is. I think it's time to start getting baby things don't you?"

She felt her face fall, her head snapping up to look at Anton. She hadn't thought of the fact that she had _nothing_ ready for Baby Barnes. She didn't have a single baby related item. But she couldn't very well shop for a baby when she was trapped in the house with no money.

"How would one go about that?" She asked.

Anton chuckled. "Don't the kids nowadays use Amazon for everything?"

She huffed a laugh in spite of herself, the curve of the smile on her lips feeling foreign. She hadn't laughed or smiled in so long.

"And where exactly would I be putting these baby things?"

Anton covered the pot with a lid and turned the burner on low, wiping his hands on a dishcloth he then slung over his shoulder. "Come with me."

He stepped out of the kitchen without waiting for her, leaving her to catch up with an awkward waddle run. He was at the top of the stairs by the time that she did catch up, walking to a closed door that was next to her bedroom. She hadn't explored the upstairs much, she hadn't felt a need. She knew there were five doors on the upper floor, one belonging to her room, one for Anton's, and another for the bathroom. She had guessed that the other two were closets or something.

Anton opened the door and flipped on the light, ushering her inside. She could see the freshly painted light yellow walls before she entered the empty room. The room was spacious with a little window nook and plenty of natural light spilling in from the windows. It was a perfect room for a nursery. And she hated how much she loved it.

"I don't know if you're having a boy or a girl so I went with gender neutral yellow," Anton explained motioning to the walls. "If you don't like it I can change it. But I figured the baby was going to need its own space so…" he looked around the room before looking at her. "We can order furniture and baby things and put them in here."

She said nothing, feeling her eyes start to water because none of this was right. She wasn't supposed to be in a house in the middle of nowhere with a man she didn't really know standing in a nursery that she liked when she should hate it. She was supposed to be doing this with Bucky and Iris. Bucky was supposed to be the one to paint the nursery and Iris was supposed to help her pick out furniture and other baby things.

Anton's face fell when he noticed the silent tears rolling down her cheeks. "What is it? Are you in pain? Dr. Fine said you should be resting-." He stepped toward her, reaching for her hand, no doubt ready to herd her to her bedroom and force her back into bed.

"I'm not in pain," she shook her head, shrugging off his reach. "None of this is right."

Anton looked puzzled. "We can change-."

"No, none of _this_ is right," she gestured wildly between them and then around the room. "There is no _we._ _We_ did not make this baby. You are not its father. You're not my real husband and I should not be stuck here in the middle of bum fuck nowhere about to have my first child with just _you_!"

She turned on her heel and stormed from the room before he could react, ending up in her bedroom with the door slammed shut. He didn't follow. Not right away. Instead he waited an hour and a half, knocking on her door softly and entering without waiting for permission. She was sitting on her bed, eyes still red and puffy from crying, hugging a pillow she wished smelled like Bucky. He was holding a steaming mug and approached the bed slowly.

"You calm now?" He asked with an arched eyebrow.

She didn't answer, only looked at him with a small scowl.

He offered her the mug. "It's tea. Chamomile."

She didn't want to take the tea, but she was thirsty. "Thanks," she grumbled.

With a heavy sigh he sat on the edge of her bed. "Look Jade-."

"Anton, I really don't want-."

"No, you got to yell at me earlier, now it's my turn," he cut in with a stern look in his eye. "I'm all you got, Jade. It's just me and you and soon, a baby. A baby I am not the father of, but whether or not you like it, a baby whose life its my job to protect. As well as yours. Your situation sucks, I know. And honestly I don't like it anymore than you do, but it's my _job._ And considering you aren't going anywhere and you're stuck with me, I'd suggest you let me help you. Otherwise you and your baby will truly be _alone._ "

That reality had her feeling like she had been punched in the gut. This wasn't what she wanted, not even a little. But it was all she had to work with.

She sucked in a deep breath and resigned to her fate once more. "Fine."

* * *

Dimitri Karpov had learned patience at a young age. Patience always brought a reward. His father had been rigid in that teaching as well as his insistence that Hydra, Country, and Family were everything, in that order. His father gave his life to Hydra, dedicated himself to it fiercely and eventually died at James Buchanan Barnes' hand as a result. Dimitri had been tasked with avenging his father's death and retrieving Hydra's most valuable asset.

He'd bided his time, waiting patiently for an opportunity. For the Winter Soldier to show weakness, something that would let him slip past the assets defenses which were tight. The asset was practically untouchable under the care of the Avengers, mainly Steve Rogers.

And then Jade had come along.

She had been the perfect opportunity, appealing to the humanity within the asset and weakening his defenses. Taking her and the asset had been simple enough, especially with her as the bait. Keeping them on the other hand was another story. He had underestimated Steve Rogers and the Avengers, and it had cost him.

But again he was a patient man and he knew another opportunity would arise. The thing about Hydra was they had agents everywhere, in just about every organization, including SHIELD. And to his luck, SHIELD thought the Winter Soldier and his girlfriend, were worth keeping an eye on. Meaning he had eyes on them as well. And just as he expected another opportunitu arose. He put a plan in place to kidnap her again, carefully planning each detail after heavy surveillance once he found out the Avengers were leaving her alone.

And then she'd gone and died.

That had been unexpected and inconvenient to say the least.

Now Bucky was after him, blowing his way through small Hydra groups to try and get his whereabouts. Last he heard Bucky was in mother Russia, which is exactly why Dimitri was in NY. The last place he thought Bucky would believe him to be.

And he absolutely hated it.

For the first time he had no plan and the deadly assassin was after him. The hunter had become the prey. He was thoroughly fucked.

He was holed up in a hotel with just two of his men, Ivan and Viktor, doing his damndest to stay hidden and alive. And trying not to go stir crazy. There was very little to do stuck in a hotel room with two grown men. Ivan and Viktor liked to drink, watch television, and play poker.

And Dimitri found himself doing it too.

The door to his hotel room burst open, a blur of black falling, startling him, Ivan, and Viktor, the three men looking up from their poker game, drawing their firearms and pointing them at Adrian. Adrian was young, americanized, and worked as a analyst for SHIELD. He was the one that kept them updated on Bucky and SHIELD. He also was Ivan's son. The product of a one night stand with an American woman, resulting in a son Ivan didn't know about till the boy was 10, a boy so desperate for his passive fathers love that he joined a terrorist organization.

"What the hell are you doing boy?" Ivan growled lowering his gun. "Don't you remember the knock? You trying to get killed?" There was a knock sequence they were supposed to use, to know that it was safe and not an assassin.

Adrian shook his head, trying to catch his breath, his face red from running. He was holding some papers which he walked forward and placed heavily in front of Dimitri.

"She's alive," Adrian managed to get out.

Dimitri frowned up at him. "Who?"

"The assets girl. Jade. She is alive."

"How?" Dimitri demanded snatching up the papers, eyes scanning over them quickly.

"They faked her death. To get her away from the Avengers and you. She's on some farm."

Dimitris eyes lit up. A plan was already formulating in his brain. "Do you have a location?"

Adrian shook his head once more. "No, they've kept her location out of the file, but I'm working on it. And there's more."

"Well? Tell me!" Dimitri demanded.

"She's pregnant."


	13. Location

Bucky had hit a wall in his search. An impenetrable wall that had left him feeling defeated. Dimitri was a ghost, a damn good ghost, and after another month passed of chasing said ghost he had to admit defeat. He didn't have the resources to continue. And with nothing left he found himself back in New York standing in front of the Avengers compound.

Steve's face fell as he stepped off the elevator. "Buck?"

"This is temporary," Bucky warned. "I just need… help. It doesn't change the fact that I want to deal with Jades killer _my way_. And if you don't want to help I'll find another way."

Steve's jaw clenched, the disappointment clearly in his face, but he was never one to turn anyone in need of help away. Especially Bucky. This would give him time, to convince Bucky that there was another way. A right way. So he stepped forward and placed a hand on Bucky's shoulder.

"Welcome home, Jerk."

* * *

Another month had passed on the farm. A month in which Anton had watched Jade pour herself into preparing for the arrival of Baby Barnes. She had been hesitant at first, despite their conversation, to buy anything, but Anton decided all she needed was another push and took it upon himself to buy the first piece of furniture. A crib, a white crib with the highest safety rating and reviews that he could find, and a mattress to accompany it. He put it together himself, only calling her in to see it after he was finished, and hoping it wouldn't set her off like the last time.

It hadn't.

Instead it had ignited the fire in her that he had wanted, seeing the excitement seep into her eyes when she had laid eyes on the crib. She began preparing herself, going into full nesting mode. After that he couldn't keep up with everything that she ordered, packages arrived nearly every day and he saw the limit on the credit card that he had given her to use shrink more and more. He received an allowance from SHIELD that was supposed to provide for Jade and the baby's expenses, and was entirely separate from his own generous paycheck, but it wasn't enough and to his surprise he was offering to pay for things for the baby with his own money.

He told himself to not get excited, especially when Jade's attitude towards him changed and their relationship was almost as friendly as it had been before she had been kidnapped. _Almost._ He had to remind himself that she really _wasn't_ his wife, and she wasn't carrying his baby. This was just a _job_. An apparent permanent job, he had no idea when it would end, but a job nonetheless, and he could not get attached.

But her excitement and change in demeanor had ignited something in _him_ , and with it came a protectiveness. One that had him worrying when he noticed Jade's rapidly declining health. She was growing pale, weaker, and experiencing an unusual amount of fatigue and pain. He caught her struggling to get out bed in the morning and taking naps more often that she was awake. It was why he had called Dr. Fine, asking him to come as soon as he could, though he was already coming once a week. And as he had thought, something was wrong.

"Baby Barnes is a boy. A rapidly growing boy who's literally draining the life out of Jade."

Anton straightened from where he had been leaning against the wall, feeling his stomach sink.

"We have to get that baby out of her. And soon. I'll be calling Fury to tell him we'll be performing a c-section," Fine finished when he said nothing.

Anton blinked. "She's only 6 months pregnant."

"And she's measuring at almost 8 months. The baby is growing too fast. Her body cannot keep up. If we don't get him out, she could die."

That only made the fear and worry within him grow. "Does Jade know?"

Fine shook his head. "I don't want to cause her any more stress. Not until I've made arrangements and figured out just how the hell we are going to perform a c-section _here_. Unless I can convince Fury to let me take her to a hospital," he sighed heavily. "In the meantime she is on strict bed rest. She can only get up for the restroom. I've set up an IV. Keep feeding her and giving her the supplements. Her life is depending on it."

"When are we doing the c-section?" Anton questioned.

"As soon as possible."

He walked Dr. Fine out and went back upstairs to check on Jade finding her in bed as ordered. She had every single pillow in the house propped around her, it was the only thing that helped to make her and her very round pregnant belly comfortable. Her normally honeyed skin was significantly paler and there were dark circles around her eyes, still she did her best to smile weakly at him as he entered.

"Hey," she called as he approached the bed, even her voice sounded hoarse and weak.

"Hey," he sat down on the edge beside her. "So, a boy huh?"

Jade's smile grew, rubbing the swell of her stomach. "Yeah, Baby Barnes is a dude. I should start thinking of names."

"You haven't been already?"

Jade shook her head, her smile fading as she looked down. "It feels wrong without James…" she admitted.

Anton nodded slowly. He tried to be understanding after her previous outburst, trying to show some compassion for her situation. He wasn't a fan of Bucky Barnes, had never been, but he knew Jade loved him. Even if he wasn't good for her or their child.

"How are you feeling?"

She yawned, covering her mouth with one hand. "Tired. Very tired."

She had just woken up from a nap less than an hour ago. This only made the worry in his gut heavier. "You rest. I'll make dinner. Any requests?"

Her face scrunched in a look of disgust. "I don't think I can eat. I've been feeling nauseous."

"Dr. Fine is more concerned about your eating now than ever. So you need _something._ How about some soup? And crackers?"

She still didn't seem thrilled with the idea, but nodded. "Okay."

He moved to rise from the bed when she let out a shocked gasp followed by a sharp hiss of pain, gripping her side. Panic raced through him. "Jade! What is it? What's wrong?"

"Nothing. I'm fine. He's kicking is all," she waved him off with a sigh, trying to readjust herself on the pillows. "You want to feel?"

He hesitated, unable to force himself to think, _this is just a job_. Still he nodded and reached out a timid hand. She took hold of his hand with one of hers, guiding it to the side of her belly and holding it in place with her hand over his. He waited with bated breath to feel something, and the movement came in seconds. A strong kick aimed right at his hand, a kick so strong it, it made his own hand recoil in surprise and sent another hiss of pain through Jade's lips. He looked at her worriedly feeling the pressure of the kick linger in his palm.

She smiled sheepishly. "He's pretty strong, huh?"

Anton nodded rubbing his hand on his jeans. "Feels that way. Tell him to take it easy on his mom," he forced out a chuckle, though he meant every word. "I'm gonna go make that soup."

"Thanks," Jade whispered, settling back into her pillows and shutting her eyes.

Dr. Fine called three days later, while Jade was napping and Anton was out feeding the cows. "We'll be performing the c-section inJades bedroom. I'll have a small team with me that will need access to the room beforehand to sterilize what they can and set up the equipment for the baby."

"You want to perform surgery in a bedroom? Is that safe? What if something goes wrong?"

"Fury doesn't trust Jade to comply if we do this at a hospital and wants to keep her isolated and contained. I don't agree. I think it's insane and unsafe and puts Jade and the baby at unnecessary risk, but I've already told you what can happen if we don't get the baby out of her, so we will work with what we've got."

Anton sighed, feeling his fists clench and a sudden hatred of his boss who he normally admired. "Just tell me what I need to do."

* * *

Dimitri was growing impatient with the waiting. It'd been well over a month since Adrian had told them that Jade was alive and pregnant to boot. A month since the young man had promised him results and that he would deliver Jade's location to him. And so far he had received nothing. Apparently this Nick Fury was keeping her location top secret and no ones save for him knew her location.

The frustration that coursed through him at being stuck at a standstill, in a city that he hated, in a hotel with two men with barely a brain cell between them, had his otherwise resilient patience running thin. There wasn't a day that went by that he didn't consider letting the asset find him to put him out of his misery.

That was until Adrian burst into their hotel room again, looking proud and excited. Dimitri tried not to get his hopes up as he looked up at him from where he sat at the kitchenette table, playing yet another game of poker, with a bored expression. He had little faith in Adrian to begin with.

"You have news?" He asked irritably when Adrian said nothing.

"I know her location. They've been keeping it well hidden, but I've been checking everywhere for a clue, and there recently was an order placed for NICU equipment and what business would SHIELD have ordering hospital equipment for an infant? Sure enough I checked the order and found a delivery address-."

"Get to the point kid. I don't have all day."

"She's in Minnesota. Kellogg, Minnesota," he handed him a paper with an address on it. "And it seems she'll be giving birth soon."


	14. Baby Barnes

Jade was about as thrilled with the idea of an early c-section as Anton expected her to be.

Which was not at all.

She sat on the bed, propped up by four pillows, looking pale and exhausted and irritated as hell. Her arms were crossed over her chest, resting against her large protruding belly.

"It's too early," she answered, there was a bite to her tone, one that said she was seconds away from being irate.

"It may be early, but your son is measuring 8 months."

"That means nothing," she answered, stuttering over her words in a fluster. "He's only been in there 6 months. He's just a big baby is all. It doesn't mean his lungs are developed or-."

"Jade," Anton started stepping forward to back Dr. Fine up.

"No!" She snapped, shaking her head. "There is no way in hell I am letting you take this baby out of me."

Dr. Fine and Anton shared a look. It was Anton who spoke. "If we do not take the baby out...you could die, Jade."

Her face fell in a mixture of shock and disbelief. That was something that Dr. Fine had neglected to tell her. Of course she had noticed his concerned expressions with each check up, as well as his unscheduled visit, which she assumed resulted from Antons worrying. He wasn't as good as hiding it as Dr. Fine was. She also knew that the pregnancy was taking a toll on her. She could feel it down to her bones, Baby Barnes (she'd yet to come up with a name for him) was making her feel weak and tired, but she attributed that to being normal pregnancy symptoms and not something that could kill her. The idea that her own child might kill her was preposterous.

"He is quite literally sucking the life out of you. He's taking whatever nutrients he can from all parts of your body, which is unable to keep up with his serum enhanced growth," Dr. Fine continued at her stunned silence, explaining it in a firm yet sincere tone. "He will continue to take until there is nothing left. And you are very clearly running low."

Jade huffed indignantly, looking between Fine and Anton and refusing to believe his words. She could not have this baby at 6 months pregnant, that went against every medical possibility in the world. There was no way that he could be ready. And _she_ wasn't ready. She had told herself that she would have figured out a way to escape from Fury's prison at some point before she was due. She was supposed to find her way back to James and her family and Iris, knowing that they would protect her from Fury and SHIELD. She wasn't supposed to have this baby on the farm, especially not in an unsterilized bedroom and not with Anton as her birth partner.

"It's not supposed to be like this," she whispered, her head dropping.

Fine approached the bed, sitting on the edge and taking her hand. She was reluctant to let him hold it, but allowed it. She did like Fine after all.

"I know you're scared," He started.

That was an understatement, she was _terrified._ Of having major abdominal surgery. Of what condition Baby Barnes would be in when he came out. Of doing all of this without Bucky.

"But if we don't do this, we could lose you _and_ , potentially, the baby," he continued as she looked at him with watery eyes. "And I am refusing to let that happen. I promise you that if we do this, you and your son will be fine. You have my word."

Jade hesitated, looking into his warm eyes. Every instinct inside of her was telling her this wasn't right, that it was too soon. But she trusted him, and while as a nurse she knew all the risk of major surgery, especially in an unstable and unsterilized environment, if it meant keeping Baby Barnes safe she would do anything.

"Okay," she relented with a heavy sigh. "When do we do this?"

"In four hours you'll be holding your son in your arms," Dr. Fine insisted with a reassuring smile. "My team is already on the way."

The sound of a phone chirping rang in the air, prompting Dr. Fine to pull his out and excuse himself, leaving Jade and Anton alone. The moment the door closed behind the doctor Jade turned her sights on Anton, beckoning him closer with a wave.

"Anton, I need you to promise me something," she said softly, watching him sit near her on the edge of the bed.

"Anything."

Jade blinked as the word left his mouth without any hesitation. Anton's face fell slightly, surprise dawning in his own eyes, clearly shocked at his own devotion to her. Jade was not blind, she could tell that he cared for her, it had been friendly at first, but lately it had seemed like something more. There was a change in the way he looked at her, and a protective aura surrounded him whenever he was near. She knew he cared, and he cared deeply about her and Baby Barnes. And if James Buchanan Barnes didn't exist perhaps (and if they'd met under different circumstances) she could have cared for him in return more than a friend, but James did exist, and he had her heart completely.

"If something happens to me-."

Anton shook his head, almost immediately cutting off her sentence. "Jade, no, we aren't doing this-."

She let her voice rise to speak over him until he exasperatedly fell silent again. "Anton, if something happens to me, promise me that you will find a way to get Baby Barnes to James."

Anton blinked, looking at her with a frown. "Jade-."

"Nick Fury is _not_ raising my kid. And I refuse to let him disappear into the system never knowing who he is or where he came from, and with the government watching him or potentially using him his entire life. He belongs with his family. With his _real_ father. People who will love and protect him. And if I die I need you to do whatever you can to make that happen."

Anton shook his head. "I can't. I-."

Jade sat up with what little strength she could find, her hand clamping onto his forearm and gripping tight in desperation.

"I know it's against your job. I know it could get you in trouble. But _please_ ," the tears that had been sitting in her eyes swelled and threatened to spill. Anton's face fell at the sight. "I don't want my son to grow up without his family."

Jade could see the battle being waged in his eyes and she waited with bated breath to hear his response. A large part of her thought he'd refuse, that he was too loyal to SHIELD and Fury to betray them for her and her sons sake, but to her astonishment he nodded, placing his hand over hers on his forearm.

"If something happens to you I will take Baby Barnes to the Avengers compound and see to it that he gets to his father," he promised with all seriousness to his tone.

She felt an immense relief, a weight lifting from her shoulders. "Thank you, Anton."

He smiled at her timidly. "No problem, Jade."

* * *

True to his word Dr. Fine's team, which consisted of three men, arrived within the hour. Jade was lifted into Anton's arms to be carried out, to wait in his room which she'd never seen before, allowing Fine's team to sterilize her room before bringing her back in to prep her. Anton paced outside the bedroom door, the wooden floor creaking under his repetitive weight, anxiety racking his brain.

He'd made a mistake. He'd been foolish, letting his emotions get the better of him which he'd expressly promised Nick Fury would not happen. It had never happened before, he'd always been able to keep them in check, to do his job diligently and faithfully with no question. But there was something about Jade, something about the way she looked at him and made his heart race just with her eyes, that made him forget _this was just a job._

And now he'd promised to disobey his job, to essentially commit treason, and take Baby Barnes to Bucky if something were to happen to her. Something that would be impossibly, something that could put him behind bars, something that he would have never thought about doing before. And he'd done it for _her._ And he shockingly found a willingness to truly keep his promise should something happen, even though he thought Bucky Barnes was nowhere near capable of caring for a child, especially on his own.

"Anton," Dr. Fine called stepping out of the room, already dressed in scrubs and a cap, eyeing him expectantly. He was holding a set of scrubs in his hand.

Anton shook his head already knowing what he was going to be asked. And the answer was no. Sure he had done two tours in Iraq and had seen many, many, many things, most of which he wished he hadn't, but he didn't think he could stomach watching them cut Jade open. Even for the purpose of birthing a baby.

"I can't, Fine. I-."

"You can. You will. Jade _needs_ you. She has no one, but you. And for all intents and purposes you're her husband and the father to this kid now. This is going to be hard on her, she's already very weak and I'm worried she might not make it through this surgery. And what she needs now is a pillar of strength to lean on and that has to be _you_."

Anton felt as though he'd been slapped in the face, but it also sent a rush of purpose through him. He determinedly took the scrubs.

"Put them on and thoroughly wash your hands and arms with the surgical soap in the bathroom. Touch nothing until you get back to the room. And for god sake don't look scared."

Anton did his best to follow orders, like he'd been taught, but he felt the fear on his face when he walked back into the room. The bedroom had been transformed into an operating room. Every piece of furniture had been removed and been replaced with hospital equipment, even the bed. A large gurney was now in its place, which Jade laid across with a curtain hanging over her chest, to shield her view of Dr. Fine cutting her open. There was monitoring equipment, an incubator for Baby Barnes and a bunch of other things he didn't recognize. Everything you'd need to perform a c-section and care for a preterm baby.

He attempted to steel his nerves, seeing Fine give him a pointed look over his surgical mask and nod towards the head of the gurney. A chair sat near it which he assumed was for him. He moved to sit in it quickly.

Jade turned her head to look at him then, her eyes full of fear and doubt. She reached for his hand without saying a word, entwining her fingers with his, and squeezing tight.

"Jade, were going to begin now," Fine said moving into place. "Can you feel this?" He touched her belly with a gloved hand.

"No," she replied, her voice shaking.

"Good. That's what we want. You shouldn't feel a thing besides some pressure here and there. And this won't take long. Believe it or not I've delivered a baby or two in my time. I just want you to stay calm and look into Anton's blues eyes and we'll have Baby Barnes in your arms in no time."

She nodded at Dr. Fine who winked at her in return.

Anton's heart started to race, looking to Dr. Fine who had turned his eyes on him and was giving him another pointed look, no doubt trying to remind him of the words he had said in the hallway. Anton nodded once and leaned closer to Jade, not wanting to watch, focusing instead on her bright brown eyes.

"Hi," he greeted forcing a smile onto his face though she couldn't see it under the surgical mask.

"Hi," she replied. A single tear slid down her cheek.

Anton felt his heart momentarily seize and squeezed her hand. "Don't be scared. You're going to be just fine. Have you thought of names?"

She shook her head once. "I can't think of any."

"Anton had a nice ring to it," he offered with a smirk.

She huffed, a smile gracing her face. "Seems like a biased opinion."

He shrugged. "It is. My middle name is Yvgeny, which also has a nice ring to it."

"Your parents were big on the Russian names huh?"

Anton chuckled. "My father was Russian, straight from mother Russia, and my mother was American. They met here when my dad immigrated. He could hardly speak a lick of English, but they somehow clicked. My dad insisted I have a strong Russian name despite me never having stepped foot on Russian soil. Hence the name. My mom wanted to name me Asher."

Jade considered it with a nod. "I like Asher. She should have gone with that."

* * *

45 minutes later a newborn cry broke through the air, interrupting Jade and Anton's continued conversation about baby names. She still had not decided. Anton saw Jade give a sigh of relief, her head raising to try and get a glimpse of the baby, but she couldn't see over the curtain.

"Hear that Jade?" Fine called excitedly. "That is your baby boy. He looks and sounds great."

Fine raised the shrieking baby higher, allowing Jade and Anton both to see him. He certainly didn't look preterm at all, instead he looked full term, strong and loud with a head full of dark brown curls. The way Anton's heart swelled in his chest startled him, especially when he felt the accompanying tear that escaped his eye despite his rapid blinks to rid his eyes of the unwanted moisture.

"He's beautiful," he blurted looking down at Jade, who too was crying, giving her hand an excited squeeze.

She nodded. "He really is."

* * *

The house had been relatively easy to find and so had setting up a surveillance post in the woods surrounding it. He had expected more security, but found none. It was just Jade and the SHIELD agent. All alone in the middle of nowhere. Still he did his due diligence, not wanting to rush in half cocked, and opted to survey the property and the agents habits to properly formulate a plan.

With a location he could call in for reinforcements and surveillance equipment, which he promptly had. And he been watching the farm house for four days now, jotting down the bodyguards routine and waiting for a glimpse of Jade.

There hadn't been one yet, but he was, again, a patient man and he knew he would see her eventually. The small man who Adrian had identified as the doctor treating Jade arrived on the fourth day and with him came three more men and a flurry of equipment and movement. Dimitri watched through his binoculars as they brought in the hospital equipment and brought out bedroom furniture.

The cry of a baby, echoing loud enough to picked up by his surveillance equipment came five hours after the doctor had arrived and was like music to his ears.

Finally he'd have the leverage.

Finally he could stop being the hunted and again become the hunter.

Finally he could get the asset to come to him.

He turned to his men, who weren't as patient as him, but were always loyal. They'd been stuck in tents and without a toilet for days while waiting for him to give the word to move on the house.

"We wait for the doctor and the others to leave and then we move. I want Jade _and_ the baby, _alive_ and _unharmed_ ," he demanded. "Kill the bodyguard."


	15. Promises

A/N: this chapter took forever to write and I rewrote it 4xs and I still don't like it but here it is.

* * *

While the beginning of the surgery leading up to the point that Baby Barnes was born had gone well, things quickly took a turn downhill once he was out. Seconds after Fine had lifted him into the air for his mother to see, the monitors around Jade started screeching in alarm. Fine's face fell, his eyes darting to the monitor. He quickly cut the umbilical cord, severing Baby Barnes from his mother and looked him over, quickly going over a mental checklist to make sure the baby was in good health for the moment. After making sure that he was, Fine hurriedly passed off the baby to one of his assistants and frantically began searching for the cause of the problem.

"Jade," Fine called, watching blood quickly fill her abdominal cavity. "Jade, you with me?"

Anton, who had been caught between being stunned by the arrival of Baby Barnes and alarmed by the screeching monitors, tore his eyes from the monitors, looking down at Jade to find her paler than before and unconscious. "Shit, Fine, she's not awake. Jade? Jade!"

Beside him Fine cursed under his breath. "Anton, I need you to take Baby Barnes and leave the room."

He blinked, already shaking his head in protest. He couldn't leave Jade, not like this. "B-But-."

"Do as I say! NOW!" Fine barked irritably, still not bothering to look up from the problem in front of him.

The soldier in Anton had him snapping to attention and following orders like he'd been trained for most of his life. He reluctantly let go of Jade's hand, which he noticed in that moment had gone cold, and rose from his chair approaching Fine's assistant. The weight of a swaddled, and still shrieking, Baby Barnes was placed in his arms before he was hurriedly rushed out the door by the assistant. The door was slammed shut behind him, leaving him standing in the hall with a crying baby and no idea what the hell he was supposed to do.

He had never held a baby before, nor had he cared for one. He forced a deep breath into his lungs and tried to find some paternal instincts within himself, walking carefully down the stairs and making sure to hold the baby securely as he did. He started to pace, maneuvering the baby to rest against his shoulder and bouncing gently, unsure if what he was doing was appropriate, but it felt right.

"Okay little guy," he shushed, patting his back, shocked to find that it was working. "Everything is alright. I know I'm not who you want. Fine is going to fix your mama and then you'll have her and everything will be okay. Yeah, everything is going to be fine."

Fine found him in the nursery three and a half hours later, he had retreated there in a frantic rush when he heard the startling and unfamiliar sounds of a baby pooping. He'd gone through a whole pack of baby wipes cleaning him up and had ripped two diapers trying to get one on him after. He'd managed to get a onesie on him, backwards, but still _on_ nonetheless and rewrapped him into the best burrito he could finding that Baby Barnes preferred that. He was trying to wait to feed Baby Barnes, though there were premade bottles of newborn formula in the pantry, Jade had wanted to be prepared for _anything_ , knowing that Jade wanted to breastfeed the baby, only due to a particularly awkward conversation they'd had when he found her breast pump in the nursery and had asked what in the hell it was.

Fine's scrubs were darkened with blood, so much so that Anton felt his heart seize in his chest at the sight. He resisted the urge to jump to his feet, not wanting to startle the baby that he'd just gotten to settle down and was resting against his chest, right over his heart, which seemed to be the only position he liked. He searched Fine's face for any sign that he'd be offering good news and found none.

"Is she okay?" Anton questioned in a whisper, his body going rigid with worry.

Fine hesitated, sighing and putting his hands on his hips. "Hopefully she will be."

Anton felt his stomach twist, blinking up at the doctor as he approached. " _Hopefully?_ What the hell does that mean?" He was no longer whispering now, his voice had risen and there was a snap to it. He felt Baby Barnes stir a bit in his arms and reminded himself to keep calm.

"She hemorrhaged and lost a lot of blood. Luckily I was prepared for the worst and brought donor blood with me, but she was very close to dying. She's unconscious now and she hasn't woken up," he explained shaking his head. He took a deep breath and Anton saw his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed. "And I don't know if she _will_ wake up."

Anton did rise then, unable to stop himself. Baby Barnes fussed forcing him to begin to pace and bounce. "What do you mean?"

"She lost a lot of blood. There was a long period of time that her levels were so low that there's a chance that her brain wasn't getting enough oxygen due to lack of blood flow. I dont have the proper equipment to check her for brain activity and all we can do now is hope for the best."

"Bullshit, we take her to the hospital then, _now_."

"Fury doesnt want-."

"Fuck what Fury wants. She just had a baby that _needs_ her," he gestured to the infant that had settled back against his chest once he'd started to pace and bounce. "She cannot die."

Dr. Fine's lips formed a hard line. "We shouldn't move her, nor can we explain why we performed a c-section in the middle of nowhere on a 6 month pregnant woman. There will be too many questions. And our number one concern is still Jade's safety. If word gets out, the Avengers might catch wind of it and show up. So we wait and see. I hate this as much as you do, Anton."

Anton huffed, an unprecedented amount of anger coursing through him. "Do you doc? Because you should have never done this. We both should have told Fury that performing a c-section in a damn farmhouse in the middle of nowhere on a woman carrying a baby that was literally slowly killing her probably wasn't a good fucking idea!"

Dr. Fine approached hesitantly, his face sincere. "Anton, I know you care about Jade. I promise that I do as well and I did everything that I could."

Anton ignored him, fuming and pacing, bouncing and shushing the baby.

"I can see that you are stressed. Why don't you let me take the baby? I need to examine him anyway. You can take a break-."

Anton felt a wave of protectiveness wash over him, holding the baby closer and glaring at Fine. "Examine him for who? For Fury? To take some of his blood and use it to synthesize more serum? There is no fucking way I am letting you touch this baby. Jade wouldn't want that."

Dr. Fine shook his head. "We're on the same side, Anton. I promise. I don't want any harm to come to him. Jade trusts me. You trust me too, remember?"

"You know Doc, I am not so sure I do anymore," Anton admitted. "And I'm inclined to kick you the hell out of my house."

Fine sighed. "That would be a mistake. For Jade's sake I should be here."

As much as he hated to admit it, Fine was all they had and could be the only thing keeping Jade alive. He wasn't sure he trusted him anymore, the same way that he no longer trusted Nick Fury, but he had to work with what he had until Jade was better. Either way no one would lay a finger on the baby besides him until his mother woke up.

"The baby is fine. You worry about keeping his mother alive."

"Anton-."

"You are not touching him," Anton cut him off through clenched teeth. "Now get out of here."

With a reluctant sigh and frown Fine left the room, leaving Anton alone with the baby and, again, no idea what the hell he was supposed to do.

* * *

Fine sent the assistants away, but stayed himself to monitor Jade. He'd offered to help Anton, who was struggling with a lack of sleep and caring for a newborn with no knowledge of how to care for a newborn, but was turned down everytime. Anton developed the best routine that he could, setting reminders to go off every two hours so he knew to feed the baby, changing him after he did. He hadn't showered and he hadn't eaten, nor had he put the baby down save for when the night came and he tried to get what sleep he could, locking himself in the nursery and sleeping in the rocking chair while Baby Barnes slept in his crib. He would wake of course, needing to be changed and to eat and usually spent the rest of the night curled up against Anton's chest in the rocking chair. Anton only caught minutes of sleep at a time then, too scared that he'd drop the baby in his sleep or hurt him somehow, but Baby Barnes refused to be put back in the crib.

Jade awoke four days later, groggy and disoriented and in pain. Though she was still weak, she looked better than she had when she was pregnant, some of the color having returned to her face. The first words from her lips were in question of where her son was and after Fine gave her a quick examination to make sure that all was as well as it could be, he went downstairs to let Anton know she was awake.

He'd bolted for the stairs before Fine had actually finished the sentence, stopping when he remembered that Baby Barnes was asleep in the bassinet beside the couch and turning back to get him. Her face lit up the moment he stepped into the room carrying the baby, immediately offering him to her open arms.

"He's been impatiently waiting for you to wake up," Anton chuckled, stopping himself from saying _we_. Because he's been impatiently waiting too.

Jade's eyes were full of love and adoration as she looked down at the baby in her arms. She'd given birth to Bucky's little doppelgänger, seeing more James in him than herself. His skin was fair, his head covered in short loose brown curls and when he stirred and blinked up at her, she saw his father's blue eyes. Her heart was suddenly very full, so much so that she felt she had no room for anything else, there was only him. The only piece of Bucky she still had.

"He's still perfect. My little James," she whispered more to herself than anyone else, running her hand gently over his curls.

Anton shifted uncomfortably when he heard what she called him, another reminder that he really was an unwanted stand in. "Decided on a name then?"

Jade couldn't look away from her son. "A first name at least. He looks so much like James it seems a shame for him to not share his name," she chuckled to herself. "Besides if he will never know him I want him to have something of the man he came from…" she trailed off with a small shake of her head, blinking away tears that he saw her trying to hide.

She shifted the baby in her arms, wincing slightly when he brushed against her still healing abdomen and looked at Anton. "Dr. Fine says you've been taking care of him all on your own while I was… asleep."

He nodded. "Yeah. He doesn't like for me to sleep very much and he eats like a horse, but… he's pretty great."

Jade smiled at him and he felt his heart flutter. "Thank you, Anton. I don't know what we'd do without you."

Those words were his undoing. He knew then in that moment he was doomed. Doomed to love her when she would most likely never love him in return, doomed to care for a kid that didn't belong to him and ultimately would probably be taken away from him. He suddenly regretted every part he played to get her and the baby there.

"You're welcome," he answered after a beat of silence. "I'm just glad you're okay."

Her eyes had left him and were back on her baby who was staring up at her, cooing softly, more alert than she'd ever seen any newborn be. But baby James wasn't like any newborn there had ever been.

"I'm glad I'm okay too," she whispered.

Fine entered the room again, interrupting their moment much to Anton's chagrin. "Jade, if it's alright with you I'd like to examine the baby now?"

Jade blinked. "Why? Haven't you already? Is there something wrong?"

Fine shook his head, offering a disarming smile. "Not at all. Baby Barnes-."

"Jamie," she interrupted. "We'll call him Jamie."

Fine smiled. " _Jamie_ appears to be a strong healthy boy. Anton has just been…" he paused to look at Anton hesitantly. "Protective of him since you were in an unstable condition. He wanted to respect your wishes. Now that you are awake and can consent I'd just like to check him over if you'd allow it."

She was hesitant to hand him over, especially given that she had already missed the first four days of his life and was holding him for the very first time; but she also wanted him to be okay. She did so reluctantly, feeling like a part of herself was being taken from her. She waited quite impatiently, feeling a pang in her heart when Jamie began to fuss, letting out a breath that she hadn't realized she'd been holding until he was back in her arms.

"Just as I expected he is quite perfect. Anton tells me that he has a healthy appetite, probably due to the serum speeding up his metabolism. I'd let him feed on demand as much as he wants to make sure he is getting his fill. I'd like to check him and his weight weekly at first, just to make sure that he is thriving. We've never had a super serum enhanced child before and I'd like to be extra cautious."

"Are you leaving?" Jade asked worriedly.

Fine nodded. "Yes, you both appear to be doing well and I feel I might have overstayed my welcome," he glanced warily at Anton who frowned at him. Jade watched the interaction curiously. "As for you mom, you'll need to stay in bed and let that incision and the rest of your body recover. No heavy lifting and I'll teach you how to clean and dress it the wound. I need you to take it easy and _let Anton help_ ," he added a serious stare to accent that order. "I will be back in a week. But as always, you can have Anton call me if you have any concerns or questions. I'll have my team come tomorrow to remove the medical equipment so that you can have your bedroom back."

"Does Fury know?" Jade questioned hesitantly. "Does he know Jamie is here?"

Fine shook his head. "I haven't reported it yet. He knows I planned for a c section, but I told him I was unsure of when I would do it. I will give you both another week to bond. I imagine that once Fury and his bosses know little Jamie has arrived, they might come poking around."

* * *

After Fine provided care instructions for Jade's incision and left, Anton moved her to his bedroom so she'd be more comfortable. He offered to sleep on the couch until her room was back in order, and stepped out to allow her time to bond with her son, even though he found that a part of him hated not having the weight of the baby in his arms. He took a long awaited shower and busied himself with catching up on the neglected farm work, working outside for four hours straight and only coming in to wash up and make Jade dinner.

The sound of Jamie crying met his ears the moment he walked in the house, an unusual sense of alarm rushing through him. He took the stairs two at a time, pausing to knock before entering. Jade was on his bed, propped up with pillows, cradling the screeching infant in her arms with tears streaming down her own face. She looked up at him helplessly.

"He won't stop crying. He just… I tried feeding him and changing him and rocking him as best I could, but he won't stop," she blubbered past tears. "I don't know what I'm doing wrong. I mean I work with babies, babies like me-." She stopped short and shook her head, wiping at her tears. "And I'm crying too which isn't helping jackshit."

"Hey," Anton said softly wiping his palms across his jeans. "It's alright. You both have been through a lot, especially you, you can cry if you'd like."

She huffed. "I don't want to cry. I want my kid to like me."

"He does," Anton assured coming closer to the bed and opening his arms. "Will you let me hold him?"

Jade hesitated again, but placed Jamie in his arms, noting the way Anton sighed, almost in relief like, when he received him. He shifted the baby, placing him in the position he knew he loved, right against his chest and over his heart, calming the baby instantly. Jades face fell and she huffed again, this time petulantly, and wiped more tears away.

"Great," she threw her hands up, wincing at the sudden movement that irritated her incision. "He likes you more than he likes me."

"Nah, he's just a… particular little guy," Anton insisted. "He likes to be held a certain way and he likes a lot of movement. Lots of walking and bouncing." He demonstrated the movements.

"You know more about my own child than I do," Jade whispered shaking her head and crossing her arms.

"Only because I've spent every moment of the last four days with him. I just got a head start on a relationship with him, that's all."

She tried to not let how much that bothered her show on her face. She liked Anton, as a friend once she overlooked the fact that he was basically her captor, but the fact that her son seemed more comfortable in his arms than her own made her blood boil. Still she couldn't ignore that he cared, that he had taken care of Jamie while she fought for her life for four days, that he had protected him and wanted to respect her wishes even when she couldn't. She could see in his eyes how much he cared her son already.

And for some reason _that_ part didn't bother her.

"Will you help me? Will you show me what he likes?" she asked hesitantly, feeling like a fool for needing a crash course on how to care for her own child.

Anton nodded. "Of course."

* * *

Night fell on the farm and by some miracle, Jamie had fallen asleep easily and was resting comfortably on Anton's bed surrounded by a fortress of pillows. Jade was asleep beside him, curled on her side, her hand on the baby's chest to feel his breathing and the beat of his heart. Anton was draped across the foot of the bed, having dozed off while talking to Jade.

An alarm woke him, loud and blaring and startling. He sat up before he was fully awake, his brain struggling to catch up to his body, and remember just what the hell that alarm meant. And then it hit him. _Perimeter breach._ Someone's tripped the sensors that surround the property, it's silent from the outside, but alerts him within the house. Fury had them installed in case Jade had tried to run, and if someone, like the Avengers, had tried to sneak onto the property.

Beside him Jade awoke too, sitting up too quickly and sending pain shooting through her abdomen, which she ignored because her maternal instincts were screaming at her to get Jamie safely in her arms.

"What the hell is that?" She shouted over the alarm.

He didn't answer, jumping from the bed running to the double doored closet and throwing the doors open. Jade's face fell in surprise as four large monitors are revealed, displaying rotating camera footage of every inch of the property, including the inside. Beside the monitors are a barrage of guns, ranging from handgun size to large assault rifles, organized by size and hung neatly on racks. She'd had no idea that this was hiding in his closet.

Before she can ask him about it he's typing quickly on the keyboard beneath the monitors, silencing the alarm and ordering one screen to display a different camera showing multiple men in gear and armed moving silently across the field. Her heart seized in her chest as a man she recognized passed the camera, walking behind the rest, cockily and with a smile, wearing barely any gear, but holding a gun.

 _Dimitri._

Her body is reacting before she can think, trying to jump from the bed, but immense pain shot through her, leaving her gasping and stuck in the bed. She can't walk yet, not without help, and she'd have to go very slowly, Fine had warned. She was in no condition to run, let alone hold a baby while doing so.

Anton muttered curses under his breath donning a bullet proof vest he's pulled from somewhere in the closet. "We have to get to the panic room."

"Panic room?" She stuttered.

"In the basement. It's big, made of steel and impenetrable. Once inside they can't get in. We'll be safe," he answered absently, grabbing a handgun, sliding a clip into it and cocking it. He tucked it into the back of his jeans and grabs the larger assault rifle, loading and cocking it as well, and putting more clips of ammo in his pockets. "We've got less than 5 minutes to get down there. Let's go."

She shook her head. "I-I can't run. I can't move that fast. I'm too slow-."

He approached her quickly, a sense of urgency in each step, setting the assault rifle down and tried to lift them both into his arms. He froze when she screamed loudly in pain, easing her back onto the bed. She wasn't moving and he'd counted at least 6 men, not including Dimitri. He was skilled, but they wouldn't stand a chance, not with Jamie in his arms too.

"Take him," she said quickly, holding the baby out to him. "Take him to the panic room and leave me here."

"Are you crazy? I'm not leaving you-."

"If you try to fight you'll die and they'll take us both," she cut him off and again offered the baby. "This way, they just get me. They've taken me before. I'll be fine."

Anton huffed in disbelief. "Jade, I'm not-."

"Take him!" She shouted impatiently, her eyes watery and wide. "You have too. Take him and go to the compound like you promised. Once Bucky knows I'm alive he will come for me. I will be okay. But we can't let them get him. So you take him and protect him and do as you promised."

The reluctance was bright in his eyes, but he took the baby, cradling him to his chest and looking down at her as he shook his head. The tears were falling down her face now even though she tried to smile at him.

"Tell Bucky his name is James. James Asher Barnes."

 _Asher_. What was once supposed to be his name. Anton felt his heart flutter in his chest and he had to swallow back the urge for his eyes to water. When had he become such an emotional fool? The emotions he'd been struggling to hold back swarmed him then, taking him over and taking control. He could no longer deny how he felt about her or the baby. He cared, and cared too deeply. And then he went and did the dumbest thing, which only made matters worse.

He kissed her.

One hand on her cheek, leaning over the baby in his arms and pressing his lips right to hers. She went rigid with surprise, unmoving and wide eyed. He pulled back before she could do anything, kiss him back or push him away, feeling his face heat with embarrassment at his own rash actions. She blinked up at him, swallowing so loudly he could hear it, but said nothing.

"I will find you." The words left his mouth without him really thinking of them. But he meant every word. He wouldn't leave it up to Barnes. He'd come for her. He'd rescue her himself.

She hesitated, uncertainty bright in her eyes, but nodded once, blinked past her tears, and reached out to touch her son once more, fingers brushing across her cheek, then shooing him away.

His legs felt heavy as he rushed down the stairs, carefully balancing the baby and the gun. He didn't think to stop and grab formula which would bite him in the ass later when the panic room programming would prevent him from opening the door for at least two hours after lock down. A safety measure that didn't exactly seem safe. There was everything an adult would need to survive in there, even a working toilet and sink as well as means to contact reinforcements. Which he didn't plan to do, he'd made a promise, a promise he intended to keep, and that promise didn't include alerting Nick Fury to what'd happened. At least not right a way.

* * *

Her lips were still tingling from the foreign kiss. It hadn't caused an immense stir of feelings in her, not like when Bucky kissed her, but she'd felt something and she wasn't sure what.

But she couldn't think about it now.

Not when she could hear the sounds of Dimitri's men entering the house below. Her heart pounded in her chest and she silently prayed that Anton and Jamie had made it to the panic room, out of Dimitri's reach and the danger. She was sure that it wasn't a coincidence that he was showing up after she'd given birth. Although she didn't know how he had found them when Bucky couldn't. He'd probably been lying in wait, plotting and planning, like he'd done before, waiting for when she least expected him. And considering she was told everyone thought she was dead, she certainly hadn't been expecting him.

She wasn't as afraid she thought she would be. She fully trusted Anton to take Jamie to Bucky and for Bucky to then find her. It seemed like the perfect plan, it'd get Jamie to safety, it would let Bucky know she was alive and when he came to rescue her Fury's plan would blow up in his face. Everyone would know what he did and she'd be with Bucky again. She didn't expect Dimitri to kill her, he'd want to use her as leverage against Bucky, again. He might hurt her, or worse assault her, but she was no good to him dead. And she'd endure whatever she had to if it meant keeping Jamie out of Dimitri's hands.

Two soldiers entered the room first, weapons drawn, making her jump. One of them spoke Russian into the walkie talkie attached to his chest and then heavy footsteps sounded up the stairs.

Her nightmare walked into the room seconds later, a smile on his face, green eyes glowing with triumph and malice. " _домашнее животное_ ," he drawled approaching the bed. Her skin crawled at hearing him call her that again. "How good of you to be here waiting for me. Like my good girl."

Her teeth clenched hard, hard enough that her jaw strained. She found she was more angry than afraid.

"I have missed you, домашнее животное," he rounded the bed coming to stand at her side, switching the handgun in his hand to the opposite to reach out and brush a finger across her cheek. She flinched away making him chuckle. "Have you missed me?"

She remained silent, her heart still pounding, her eyes glaring daggers up at him.

"I hear you had a baby. Tell me, where is the little bundle of joy? And the bodyguard?" He looked around the room as if expecting them to miraculously pop out of hiding.

"Gone," she answered shortly, anger dripping into her voice.

"Gone, eh? And they leave you behind?" He asked with an arched eyebrow.

"I'm not as important as the baby," she replied. It was the truth. Her own life mattered very little to her in comparison to her son. "He's gone. You can't get to him. You tripped an alarm coming onto the property. Alerting them to your presence and giving them time to escape. I'm sure they'll be calling or have already called reinforcements so I suggest you get the hell out of here while you still can before you spend the rest of your days rotting in a cell like you deserve."

Dimitri's face fell slightly before he sucked his teeth, shaking his head. He paced for a moment considering his options. "I was hoping to get my hands on you and your child, but I guess that means just you will have to do. You're still a prize all by yourself, домашнее животное. The актив will come for you. Once he knows you're alive. I imagine all the Avengers will. And I'll be waiting and ready to deal with all of them. Get up."

She shook her head. "I can't."

"And why is that?"

"They cut the baby out of me. I'm still healing. I can't walk."

Dimitri chuckled, holstering the handgun and bending down to lift her into his arms wedding style. She shrieked in pain, clinging to his bullet proof vest reluctantly.

"I guess that means I don't have to worry about you running off then?" He laughed carrying her from the room.

* * *

Even with all of Starks fancy technology there apparently were still _limits_ as Steve aptly put it, and Dimitri remained a ghost. To keep from going out of his mind with rage he put his efforts towards taking down Hydra bases with the help of Steve, doing it the ' _right way'_ , figuring that with each base they took down they were one step closer to finding Dimitri.

When he wasn't taking down Hydra bases he was in his room in solitude or he was in the gym. He had little interests outside of finding Dimitri, that included maintaining the friendships he once had with the rest of the team though Steve still forced it. He'd come into his room and just sit in there, quietly drawing or reading or watching whatever Bucky was, but forcing his presence on Bucky nonetheless. And if he weren't in his room he would find him in the gym and workout alongside him. Bucky didn't bother fighting it or asking him to leave, he knew Steve wouldn't and if he had to admit it he did find some comfort in having his friend close.

He was in the gym, where he had been for the past hour, punching on his third punching bag, rather than sleeping. The first two lay on the floor, bursting at the seams. It was nearing midnight, and there still was no sign of fatigue in sight. He was contemplating going for a run when a voice interrupted him.

"Sergeant Barnes."

He froze mid punch, using one hand to stop the bag from swinging right into him. Joseph, an old trainee who he had trained himself, and now worked security for the building, was standing at the door looking nervous. It seemed that everyone walked on eggshells around him lately. He was more volatile than he used to be.

"Yeah?"

"There is someone at the front desk, Sir. He tried to get in with an old expired ID."

Bucky arched an eyebrow. "Tell Stark."

"The thing is, Sir, he's asking for you specifically."

He frowned, feeling irritated at this intrusion on his work out and curious as to who would be asking for him and at this late hour. Turning on his heel he headed for the entrance, waving for the young man to follow. He waited till they were in the elevator heading to main floor to speak.

"Did he give a name?"

"No, Sir."

"What does he look like?"

"Tall, dark hair, blue eyes, okay looking guy," Joseph shrugged.

The description rang no bells for Bucky. But it sent a sense of alarm through him. They'd infiltrated many a HYDRA base in the past few months. What if it was a suicide bomber of some kind? He held out his hand to Joseph.

"Give me your weapon." He wasn't going to be too cautious.

Joseph blinked, but fumbled with his holster to hand it over. "Do you think he's a threat, Sir?"

"Yes, F.R.I.D.A.Y wake up Stark and Captain Rogers and send them to the security station. Tell them it's an emergency," He cocked the gun.

"Right away, Sergeant Barnes."

The elevator doors opened with a ding, Bucky stepped off first, rounding the corner to reception and security, catching sight of the man in question.

It only took seconds for Bucky to recognize him, even from the back. He felt his face fall and was blurting the name in surprise even as he raised the gun to aim because this man, the man who had been responsible for keeping the woman he loved alive, and who had failed, was supposed to be dead.

"Anton?"

Anton turned then, his face falling when he saw the gun aimed at him. He raised his hands to chest level and sighed. "Sergeant Barnes," he greeted as if he weren't a man who was supposed to be dead.

Bucky's stomach twisted and then sunk into the pits of his body. His face contorted somewhere between confusion and anger, his finger tightening on the trigger because the desire to shoot this man was strong. But he needed answers, the most pertinent question being _how the hell was he still alive_ when he was pronounced very much dead.

"How the hell are you alive?"

Anton hesitated. "Well-."

His sentence was cut off by a cry. A loud cry from somewhere behind him. Anton jumped, stepping to the side, looking down at the car seat at his feet that he'd been purposely blocking with his body. Bucky watched in continued confusion as Anton lowered his hands and fumbled with the car seat trying to get the baby out.

 _A baby? He'd brought a baby?_

Behind him the elevator doors dinged, Tony and Steve stepped off, approaching the situation with matching frowns. It wasn't until Anton straightened, the fussing baby now in his arms, allowing them to see his identity that Bucky heard an audible gasp from each of them.

"Anton," Tony balked. "What the hell-?"

"You're supposed to be dead," Steve stuttered.

"Look, I know. It's a long story, but we don't have time for this. Jade is in trouble."

Bucky's blood ran cold. "Jade is alive?"

"Yes. She was taken by Dimitri. I'm not supposed to be here but I made a promise to her. I promise I have to keep."

Bucky was struggling to keep up. "Wait, what? What promise?"

Anton stepped forward, allowing Bucky a better view of the baby in his arms. The first thing he noticed was the brown curls. A strange sensation of familiarity rushed through him, his stomach flipping.

"I promised her that…" Anton paused, looking down at the baby, hesitance bright in his eyes. "I promised Jade, that I would bring your son to you."


	16. Hope

Jade didn't know how long she'd traveled for or where she'd traveled to. After Dimitri had carried her out of the safe house and placed her, quite painfully, in a large black SUV, they'd promptly put a black cloth over her head and she felt the unmistakable pinch of a needle in her arm. Everything had gone dark then. She'd been in and out of unconsciousness ever since.

She was grateful for that because without her pain medication and with the constant movement she was in agony whenever she awoke, even briefly. Her incision was tender and ached with a sharp pain, she hadn't eaten or had anything to drink since she left the farm, which left her feeling weak. She let sleep take her whenever she could get it, and it came easily in her weakened state.

She awoke a final time in what easily looked like a real hospital room, but she refused to let herself be fooled. She knew Dimitri wouldn't take her to a hospital, she imagined she was in some HYDRA facility. She blinked past lingering drowsiness, taking in the comfort of the hospital bed beneath her and the monitors and IV attached to her. When her eyes went to do a sweep of the room she saw Dimitri standing near the door, which was large and made of steel with only a tiny barred window, leaning casually on the wall.

He was wearing a smile that made her stomach ache, malice in his eyes. "Ah, she wakes, finally," Dimitri said looking her over. "How nice of you to join us once again, домашнее животное."

She remained silent, having no interest in playing his games. She wished to go back to sleep, though she surprisingly felt no pain, only mild weakness and hunger, she wanted to spend as much time as Dimitri's hostage in a state of unconscious as possible until Bucky came to her rescue and brought her home to her son. She silently prayed that Anton had kept his word, that he had taken Jamie to Bucky and told him the truth of what happened, that this would all be over soon.

"How are you feeling?" Dimitri asked when she ignored his previous statement.

"What does it matter to you?" She asked, her teeth clenched.

Dimitri's grin widened, he pushed off the wall and approached her. "I see that you are still feisty."

She frowned.

"I'm sure you remember that I like my girls with some fight in them," he touched her leg, and even through the blanket it made her skin crawl.

"Don't touch me," she growled, pulling her leg away.

He chuckled in response, his eyes taking in her form. "I think you forget in your time away from me that you belong to _me_ ," he said, the tone of his voice dark and threatening. "And as soon as you are well enough that I won't truly hurt you I intend to remind you of that."

She swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat and tried not to let the fear show in her eyes or on her face.

"I have plans for you, домашнее животное," he continued, reaching out to brush her cheek with his fingers. She tried to turn her head away, but his smile only grew and his fingers followed. "Just you wait and see."

* * *

 _Jade is alive._

That single thought blared repeatedly in Bucky's mind as he paced worriedly, arms crossed and jaw clenched tight. Anton was speaking, though he sounded distant in Bucky's ears, the gist of it all registering, but at the back of his mind.

Nick Fury, Anton's boss, the director of SHIELD, and a person that Bucky had never met, had taken the woman that he loved; who was pregnant with his child and held her in a safe house in Minnesota after faking her death, threatening her with imprisonment if she tried to let anyone know she was alive. Anton expressed that it had been done with the intention of keeping Jade safe, Bucky, and his love for her, being what they wanted to keep her safe from.

But now she was gone. Taken by the one man that Bucky had foolishly thought was their only enemy and still hadn't protected her from.

Tony and Steve had stopped the questioning in the lobby, opting to finish the discussion in a conference room. He and Steve sat around the conference table now, still in their pajamas, but listening intently to Anton's every word. Bucky couldn't bring himself to sit, pacing was the only thing keeping him from putting his hands around Anton's neck, which he had a strong desire to do.

"Bucky."

He stopped his pacing, his head snapping up at the quiet call of Steve's voice. He realized then that all eyes were on him, including Anton's, who was still holding the baby that was supposedly his son. He had to believe it because he felt a startling sense of familiarity whenever he looked at the baby, though he had only seen his profile from the way that Anton held him, close and to his chest. He couldn't believe that in the four months that Jade had been gone, his son had grown inside of her that quickly and been born and he had missed it all.

"Yeah?"

"Are you okay?" Steve asked softly, his face a mask of concern.

Bucky was anything but okay. He nodded anyway and cleared his throat. "I'm...processing," he answered approaching the table. "How is _he_ here?" He motioned to the child who was dozing peacefully in Antons arms. "Jade was barely pregnant when...you took her," he gritted out. "She should still be pregnant."

Anton hesitated. "Well...He was killing Jade. Sucking the life right out of her because of how fast he was growing and how strong he was. Her body couldn't handle it. So Dr. Fine performed an emergency c-section to save Jade and he came out perfectly fine and healthy even though she was only 6 months pregnant. Jade…" Anton shook his head, looking down at the baby. "Jade almost died in the process, she hemorrhaged after Fine got him out, but she woke up four days later and that was when Dimitri came."

Bucky's stomach twisted at the thought of all Jade had endured without him by her side, _again_. "And she asked you to bring…" his eyes fell to the baby.

"Jamie," Anton answered the silent question. "She named him James...after you, but she called him Jamie."

The thought of his son being named after himself made his heart flutter, but he didn't have time to get emotional. "She asked you to bring Jamie to me?"

"Yes, she made me promise."

"And you kept that promise?" Tony cut in skeptically.

Anton's jaw clenched, but he nodded. "Yes. I made her a promise and I had to keep it."

"Even if it makes you a traitor to your government that was basically doing everything in its power to keep the fact that she was alive from us?" Steve added.

Anton shifted in his chair, his eyes on Jamie once more. He didn't say anything, but his face gave him away. Bucky realized rather quickly why Anton was willing to be labeled a traitor, to put himself at risk against his own country and government. Anton could have easily betrayed Jade, he could have handed Jamie over to Nick Fury and Bucky would have never known that Jade was alive or that his son existed. But he hadn't. He had fulfilled a promise to a woman that he had no obligation to, that was just supposed to be a job, and had put himself in danger in the process. Bucky could see it in his eyes and the way that he held Jamie so closely.

"You love her," Bucky huffed with a shake of his head, eyeing the man sat before him.

Antons eyes darted up then, looking into his own and it was all the confirmation that he needed. Anger swept through him with a fierceness that had his fists clenching. Anton had taken everything from him, kept him from Jade when she needed him most, kept her from her family and friends and her life, and he had the nerve to sit there holding a child that didn't belong to him and have feelings for its mother who he held hostage. Bucky wanted nothing more than to rip him from that chair and put his metal arm to use on his face, repeatedly.

The only thing that saved him was the fact he was holding his son.

There was a tense silence that followed Anton's silent confession, all eyes on Bucky, everyone waiting with bated breath for him to respond or do something. Instead of following the urges within himself, he forced a deep breath into his lungs and thought about the most important thing at the moment: _finding Jade_.

He'd deal with Anton later.

"How long ago was Jade taken?" Bucky questioned.

Anton blinked, looking momentarily puzzled by the change of subject. "She was taken four days ago."

 _Four days_. Plenty of time for Dimitri to get her out of the country. "When she was taken, was she wearing a necklace?"

Anton's brow furrowed at the question, not understanding its relevance.

Bucky continued at his silence. "It was a silver chain with a silver heart pendant on it? Was she wearing it?"

Anton knew just the one that he spoke of. He had seen it hanging from her neck and caught her holding it in her fist often. He should have known that it was from Bucky that way she held it so dearly and refused to take it off. "Yes, she was wearing a necklace. She never took it off."

Bucky looked relieved. "I gave it to Jade for our three month anniversary," he explained at their puzzled looks. "I had it specially made here in the Starks labs by one of your guys," he nodded to Tony who arched an eyebrow. "I worried that Dimitri would come for her again so I had a tracking chip placed inside the heart. Just in case. If she's wearing it, we can find her."

"And this tracker, it was coordinated to work with FRIDAY?" Tony asked.

"If the geniuses in your lab did it right then I'm hoping so," Bucky answered.

Tony jumped up from his chair. "I will get FRIDAY on it right now," he made for the door when he paused and looked back at Anton, then to Bucky and Steve. "What are we doing about him?"

"We get Jade back first, then we deal with Anton and Nick Fury. But in the meantime, Mr. Sokolov won't be going anywhere," Steve answered rising from his chair with a pointed look at Anton.

"Got it," Tony replied dipping out of the room.

Two sets of blue eyes fell back on Anton. The tension in the room high.

"I just want to get Jade back home, that's all. I'm not here to cause anymore trouble," Anton insisted.

"Good, because you've caused enough," Steve replied, the anger seeping into his tone. "And I think it's time you hand over the baby."

Anton's face fell, Bucky noticing the way his fingers dug into the blanket wrapped around Jamie. Bucky tried not to let the fact that Anton felt some sort of claim to his son and a protectiveness he had no right to have, bother him. He'd have to be grateful that Anton did care because Anton's feelings for Jade were the only reason he knew she was alive and he was in the very same room as his son. He tried to soften his face as he stepped toward Anton, his hands out to receive Jamie, while his heart thudded away in his chest. The idea of holding something he thought he'd never have and believed was taken from him months ago was daunting. Especially when it was such a tiny and fragile looking infant. He tried to remember the last time, or if he'd _ever_ , held a baby.

Anton rose slowly from the chair, the reluctance written all over his face. He stepped toward Bucky and carefully placed the weight of his son in his hands, the baby fussing, which only sent Bucky's heart racing faster. Anton's hands lingered on the baby until he was sure Bucky had a good hold on him and then he stepped back feeling an ache in his chest at the thought of never holding Jamie again.

Bucky stared down at his son with wide eyes full of awe, feeling like an overwhelming amount of emotion was being forced through him. He soaked in his sons features, just how small he was, the way he favored him most of all with little hints of Jade in his features. He stood frozen, scared to move at first until Jamie fussed and wiggled which had Anton stepping toward him with worry. Bucky passed him a warning glance that made Anton step backwards again, and followed his instincts, drawing the baby in, right against his chest as he'd seen Anton do. His heart swelled when Jamie relaxed against him, cooing softly, his tiny hand curling into a fist on his chest.

It all felt right in that moment, the feel of his tiny heartbeat over his own and the feel of him in his arms. Without thinking he was bending his head, pressing his nose into the soft brown curls atop his son's head and breathing in his smell. He smelt of Jade and something else, something he couldn't name, but smelt like innocence to him. The amount of love and adoration that poured into his heart was unprecedented, nearly knocking the wind right out of him. He didn't think he could ever care about something so much until that moment.

He looked up to see Steve had come closer and was staring down at his son smiling proudly. "He's perfect."

Bucky nodded in agreement. "He sure is."

Steve's eyes surveyed him, his smile growing. "This is a good look for you, Buck."

He smiled in return, the action feeling foreign on his face. A smile hadn't graced his face in a long, _long_ , time. Hope filled him to the brim, hope that he would find Jade and bring her home, that he could have his family back. Hope that he could turn this all around and get a happy ending for once. He usually fought hope, normally finding himself disappointed at the way things in his life turned out, but this time he let it flood him. And if, god forbid, something really happened to Jade and he was unable to bring her home, he still had Jamie.

"It feels good," he admitted aloud holding his son a little tighter, careful to make sure it wasn't too tight. "Now let's go get his mom. I want my family back."


	17. Rescue

**NO LOCATION DETECTED.**

Bucky's stomach twisted at the sight of those words projected into the air via Stark's workstation. FRIDAY had been scanning in search of Jade's tracking device for a good ten minutes while he waited with Steve and Tony, his son in his arms. They had left Anton in the conference room with two security guards outside of the door, giving them strict orders that Anton was not to leave the room under any circumstances.

Bucky turned to Tony with an almost desperate look, feeling his hopes shattering in his chest. "I don't understand. Your guys assured me it would work."

"Hold on there, let's not get all worked up just yet. Perhaps it's just not emitting a signal right now, which could be due to a number of reasons," Tony answered waving Bucky off. "FRIDAY, can you tell me the last location that Jade's device was pinged at? To the nearest city or country, please."

"Certainly boss," she answered. A holographic map of the globe appeared in thin air, zooming in on a country before a red dot blinked on as specific city. "Jade's tracking device stopped signaling in Bratislava, Slovakia."

"And how long ago was that?"

"36 hours boss."

"Hey Fri, can you detect if Jade's tracker is still _on_?"

"One moment, boss...the tracker is active, the signal is blocked, boss."

"Thanks Fri," Tony answered absently. Bucky could see the gears working in Tony's head. "My guess is that they've taken Jade to a HYDRA base, one that is blocking the signal of the tracker. Meaning that she is somewhere near this city. You remember any HYDRA bases or safe houses being located in Bratislava?"

Bucky hesitated. "Not off the top of my head. I wrote everyone that I remembered down a while back, Steve has the list."

"And I uploaded that list to FRIDAY," Steve said motioning to the globe.

"FRIDAY show me the location of the HYDRA bases from the list that are nearest to Bratislava." Within seconds four red dots pinged in the vicinity of the city. Tony sucked his teeth. "Well looks like we got some hunting to do boys. She has to be at one of these locations."

"I'll wake the team, we head out tonight," Steve said moving for the door.

"Woah, woah, woah," Tony said raising his hands. "I know you're eager to get Jade back, but there is the issue of going into this blindly-."

"If you don't want to go Stark, I will go alone," Bucky said determinedly.

"You aren't going alone. I'm coming too," Steve added.

"Easy there, that's not what I am saying," Tony frowned. "I'm saying we need to formulate some sort of plan instead of rushing in there half cocked and getting ourselves killed. How would that help Jade? Now, we have the element of surprise going for us, I hope, although I assume Dimitri knows we're coming for her, but we need more than that. And also Barnes, you're someone's baby daddy now, you can't just rush into these situations anymore. Who is going to take care of Manchurian Candidate jr. while you go rushing off to rescue your baby mama?"

As much as Bucky hated it, Tony had a point. He couldn't go rushing in to save Jade without some sort of plan, although his current plan of find the base, kill everyone inside except Jade, bring her home, sounded like a fine plan to him. There was also the fact that he had a son now and the idea of leaving him, now that he finally had him in his arms and was the only piece of Jade he currently had, didn't sit well with him. He could not take Jamie with him on the mission, though the thought foolishly crossed his mind, and he wasn't sure who he could trust to care for him while he went to rescue the woman he loved.

"You're right, Stark," Bucky admitted with a frown.

Tony's face brightened. "Come again? A little louder please. I didn't quite catch that."

Bucky's frown deepened and he added a glare to match. "I'm not repeating that."

Tony sighed rolling his eyes. "FRIDAY save that footage of Barnes here saying I'm right, I am going to need that in the future I imagine."

"Can we focus please?" Bucky asked with an irritated look.

"Yes, we need to formulate a plan, but first things first I think we need to find a babysitter for the kid. So who can we trust?"

"Natasha?" Steve offered.

"What? Just because she's a woman we're going to ask her to care for the baby? That's sexist. Plus we need her. She could kick all of our asses with her hand tied behind her back," Tony scoffed.

"Pepper?"

"She's away at a conference. Next option. I'm also thinking that the compound isn't exactly the safest place for the kid in cause Fury shows up once he realizes Anton is gone."

"I think I know someone," Bucky said making a set of blue eyes and brown eyes turn to him.

An hour later, at 1:00am in fact, Bucky knocked on the apartment door that Jade had once shared with Iris. He was holding Jamie's car seat, the baby sleeping soundly and secured inside, and a bag that held everything Jamie might need, courtesy of Anton, on his shoulder he had to knock again, louder, stopping when he heard the sound of shuffling from the other side. The locks turned and then the door swung open revealing a thoroughly irritated Iris clad in a robe with her braids hidden in a bonnet.

"What the hell do you-."

The words died on her tongue when she realized who was on the other side of her door at 1:00am cutting into her precious sleep time. Her face fell in confusion, her eyes darting down to the car seat in Bucky's hands.

"James Barnes, what the hell are you doing at my door at one in the morning and whose baby did you steal?" She frowned.

Bucky took a deep breath. "This is my son, Jamie."

Iris blinked. "I'm confused as hell. Your what now?"

"Jade is alive," Bucky said simply.

If it were possible Iris's jaw would have hit the floor, for once in her life she was speechless.

"Her death was faked, and she's been on a farm in Minnesota, being hidden from us for the past four months. And she was taken from that farm by Dimitri."

Iris still could say nothing. Her eyes fell to the baby. Bucky answered her silent question.

"Yes, this is our son. Jamie," he repeated. "I hate to ask this of you. I know it's late and I haven't spoken to you in months, but I trust you, and Jade trusted you, and I need you to watch Jamie while I go and rescue Jade."

Iris shook her head. "I don't understand-."

"I know you don't. And I wish I had more time to explain, but the clock is ticking and the longer Jade is with Dimitri the longer he has time to hurt her."

Iris hesitated, her eyes darting back and forth between Bucky and the car seat. After a moment she nodded and reached for the car seat. "Go. I will watch the baby."

Bucky handed the car seat over carefully, feeling a ache in his chest as he did. He slipped the bag from his shoulder and handed that over as well. "Stark is sending men to watch over you both although no one but me, Stark, and Steve know he exists, still we can't be too cautious. I'm told everything he needs is in this bag. I'm coming back as soon as I can, but if I don't…"

Iris's eyes widened as he trailed off. "No. Don't talk like that. You are coming back, Bucky. And you're bringing my best friend with you."

Bucky resisted the urge to protest and nodded. "Thank you, Iris."

"You're welcome. Now go."

* * *

Jade's health took a turn for the worst while in Dimitri's care. She spiked a high fever resulting from an infection in her incision. She had to be sedated and given antibiotics, but Dimitri was told that in her already weakened state there was a possibility that she wouldn't survive.

And that had upset him far more than he expected.

He made a decision then, while standing over her bed, watching her groan in her sleep, her brow covered in a sheen of sweat. He was going to keep her alive by any means necessary. She had a purpose to fulfill.

* * *

Jade awoke to the sound of hushed voices whispering harshly in her room. She didn't know how long she had been asleep, but she knew she felt like crap. Her skin was hot and stick, her abdomen aching, and her brain swimming with disorientation and drowsiness. She struggled to stay conscious, blinking disorientedly until her eyes focused on Dimitri in the dimly lit room. There was a man beside him, much shorter than Dimitri, bald and wearing a monocle over one eye and a black leather jacket and black pants. When he spoke it was with a thick accent.

"You want to give her serum in a weakened state knowing so far all the other subjects have died?" Monocle man barked in a hushed voice. "Why are you wasting my time, and limited serum, with this?"

"She is valuable."

"You're quest for revenge has made you foolish. The girl only holds importance to _you._ She is nothing to HYDRA. You should kill her and be done with it and stop playing these foolish games with the asset."

Dimitri's fists clenched and he stepped toward the man before him. "She is _mine_ to do with as I wish and I was given full authority to seek out my revenge and collect the asset in anyway I saw fit. You've been ordered to assist me. I would have thought with your lack of test subjects you would have been happy to receive another."

"It is a _waste_ of the serum and use of the scepter. She is weak. She won't survive."

"She carried a super soldiers child and survived that."

"And look at her now. She's barely holding on I'm told."

"If we give her the serum it could heal her. If we use the scepter as well it will enhance her and improve her chances of survival."

"And _if_ she survives what is it you plan to do with her?"

"I plan to make her into the greatest weapon we have ever known. Far more valuable than the asset was or ever will be and she'll be completely under my control."

"She will be under _our_ control," Monocle man corrected. "I might have been instructed to assist you by my peers, but I am still in charge here and I will maintain authority over any enhanced that comes from my work. Do not forget that includes you as well."

Dimitri's jaw clenched. "Just do it, Strucker."

"She'll need to be sedated completely. Have someone do so and bring her down to the lab."

"She's already being sedated-."

"HEAVILY sedated," Monocle man, whose name was apparently Strucker, growled. "Just do as I say."

He pounded on the heavy metal door and it swung open with a loud metallic creak. The sound of leather boots squeaked as they stepped out and the door swung close.

Jade felt fear race through her before darkness took her once more.


	18. Found

Dimitri paced impatiently in the medical area, eyes darting between Jade's sleeping form on the gurney and the clock on the wall. She'd been unconscious for nearly 18 hours now, 18 hours since Strucker injected her with an IV bag full of his own version of the super serum and touched her with the scepter making her glow vibrantly blue for a long sixty seconds. Her heart rate had spiked then, violently sending the monitors attached to her blaring.

Strucker had stood by looking bored, doing nothing to intervene, which had only irritated Dimitri. Jade was the last pawn he had, his last chance at revenge, his chance to prove himself to Hydra, who he knew was questioning his decisions and his usefulness; and when Hydra deemed you useless or a potential liability there was no getting 'kicked out'. You were killed, usually in brutal fashion, your body dumped somewhere where you would never be found. That threat was a crushing weight on his mind, but he would never admit to the very real fear he felt at the thought.

If he could turn Jade into something useful, if he could make her powerful, unstoppable, a killing machine he could use her to take out Hydras biggest threat, The Avengers, and bring them her son, the first born second generation super soldier. He would be back in good graces. Hell he'd rise through the ranks so fast his doubters and enemies heads would spin.

He wasn't going to let Jade die.

"Do something for god sake," he'd spat at Strucker motioning to her.

"There is nothing to do," Strucker shrugged, removing his monocle and breathing onto it, wiping a smudge off with a handkerchief he pulled from his coat. "She's received the last dose of my serum while others need multiple doses to experience any changes. I've done all I can with the scepter. Either she becomes something that is worth my efforts or she doesn't." He turned on his heel then, marching out of the room in a blur of leather.

So Dimitri waited, watching Jade's heart rate spike and dip, a fever taking hold of her, and all the while she remained unconscious and he just prayed she woke up.

She did 22 hours after receiving the serum, her eyes blinking open slowly, disorientation all over her face, sweat pouring in rivers down her brow. He felt an overwhelming sense of relief at the sight of her eyes open, the brown iris's looking around the room in rapid sweeps until they found him. Panicked eyes locked on his and her face contorted in confusion.

"What did you do to me?" She asked lifting her head from the pillow and looking down at the metal cuffs securing her to the gurney.

He ignored her question. "How are you feeling?"

Her brow furrowed, her curls in a disarray and sticking to her forehead. Her heart rate spiked again, the monitors beeping obnoxiously. "What's happening? What did you do?" She stuttered her voice laced with fear. "I-I don't feel right."

"Get Strucker," Dimitri barked at the soldier standing guard at the door. He heard the scramble of feet and the door opening behind him, he approached Jade's side. "Calm down домашнее животное," he cooed at her, reaching out to brush her curls from her face. She jerked away from his touch, glaring up at him with clenched teeth. He smirked, she was certainly feeling better. 18 hours ago she could hardly move.

" _What. Did. You. Do. To. Me?_ " She demanded, teeth still clenched punctuating each word.

She yanked on the metal cuffs holding her, the metal groaning and straining loud enough that Dimitri's eyes widened and darted down to look at them, seeing that the metal had started to bend. She was _changed_. It was working. A grin took over his face, the crushing fear that he would soon meet his end at Hydra's hand disappearing to be replaced with smug pride. He'd been right. As he usually thought he was.

The door opened behind him and Strucker strode in looking mildly annoyed. "What is it?"

"She's awake."

Strucker looked boredly at Jade. "And?"

"Shouldn't she be examined?"

Strucker rolled his eyes and walked toward the gurney, pausing when he saw the misshapen metal cuffs. He looked at Dimitri then with hints of surprise, Dimitri's grin widened.

"Mein gott," Strucker exclaimed in a huff. "It's been less than 24 hours and she's only received one dose."

"See what did I tell you? She's a fighter," Dimitri answered almost proudly.

Jade looked between them, confused and angry, but silent.

"This is unprecedented," Strucker whispered excitedly, his interest in Jade blossoming. He pulled the blankets covering her lower half down, lifting her hospital gown and removing the bandage from her abdomen.

Her c section wound was gone, just the faintest scar barely noticeable unless you looked closely. Struckers face fell.

"Get her to the lab immediately. We must run tests. And get stronger restraints."

* * *

"Barnes."

Bucky took his eyes off the sea of cloudy blue in front of him and sat up straighter in the pilot chair of the Quinjet, looking behind them to see the Avengers gathered around a projected hologram. Bucky recognized the projection, it was the Sokovia base, the one that they guessed Jade was at. The one they were currently on their way too. One that Bucky himself had spent some time at and was the third largest base in the world with the largest Research and Development department. Bucky had been experimented on there, tortured, his mind wiped repeatedly. It was a place of nightmares for him, and the thought of Jade being there left him with a sickening feeling in his gut.

He'd hoped that they weren't too late, that they'd get there in time before Dimitri put his filthy hands on her. Or worse, before she died. They'd left Anton behind, detained and guarded, but he'd warned them that Jade was in no condition to fight back or escape. It was why she'd allowed herself to be taken. Bucky couldn't help but admire the strength of the woman he loved, the way she'd been willing to sacrifice herself for the safety of their son. He admired the faith and trust she had in him as well, she'd let Dimitri take her believing without a doubt that he'd come to rescue her. Her faith in him had never wavered even when he didn't fully deserve it. And realizing all of that only made him love her all the more.

It had been Tony that called him, and when he'd looked, Tony continued. "We're trying to plan a rescue mission for your baby momma over here would you mind joining us?" He motioned to himself and the rest of the team which included Steve, Thor, Clint, Natasha, Sam and Bruce.

Pushing his hair out of his face and his irritation down, he rose and joined the rest of them, standing in between Steve and Sam.

"We're almost directly over the base now. So far we haven't been detected although they have many defenses in place. FRIDAY got a good scan of the building, we still can't access Jade's tracker, but my guess is Jade is one of two places," Tony pointed to two places on the schematics, both on opposite sides of the very large brick building. "Here in the medical area or in the cells. I say we split up, we storm the place and create a distraction so Barnes and Cap can go after her. There is an entrance here, at the back, you guys go in, get Jade. We grab Dimitri too. We're out in time for brunch. We good?"

There was a collective nod.

Strucker sedated and ran many tests on Jade, poking and prodding at her from where she lay on the medical bed in the middle of his lab, strong metal clamps made of steel securing her wrists and ankles. He drew blood samples and checked her bodily functions, digging and digging until he knew her current state inside and out.

All the while Dimitri watched with a smug sense of satisfaction, arms crossed and leaning against the wall. After an hour had passed of Strucker investigations, he spoke.

"Well?"

"The serum has taken affect as well as the energy from the scepter. She hasn't displayed any _abilities_ , but I wouldn't be surprised if she did. Her body is adapting far better than any of our other subjects. And aside from a fever and tachycardia she's having no other side effects," Strucker answered alight with fascination.

"Good," Dimitri answered. "I want her wiped and programmed. _Now._ "

Strucker frowned. "Wiped?"

"I'm not turning her into a weapon when she remembers that I am the one that kidnapped her and held her hostage. She'll kill us all. Wiping her and programming her will make her compliant. I can tell her whatever I want and she'll believe me because she'll know _nothing else_. She'll do as she's ordered, she won't try to hurt us or escape."

Strucker couldn't argue that logic, nodding along, a gloved hand stroking his chin. "It will make it easier to perform these tests, there will be no need to sedate her."

"Exactly. We wipe her, input asset programming," Dimitri reached into his pocket and withdrew a slip of paper, ten words scrawled in Russian in his messy handwriting written on them. "I've already chosen her trigger words."

Strucker's eyes lit up with intrigue, reaching for the paper that Dimitri pulled back so he couldn't reach. Strucker frowned.

"She is _mine_. Mine alone to control so only _I_ will have access to these words," Dimitri scowled.

Strucker stepped toward him. "She is _Hydra's_."

"Not until she has done my bidding," Dimitri stepped toward him also, easily towering over the man.

Strucker looked as though he wanted to argue, but sighed instead. "Take her to the device and implement asset programming then."

* * *

Getting into the base had been almost too easy. The element of surprise helped and the large distraction that Iron Man, Black Widow, Hawkeye, Thor and Hulk provided outside allowed Bucky and Steve to slip into the back. Most of the bases soldiers had been dispatched to the outside to deal with the threat, leaving few soldiers in the base while the ones outside defended the building. The few men that did remain were no match for Bucky, all easily disarmed and knocked unconscious before they could alert anyone to the fact that their walls had been breached. Bucky was counting on the element of surprise to help him to get to Dimitri and Jade, before he hurt her or he escaped, trying to take her with him.

"Tony, we're in. Where are we going?" Steve asked into his comm as they moved stealthily through the halls of the base. Steve leading the way, shield up and ready with Bucky right on his heels, assault rifle aimed and finger hovering over the trigger.

Explosions and gunfire sounded in the background while Tony spoke. "Look for stairs. The medical area is below as are the cells."

"Got it."

Steve picked up the pace, Bucky matching his speed until they found a set of concrete stairs, easily handling the armed guards there. They took the stairs quickly, both coming to a pause when the lights flickered over their heads, their ears picking up what sounded like machinery working, and blood curdling screams. Bucky's stomach sunk when his brain put it all together, the familiar sound and the recognizable scream.

It was Jade.

He pushed past Steve, running the rest of the way, forgetting any sense of plan they had and blew threw the metal door that lead to the room from which he heard the sounds.

It was like walking into a nightmare, time seeming to slow down when he took in the sight before him. Jade was strapped into the machine, the same machine that had been used on him multiple times, the one that stole your memories, that stripped you of who you were, the one that hurt like hell. The one that he had told himself he'd destroy one day. Metal clamps secured her wrists to the armrests and her ankles to the legs of the chair, her chest heaved, sweat pouring down what he could see of her face in tiny rivers, her mouth open in a now silent scream. Two soldiers sat at the controls.

And Dimitri stood in front of her.

Bucky's blood boiled, all he could see was red, flying at Dimitri in a blind fury. The world blurred and the next thing he knew he was atop the man on the floor, punching him repeatedly, Dimitri's face turning into a red mess. He hadn't stood a chance, not with Bucky surprising him, not with Bucky's metal arm and strength. Bucky could hear himself yelling and cursing, unable to stop himself, punching and punching until Steve hands were under his arms pulling him backward.

"Bucky! Bucky! Buck! Stop it!" He shouted, arms locked around his middle while he lunged at Dimitri again, struggling in his hold. "Stop it! Jade needs you."

That made him freeze, his head snapping up to see that in the middle of his rage induced assault on Dimitri, Steve had handled the other two soldiers and disabled the machine. Jade was slumped in her chair, unconscious, her head, arms, and legs freed. He shrugged out of Steve's hold and ran for her, taking her into his arms and lifting her out of the chair. He knelt to the ground, cradling her, his heart pounding and his eyes suddenly watery.

"Jade? Sugar? Open your eyes, please," he reached up and touched her cheek, brushing his fingers across the smoothness of her caramel skin. Her skin was on fire, the sweat still pouring from her skin. "I'm here, Sugar. Please, wake up."

"Uhhh Bucky?"

He looked up at the sound of Steve's voice, laced with confusion, turning to see him standing over Dimitri, who was coughing up blood and sitting up on one bent elbow. Bucky's face fell when he realized the reason that Steve sounded confused, Dimitri's face was healing before their very eyes, his broken nose righting itself, the multiple cuts closing up, the bruising fading. In seconds he was completely healed, chuckling at their gaping expressions, wiping blood from his mouth and cheeks.

"What the…?" Bucky breathed.

Dimitri moved to get up, Steve stopping him with a foot to his chest. Dimitri only grinned, raising his hands and continuing to chuckle up at Steve. "I surrender," he said looking between them. "I will come without a fight."

"How did you do that?" Steve questioned. "What are you?"

Dimitri grinned. "We all have our secrets, Captain."

"Screw what he is, what the hell did you do to Jade?" Bucky questioned.

"She's no longer yours, актив," he said, grin widening.

Bucky's stomach sunk, the rage returning, he almost lunged for him again, but Jade being in his arms stopped him.

"Tony, we've got Jade and Dimitri," Steve said into his comm.

"Good," Tony replied the sound of his arc reactor blast echoing behind him. "Let's get the hell out of here. I can practically taste the mimosas already."


	19. Awake

She awoke slowly, blinking against the light at the bedside, her eyes stinging at the abrupt change from darkness to sudden light. Her head was pounding, a steady thrum that radiated through her skull, back and forth and back and forth. Reaching up, cradling her aching head, taking note of her body which felt like she was on fire, the clothing she wore sticking to her skin with sweat. The blanket covering her was too heavy, kicking it off she pushed herself up on one elbow and looked at her surroundings.

She was in a room, an unrecognizable room, it was fairly large with all the normal amenities of a bedroom including a small mini fridge next to a desk. The bed she was lying on was large, king sized, with red sheets, a black comforter, with an assortment of pillows, six to be exact with red and black pillow cases. The room was neat and tidy, but as she took it in nothing about it struck her as familiar.

She felt herself frown, sitting up further and wondering just where the hell she was, a hint of panic creeping up her spine. She tried to recall how she had gotten to the room, but drew a large blank, she tried to go further past that, to recall _anything_ , and still nothing. She couldn't recall her own name, something that made the inkling of panic she felt spread into a wave that washed over and mixed with fear. Where her memories should have been she found a black void, a nothingness, she knew what things were, could easily name the items around her, but who she was, her past, anything of herself was gone. There was nothing to grasp, not even a faded wisp of a memory.

Just nothing.

She slipped from the bed on shaky legs, nearly stumbling, catching herself on the bedside table, hearing it groan under her grip, pausing until she was sure her legs would hold. She straightened, spinning around, taking in the room until she spotted the slightly open door which lead to a bathroom. She stepped inside, looking for the mirror and approached it taking in the sight of herself. She was pretty enough by her own standards, with dark curls that shrouded her head, deep chocolate brown eyes, light brown skin, she looked young to herself. Still the sight of herself did nothing to help her memory.

She touched her face, which tingled under her fingers, looked down at her own body. She was moderately sized with a thickness to her in the right places, toned in the others, she flexed her muscles feeling a strength radiate through her and wondered briefly if she'd been that kind of person who religiously worked out. Her skin was still buzzing and on fire, tingling with an almost electric current running through her. She felt energized, like someone had charged her up and she was ready to burst with it. Had she always felt this way? Was this normal? Had she been drugged?

Her ears perked to the sound of a door opening near by, making her jump. She felt a fight or flight response, an increase in her heart rate, her skin prickling with goosebumps, another wave of panic. She got the strange urge to hide, but instead spun around stepping out of the bathroom in time to find a man standing in the open doorway of the room.

He was a tall, beautiful man, with long dark hair, bright blue eyes, and a stubble lined jaw. He wore dark jeans and boots, a long sleeved red Henley stretched over the broadness of his muscular upper body. He froze at the sight of her standing there, holding a cup of water in one flesh hand, it was then she noticed the other hand was metal. His eyes searched her face, a look she could only describe as 'relief' on his face. He smiled hesitantly, but brightly illuminating his handsome features, he made no attempt to move past the door as if he were unsure of if he should.

"Hey Sugar," he said softly, the deep baritone of his voice rolling through her.

 _Sugar_. A term of endearment. She didn't recognize this man at all. She swallowed thickly, her throat dry, her eyes darting to the glass of water in his hands, hoping it was for her.

Wait that was stupid.

She shouldn't accept anything from a stranger, least of all food or drink. For all she knew he was her captor. He could have stolen her memories.

He noticed her eyeing the water, choosing to take another step then, holding out the cup. She flinched then, unable to help herself, she didn't know this man or why she was there. He was quite a big man, tall and broad with an apparent metal hand, he could easily over power her. But all his intimidating qualities were diminished by the sincerity in his blue eyes, the curve of his full lips though they fell at the sight of her flinch, the relief shining in his features.

"I'm not going to hurt you," he said freezing again, looking hurt. "I'd never hurt you, Sugar."

She remained still, the only thing moving were her eyes which couldn't help but assess him in long sweeps. She was surprised to find that she believed him, something in her gut telling her his words were true. It made the tension in her bones ease in just the slightest. She again looked at the cup of water and he offered it, leaning forward and stretching his arm to maintain the distance. She paused for just a brief second and then she was stepping forward to close the space between them and grasping it, taking a deep ulp while stepping back to regain some distance and watching him as she drank. The water slid coldly down her throat, easing the ache, quenching her thirst, until it was empty and she was clutching the empty glass in her hands.

She found the courage and will to speak. "Where am I?" Her voice sounded small, hoarse despite the water, confused. She really wanted to ask _who am I?_ "Who are you?"

He hesitated at those words, his face falling, disappointment, hurt, and concern crossing his features before he recovered back to that same hesitant look with a small almost sad smile he had before.

"I'm Bucky…" he answered, one eyebrow arching, hope in his eyes. The name was supposed to mean something to her, _he_ was supposed to mean something to her.

She frowned. The name wasn't familiar. "Bucky?"

"James," he corrected with a short shake of his head. "You call me James. Bucky is a nickname...and you're home," he answered, taking another step toward her.

She managed to suppress the flinch this time, and looked around again. _Home_. That's what he had said. She should recognize her home shouldn't she? She should have felt _something_ right?

"I…. I don't remember…" she admitted glancing down, feeling shame for some reason. She disliked the thought of disappointing this man. This man she didn't know, but who looked at her with love and familiarity in his eyes. _James._

"That's okay, baby," he said softly, another step and he was an arms length away. His hand twitched and raised, with intention to touch her, but then he thought twice and it dropped reluctantly to his side. "It's okay. You're safe. I promise."

"Y-You know me?" Her voice cracked while asking the obvious question. Of course he did. It was clear. But how he knew her and for how long remained unclear.

He nodded, he reached for his pocket and her eyes widened with worry until she saw him pulling out a cellular device. He unlocked it and touched around on the screen before showing it to her. It was a photo of her and him, a close up of just their upper bodies, she was holding the camera, a bright smile on her face, her eyes shining, arm outstretched to capture them both, but he wasn't looking at the camera, he was staring at her in the photo, as though he were enthralled by her, his own eyes shining with adoration. She felt something in her gut then, deep and low, a feeling that she couldn't quite recognize or put a name to.

"Your name is Jade. Jade Johnson. And we've been seeing each other for over a year," he said scrolling to the next photo and showing her again, another one of them, a wider shot her arm holding the phone again the other wrapped around his neck, their faces pressed together, two wide smiles. They looked happy.

 _Jade._

Her name was Jade.

Jade and James.

It was… cute.

She hoped that learning her name would stir something in her, call forth a memory, but still nothing. Still empty, recalling nothing, and each time she tried she felt more panicked.

"Jade…" she whispered her own name.

"Yes, Jade, you're a pediatric nurse," Bucky continued making her look up at him again. "You're an only child, your mom and dad who you are close too, live in Maine. You've had the same best friend, Iris, since you were a kid. You love your job, your family, your friends…." he trailed off, clearing his throat. "And me…" he added finally.

She felt that feeling again, that unrecognizable feeling deep in her gut and felt her face fall. She wondered briefly if it was love, the love he claimed that she had for him, the love that she saw all over the photos he'd shown her of them. She hugged herself, holding on tightly.

"Why can't I remember? What happened to me?" She questioned shaking her head to clear it.

There was a possibility that this was all a lie, that he was lying, that the photos were doctored and that he was the bad guy. What if he had kidnapped her? Was holding her against her will in his nice bedroom.

His shoulders sagged and he let out a sigh. "I have enemies. People that want to hurt me and because I love you...they wanted to hurt you too to get back at me. They took you from me, they stole your memories. That's why you can't remember anything."

Her head spun with the new information, it was a lot to process. Who was this man before her? Why did he have enemies and who were they? What had he done to them that would make them hate him so much to seek her out for revenge? Had she known before choosing to be with him that there was this threat? That there was a possibility she could be harmed because she loved him? If she had known and still made the conscious decision to be with him then she must have loved him very much, how could she not if being with him was worth putting her safety at risk?

"H-how long have I been gone?" She asked wanting to fill the silence that had fallen between them.

"Almost five months," he answered after an audible swallow. "They faked your death and made us all believe that you were gone."

Her stomach sunk at that information. That meant that all the people he mentioned, including himself, the ones who loved and cared for her all had to go through the trauma of her death. She suddenly felt bad for them all, especially this man in front of her.

She opened her mouth to speak when there was a soft knock on the door behind him. Bucky looked torn between answering and tearing his probing eyes away from her, but opted for the door. He opened it just enough to see who was on the other side, not allowing her to see. She shouldn't have been able to hear the hushed whispers of Bucky and whoever was at the door at the distance she was standing, but could, and quite clearly.

"Now isn't a good time-," Bucky started.

A male voice answered, soft and low, but impatient. "I know. I'm sorry. But Jamie is awake and upset and we're all a little out of our depth out here. Iris had to leave for work and we don't have a lot of experience with-."

 _Jamie_. That name stirred something in her, a feeling, one she couldn't name. Who was Jamie?

"Jade is awake." Bucky had interrupted whoever was at the door.

"Oh," the other person breathed. "Is she- does she-."

"She doesn't remember anything," Bucky sighed disappointedly.

The response sounded puzzled. "Nothing about what Dimitri did to her or-."

"Nothing as in she doesn't remember me or anything about her life. She didn't remember her own name. The machine…" she saw Bucky shake his head. "We didn't get to her in time." He sounded defeated, guilty, almost broken.

A large hand reached in and touched his shoulder. "Take your time with her, we'll handle Jamie."

"He's probably just hungry. Give me a minute I'll come help. I'm just trying to keep her calm, not overwhelm her."

"Like I said, take your time. I'll let the others know she is awake."

Bucky nodded once and the door closed. He looked back at her over his shoulder apologetically. "Sorry-."

"If I'm keeping you from-," she started, feeling guilty and in the way, though she wasn't sure why. She wanted to ask who Jamie was, but she hesitated.

"You aren't, Sugar," he cut her off quickly. "I want to be here for you, to help you through this." He stepped toward her again, his hand coming up once more before he dropped it and sighed. "You don't know what it's been like… these past months… thinking you were dead. Now you're here, and all I want to do is hold you and kiss you and I can't because I'm a stranger to you."

She felt her face fall at his admission. A part of her wanted him too, his arms were long and thick and probably would wrap around her tightly and make her feel safe. She could vividly imagine his smell, masculine and musky with hints of fresh soap, and wondered if it was due to a latent memory or just her imagination. And then there was the other part of her that was still apprehensive to believe his story, even with the pictures, even with the love and adoration she saw in his eyes, she was still suspicious that this was all a lie. That he was her captor and she wasn't meant to be here.

"I'm sorry," she breathed unsure of what exactly she was sorry for.

He huffed at her, taking two more steps until he was an arms length away again. "Don't be sorry, none of this was your fault. It's mine. _I'm_ the one whose sorry, if I'd have just stayed-." He broke off shaking his head again and tearing his blue eyes away from her.

She felt that feeling in her gut again, accompanied by a wrenching in her chest. She felt the need to say something, but could find no words.

"I have to go take care of something, but I will be back okay? I will bring you some food too."

He made for the door and she felt a flare of panic at the thought of him leaving. She stepped forward without thinking taking a hold of his arm and feeling him tense at her touch. He looked back at her with wide eyes and for a brief moment she thought she saw fear in the blue. He relaxed after a moment, taking hold of the hand that she had grabbed.

"It's okay, Sugar. You are safe here. I am coming right back," he insisted, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. He reached up with his flesh hand and brushed his fingers across her cheek sending fire, hot and tingling, across her face. Her breath caught in her throat and she looked up at him hesitantly, seeing his eyes on her lips.

"You promise?" She said.

He smiled then, not hesitantly or sadly, a real one that warmed her belly. "I promise."

He moved away from her reluctantly and pulled open the door, she could briefly hear what sounded like a baby crying somewhere as he slipped through, then the door shut.


	20. Containment

"How is she?" Steve asked when Bucky exited his bedroom, rising from where he had been sitting on the couch, a worried frown on his face.

The was a loaded question. At the moment she was… _fine._ She'd remained calm, despite being unable to remember just _who_ she _was,_ and she hadn't hurt him. They'd wanted to restrain her at first, something Bucky argued fiercely against.

"We have to restrain her, for _everyone's_ safety, including hers," Tony had said, arms crossed, worry in his features. "We can put her in a medical ward, we have locks on a few of the doors for violent cases. We can restrain her to a bed."

Bucky had been furious, ready to punch Tony's lights out, a sensation that wasn't foreign to him. "After everything she has been through you want her to wake up strapped down to a medical bed in a locked room?"

And much to Bucky's surprise and dismay, Steve had agreed. "Buck… Tony is right, you said yourself that the people they gave the serum to were unstable, violent, and dangerous. We don't want Jade to hurt anyone or herself. So until we know exactly what they've done to her, it's best if we take precautions."

He'd been less than happy with Steve at that moment.

Bucky had huffed, shaking his head, eyeing Tony and Steve both with a look of disbelief. They were worried, at least that's what they said, although Bucky could see the fear in their eyes. They were scared of her, of what Dimitri had turned her into. Bucky was scared as well, he'd seen first hand what Hydra's version of the Super Soldier Serum could do to people, and he didn't want that for her. He feared that when she finally did wake, she wouldn't be _his_ Jade anymore. That she'd be someone else, a stranger, an imposter in the body of the woman he loved.

Dimitri's words haunted him.

 _She's no longer yours, актив._

But she was in there. He could see it in her eyes. And she'd hurt no one, so far. He was glad that he'd won that argument, that he demanded she be allowed to wake up in familiar surroundings, unrestrained. He was sure that attributed to her waking up calmly and staying calm. He wanted this process to go as smoothly as possible. He didn't want her to feel afraid, least of all, of him.

The lack of recognition in her eyes when she'd looked at him had hurt him more than he thought it would. He'd tried to prepare himself for the possibility that they'd been too late, that the machine had stolen her memories, but a part of him had hoped and _prayed_ , going back to his catholic roots from his ma', that they'd gotten to her in time. He refused to let the news that they hadn't break him.

"She's fine," he answered finally stepping into the common room. "She's calm."

Natasha, who had been seated on the couch beside Steve, cradling Jamie in her arms, rose as well. She shifted Jamie to her shoulder, patting his back gently. Jamie squirmed for a moment, then settled with a soft grunt.

"That's good right?" Natasha questioned looking between them.

"But she doesn't remember anything?" Tony probed before Bucky could answer her.

He shook his head. "No, she doesn't remember a thing."

"So we have no way of knowing what Dimitri did to her?" Tony asked.

Bucky frowned. "I just said she doesn't remember a thing."

Tony fell silent, sharing a look with Steve whose lips were in a hard line. "I still think we need to restrain her," Tony sighed crossing his arms. "We need to run some tests and-."

"No. That's not what she needs right now," Bucky cut in. "She needs _us_. She needs support. Some patience and understanding. The same you guys gave to me. Trust me when I say I know what she's going through."

Steve's face softened. "Buck, we know that-."

"Well excuse me if I don't believe that seeing as you wanted to lock her up before she woke up and you're still talking about it."

"She could be a danger to us all. We have know idea what Dimitri did her to. What he put in her head," Tony continued.

"None of this is her fault. She doesn't deserve to be treated like some criminal," Bucky snapped. "She's done NOTHING wrong!"

"YET. She hasn't done anything yet! She could go crazy and KILL US ALL. Including YOUR SON," Tony shouted motioning to Jamie. "You have no idea what Dimitri turned her into!"

Bucky's teeth clenched. His blood boiled with rage.

Jamie stirred in Natasha's arm at Tony's outburst, fussing and squirming before letting out a continuous cry. Bucky sighed, taking a moment to breathe in and try to put out the raging fire of anger that was threatening to take him over. He ran a hand over his face and stalked to Natasha, holding his hands out to receive his son. She hesitated, looking at him worriedly. Bucky frowned.

"I'm fine, Nat. Give him to me," he said, hiding the anger in his voice. He hated that she thought he couldn't control himself, that he'd ever do anything to hurt his son, intentional or unintentional.

She relented, passing him over carefully. Bucky felt fatherly instincts he never knew he had kick in, placing Jamie in the position he liked right over his heart, patting him softly on the back, bouncing and shushing. Jamie quieted almost instantly, tiny fists curling around the material of his shirt. His heart warmed in his chest, that overwhelming feeling of emotion that he'd grown accustomed too each time he held his son washed over him. His breath left his body in a low sigh, holding Jamie relieved all the tension in his body. It gave him a temporary reprieve from the constant weight he carried. He looked over at the closed bedroom door that led to the bedroom he shared with Jade. He wanted nothing more than to take Jamie in there, to tell her about him, for the three of them to be together for the first time as they were meant to be, to be able to hold them both in his arms. But he didn't want to upset her, she'd already been through enough. In time he'd tell her about their son.

"I'm going to feed him," Bucky said to no one in particular. He pointed a metal finger at Tony. "Don't even think of touching that door," he warned.

He walked off then, not giving Tony a chance to answer, moving carefully to the kitchen, never interrupting the bouncing and random shushing to keep his son calm. Jamie hadn't made a peep since being placed in his father's arms. He didn't have to look behind him to know that Steve followed.

"We're not trying to upset you, Bucky," he watched Bucky pull a premade bottle out of the fridge. Iris had bought them while she cared for Jamie and Bucky had been grateful when she brought him back with more, as well as a bottle warmer and diapers. She had wanted to see Jade, had practically stormed the bedroom, Bucky advised against it, promising she'd see her best friend in time. "We just want everyone safe, _including_ Jade."

Bucky sighed, not bothering to look at Steve. "We don't know that she's a danger to anyone. And until she does something I won't let you treat her like some animal."

Steve shifted, bracing his palms on the counter. "Until we know what Dimitri did to her, we have to be careful here."

"We don't know that he did do anything to her. This is all speculation. She could be fine," he reasoned.

Steve gave him a look, one that said Bucky should know better. "Anton said that when Dimitri took her, she was in no condition to run. That she was recovering from a c-section and a near death experience. And we find her with no medical issues, and no c-section wound? Barely a scar. Come on Bucky, he did something to her. We both know it."

Bucky paced, resuming his bouncing, waiting for the bottle to warm. He made sure to be mindful of how hard he was holding Jamie, that his bouncing wasn't too much, all it would take was one slip up of his control, to forget how fragile his son truly was, and how strong _he_ was and he could hurt him.

"I'm not letting you guys lock her up." It was said through clenched teeth. He didn't care what Dimitri had done, he wouldn't let Jade go through what he'd gone through. Being locked up, treated like a criminal, when she hadn't done anything. She was the victim here.

Steve sighed. "Not lock her up…. it's more like containment. For her safety."

Bucky rolled his eyes and passed Steve a glare. "It's the same damn thing and you know it."

The bottle warmer beeped signaling it was finished. Steve came forward silently, taking the bottle from the warmer, checking the temperature of the milk on the inside of his arm, something he knew would be difficult with Jamie in Bucky's arms. He'd been the one helping Bucky during the past two nights, helping him feed and change Jamie. Bucky shifted Jamie and offered the bottle, unable to keep from smirking down at the baby when he latched on and ate greedily.

"He's got quite the appetite huh?" Steve commented, wanting to relieve the tense silence in the air.

Bucky nodded. "It's probably the serum."

Steve looked momentarily concerned, eyeing Jamie. "Anton said he was checked out by a doctor? That everything was okay?"

"So he says, but I don't trust him or Fury or any doctor that they would employ. Think I'll ask Dr. Cho to look him over tomorrow."

"Probably a good idea."

Silence fell over them again, both watching Jamie enjoy his bottle intently. The silence lingered until Steve's eyebrows furrowed in thought.

"If we want to find out what Dimitri did, why don't we just ask him?" He asked. "Then we can truly know what to expect and how to help Jade."

Bucky huffed. "Aside from the fact that he'd probably lie?"

"There are ways to make him talk…"

"How do you make a man who is self healing talk?" Bucky questioned with a skeptical smirk.

"Every man has a breaking point," Steve answered.

Bucky mulled it over. They'd been keeping Dimitri locked in a vault in the basement of the compound. There were no cells on the compound and it was a place that Tony had built to store special invaluable objects. They couldn't trust him to stay confined to a common room like Anton. It'd been emptied out and a thick heavy chain had been put in the wall. Dimitri was currently there, until they knew what to do with him, with four guards on him twenty-four/seven. Bucky had to admit the idea of using excessive force on Dimitri thrilled him to no end. He wanted nothing more than to wrap his hands around his throat and watch the light die in that monsters eyes. But that wasn't _him_. That was The Winter Soldier. And he wasn't that man anymore. He could settle for causing minimal bodily harm though.

"And you'd be okay with that?" Bucky questioned incredulously, eyeing Steve.

"I didn't say kill the guy, just getting him to talk, if it means answers for you and Jade-."

"Steve! Get out here!" Tony's call from the common room interrupted him, an urgency in his tone.

Steve and Bucky shared a glance before they both were walking briskly into the common room, stopping when they saw Nick Fury. Bucky's blood ran cold and he clutched Jamie a little tighter.

Fury looked at him blankly, hands clasped behind his back. "I believe you have something that belongs to me."


	21. Fury

The sudden tension that overtook the room could be cut with a knife. Bucky had expected Fury to show up sooner or later, looking for Anton, Jade, and Jamie, but he'd hoped to have more time. They hadn't really come up with a plan, their focus entirely on finding Jade and worrying about anything else after. They didn't know what they were going to do about Fury or S.H.I.E.L.D. And now Fury stood in the common room, a smug and impatient air about him, which made Bucky's blood boil.

"You've got a lot of nerve showing your face here after what you did," he growled, stepping angrily towards Nicky Fury.

Steve's arm instinctively shot out, grabbing a hold of Bucky's shoulder to stop him from moving any closer. "Buck, easy, think of Jamie," he urged softly.

Bucky hesitated, looking down at his son in his arms, still drinking his bottle, finding his tiny blue eyes that matched his own gazing up at him. He forced himself to take a deep breath and calm the rage threatening to overtake him.

"What are you doing here, Fury?" Tony questioned crossing his arms.

Fury smirked. "As I said before you have something that belongs to me-."

"If you are talking about Jade-:," Bucky cut in through clenched teeth.

"I am referring to my agent that I am assuming you are holding against his will," Fury interrupted with a frown. "The man you know as Anton Sokolov. Where is he?"

"And what on earth would make you assume that?" Tony asked with a raised eyebrow.

"The fact that he and Ms. Williams and her child are missing and have been for almost a week. I am assuming that you somehow found out Ms. Williams and her child were still alive, as well as her location, and took her from said location."

Tony chuckled. "I'm going to take a wild guess here and assume Ms. Williams is the name of the new identity you gave to Jade. Your assumption is wrong. We didn't take Jade from a safe house. We rescued her from a Hydra base somewhere in BFE Russia and from Dimitri's clutches."

Fury's face fell into genuine surprise. It was clear he wasnt aware of Dimitri taking Jade, which proved that Anton hadn't reported in before bringing Jamie to the compound.

"As far Anton, he is being held in a guarded conference room at the moment. We have reason to believe that he was involved in a kidnapping and plan to report him to the proper authorities," Tony continued.

Fury huffed. "Kidnapping?"

"Yes, he participated in Jade's kidnapping. Something that S.H.I.E.L.D orchestrated and we don't plan to let them get away with," Steve explained, anger burning in the blue of his eyes.

Fury remained silent, eyeing them all before chuckling to himself and shaking his head. "S.H.I.E.L.D operates under the United States government. Who exactly do you plan to report us too?" He placed his arms behind his back. "The woman formerly known as Ms. Johnson was taken because she needed protection from _you_ ," Fury continued nodding to Bucky. "There have been multiple attempts on her life, the most recent, before coming into our custody, resulting in the death of twelve innocent people. Being in a relationship with Barnes put her and her child at risk. S.H.I.E.L.D made a decision, to protect her, and by extension the American people. She was given a new identity, a home for her and her child, a husband-."

"Husband?" Bucky spat.

Fury ignored his outburst. "Jade Johnson no longer exists. She is dead. And while we appreciate you rescuing her from a terrorist, _Jasmine Williams_ is still under the protection of S.H.I.E.L.D, holding her here is considered a federal offense. As is holding Agent Sokolov here. I will be leaving with them both, including the child."

Bucky seethed. "Over my dead fucking body."

As if on cue the elevator dinged, doors opening with multiple armed agents spilling out. Bucky tensed, paternal instincts flaring within him. Removing the bottle from Jamie's mouth he shifted him against his chest, clutching him tightly and calculating an exit strategy. He'd kill every agent in that room if it meant keeping Jade and Jamie safe.

"Whoa," Tony said raising his arms. "Let's all take it easy. Jade isn't going anywhere Fury. She obviously wasn't that safe with you if a terrorist found her at your secure location. And if you take her, you'll have pissed off every Avenger there is. And considering how important we are to the United States government you might want to think twice about that. Who are you going to call the next time the world needs saving if the ones who do the saving aren't answering?"

Fury frowned.

"Jade and Jamie stay here with us. She is no longer in any danger. Dimitri has been neutralized. He was the one causing the problems and now that he is handled, Jade and Jamie are safe," Tony reasoned. "You can take Agent Sokolov, we don't care about him. But Jade and Jamie aren't part of that deal."

"Dimitri has been handled?" Fury asked skeptically, his eyebrow raised.

"Yes," Tony continued. "When we rescued Jade from being kidnapped from your 'protection', we took care of Dimitri."

"Took care of him how?"

Tony hesitated.

"He's dead," Steve interrupted quickly. Tony turned wide eyes on him. "It was self defense. I had no choice. His body couldn't be recovered."

Fury weighed that, crossing his arms over his chest. "Do you have any proof of this?"

"Would Captain America lie?" Steve questioned arching an eyebrow.

Fury weighed the question. "If Dimitri truly is no longer a threat then the American Government thanks you, but Hydra still is a very real threat and who's to say they won't send someone else after the people you care about Barnes?"

Bucky's teeth clenched at the implication Fury was making. He didn't trust him to protect his family. They hadn't given him the chance, they'd taken them away before he could prove himself, before he could show anyone what he was capable of when it came to the people that he loved. He wasn't going to let it happen again.

"I can't guarantee no one else will come after us, I'm fairly certain that Hydra will send someone else. But you underestimate the lengths that I am willing to go to protect my family. From _anyone_ and _anything_ ," his eyes burned daggers into Fury.

For a fraction of a second Fury held a mixture of surprise and amusement on his face. It was gone just as quickly, face falling back into the practice unimpressed expression.

"Whether you like it or not, Jasmine Williams, formerly known as Jade Johnson is under the protection of the United States Government and I could take her and her child out of here and there's nothing you can do to stop me."

Bucky felt the rage return and his muscles tensed.

"However," Fury continued. "Release my agent and I will allow her and the child to stay, _only_ if she remains under the care of Anton as her bodyguard."

Bucky scoffed. "Not a chance."

"Then she returns to the Witness Protection Program."

"Manchurian Candidate, Cap, Nat, a word please," Tony said, holding up a hand to Fury. "Allow me a moment with my colleagues would ya Fury?"

Fury rolled his eye, but nodded.

Tony lead Bucky, Steve, and Nat to a distance he deemed out of earshot of Fury. Huddling together Tony spoke in a soft whisper.

"Look, if we want Jade and baby candidate to be able to stay here then we have to work with what we're given. Fury, the one eyed bastard that he is, is right unfortunately. He could take her and that baby out of here and we couldn't stop him unless we all want to become enemies of the government. And I gotta tell you none of that sounds appealing to me, not to mention Pepper would kick my ass. So can we please work with Cyclops here?" Tony finished, jutting his thumb at Fury.

Natasha nodded in agreement. "I hate to say it, but Tony is right-."

Tony grinned, beaming at Natasha. "I always knew you were the voice of reason."

Natasha groaned, frowning at him. "And I'm instantly regretting it. Either way, if we want Jade and Jamie here with us and safe, we have to agree to Fury's terms."

"There's also the matter of Jade's _condition_. If we let Fury find out that Jade got her memory wiped and god knows what else done to her, he might not be so inclined to let her stay and she can become some lab rat or worse, locked up somewhere never to be seen again," Tony added with an arched eyebrow. "So we agree to Fury's terms until we can figure out something better. Whatever we have to do to keep Jade and the baby here."

Bucky hesitated, eyeing Steve who gave him a shrug and helpless look. As much as he normally hated to do it, he had to admit that Tony had a point. If he wanted to keep Jade and Jamie safe then he would have to agree to Fury's terms, for lack of a better option. Silently, he nodded in agreement.

Tony sucked in a deep breath and turned back to Fury who was waiting patiently for their answer. "Okay Fury, here's the deal," he cleared his throat, crossing his arms over his chest. "We will release Anton, let him resume his body guard work, which essentially means being your little mole, but on the condition that you bring Jade Johnson back from the dead and whatever marriage she has to Anton is considered annulled."

Fury's impassive look turned into a scowl.

"Dimitri clearly knew she was alive otherwise she wouldn't have been kidnapped. He wouldn't be a very good Hydra agent if he didnt report that she was alive meaning Hydra knows also, so her death is pointless. Give her back her life. After everything she endured she deserves that."

Fury sighed heavily in annoyance and defeat. "I will see what I can do." It was clear that was the best that they were going to get. "I also expect to be debriefed on exactly what happened during Jade's rescue and the death of Dimitri, Captain," Fury said with a pointed look at Steve. "I'd like to speak to Jade as well."

"Of course," Tony said hurriedly, waving his hand. "Jade is resting. She'll need a few days, probably weeks, most likely months, to recover, but I'm sure she'd love to tell you just what happened to her when you were supposed to be protecting her." Fury's frown returned. "I also hope S.H.I.E.L.D is doing everything in their power to find out just how Dimitri knew where Jade was. Obviously you have a mole in your organization."

"We will be looking into it," Fury answered, he glanced down at his watch impatiently before looking at Tony. "Anton?"

"I will take you to him," Tony said motioning to the elevator.

Bucky watched Tony lead Fury and his small army of the armed agents to the elevator. He felt a hint of relief, but knew that his battle with Fury and S.H.I.E.L.D was far from over. It wasn't until the elevator doors closed behind them that he felt his muscles relax and he let out a breath he hadn't realized he was holding.

"I need to check on Jade," he said looking down at his son, tiny blue eyes gazed back up at him. "And I think it's time I introduce this little guy to his mama."

Natasha and Steve shared a glance. "Do you think she's ready for that?" Steve asked.

"We're on the clock now. If Fury wants to speak to her then we have no choice, but to do everything we can to make her remember. And maybe seeing Jamie will stir something up," Bucky reasoned. "I wanted to ease her into all of this, but we don't have that luxury anymore."

Steve and Natasha gave a single nod, watching silently while Bucky turned for his bedroom holding Jamie close.


	22. Memory

The room shrank the moment that Bucky shut the door behind himself, muffling the sound of the baby crying and leaving her alone in the foreign bedroom. She stood there in the middle of the room, hugging herself, feeling small and uncomfortable and unsure of what to do next. It took her a few moments to finally move, to take a step toward the large bed with the black comforter, red sheets, and way more pillows than anyone could possibly need, and sink down onto the softness, arms still wrapped around her body, eyes darting about.

She shut her eyes as anxiety and panic flared within her again, taking deep breaths, trying to ground herself. The deep breaths did nothing to help. She still felt anxious, her skin was still on fire and she still felt like every nerve in her body was tingling with a dangerous energy that pulsed in time to the beat of her heart. Deciding after what felt like hours, that sitting and breathing was doing nothing to help, she stood and started a slow pace, walking back and forth between the space of the bed and desk, much like a caged animal. It was then that she noticed the three photos on the desk, all of which she was in. She approached them carefully, bending to take them in, the first being of her with two others in someone's living room, she stood sandwiched between and older man and woman, a woman who bore a striking resemblance to herself. They had to have been relatives. Her parents perhaps?

The second and third photo was of her and one person, the same person. A young woman, beautiful with brown skin and long dark braids. The second photo was a close up on their faces, both of them smiling brightly cheek to cheek. The third photo was of them outdoors, laying on their stomachs over a blanket, making silly faces at the camera. She looked younger in both and got the feeling that these weren't recent. This must have been the best friend that Bucky mentioned, the one that she had known since she was a small child. _Iris_.

She stared hard at the three photos, trying with all her willpower to call forth a memory, for the faces in the photo to become familiar, but she was met with the same blank void.

Frustrated she set the photos back down on the desk, deciding after a beat that maybe splashing some water on her face would help to cool her skin that still felt like it was on fire. She shut the bathroom door behind herself, turned on the faucet, bending down to scoop the water without making a mess. It splashed coldly onto her face, doing little to ease the fire that burned under her skin. The electric feeling coursing through her hadn't died down, it still pulsed with each beat of her heart, leaving her to wonder (and worry) just what the hell the feeling was and why wouldn't it go away.

She gazed at her reflection once more, seeing the panic in her own eyes, taking in her own features, trying to use them instead to call on a memory, _any_ memory of her life. There was only the same big blank, a dull headache underneath it, and she felt her teeth clench in irritation. She reached for the faucet handle to turn it off, hearing the metal groan under her touch, feeling it give under the pressure of her fingers. She recoiled quickly at the sound, looking down with wide eyes to see the metal distorted, four grooves that matched her fingers indented into the metal.

 _What the…_

She looked down in horror at her own hands that looked ordinary in her eyes, but something clearly wasn't right. She had barely touched the handle, certainly hadn't used enough pressure that should have caused it to distort. No normal human could do that.

"Jade?"

She jumped at the muffled sound of Bucky's voice coming from the other side of the door, spinning around to face it. She panicked briefly, looking from the ruined faucet handle to the door and back before forcing herself to take a deep breath. If what Bucky said was true, if he really was the man she loved, then she could trust him. He could have the answers, he could know what was happening to her, he could help her.

And honestly what other choice did she have?

"C-Coming," she stuttered, taking a few more seconds to compose herself.

She carefully gripped the doorknob, not wanting to damage anything else, and stepped out. "Bucky, there's something-."

The words died in her throat when her eyes found him, standing in the center of the bedroom, with a hesitant look on his face and a baby in his arms. He was holding the baby against his shoulder and all she could see was the blue muslin blanket wrapped around it and the small head full of brown curls. She felt her stomach sink, so she hadn't been imagining things, there had been a baby.

Bucky audibly swallowed, taking a careful step toward her, shifting the baby to cradle him in the crook of his arm. It was then that she saw his little face, his features so similar to Bucky's, blue eyes that matched his exactly, his skin fair.

"I wanted to ease you into this," Bucky started slowly, looking down at the baby in his arms, eyes bright with uncertainty. "But things are in motion now and if I want to protect you, then I need you to remember."

She nodded, because it was all she could think to do, her eyes still fixed on the baby.

He took another step closer. "This is our _son_."

She felt all her bodily functions freeze, including her heart, which skipped a beat. Her eyes widened and she felt her mouth slacken. _A son?_

"I know its a lot to take in," he continued, taking two more steps until he was right in front of her, allowing her to see the baby in full view.

Bucky's voice grew distant as he continued, explaining that she was pregnant when she was taken and something something something. She'd zeroed in on the beautiful baby in his arms, _her baby_ , and she couldn't hear anything. Tiny blue eyes turned to find her and abruptly pulled into a memory, one that flashed through her mind clear, allowing her to relive the moment.

A man in scrubs lifting a baby, _this baby_ , covered in blood and amniotic fluid into the air above a curtain meant to block her view of the c-section. She remembered thinking how perfect he was, how relieved she felt to see that he was healthy and full term. There was another man, a man whose face she couldn't see behind a surgical mask, sitting beside her, holding her hand tight. It wasn't Bucky though, where Bucky's eyes were a brilliant icy blue, this man's eyes were darker, a deeper blue, and his hair was shorter, shaved on the sides, longer and slicked back from his face on the top. She could tell he was smiling from his raised cheek bones and the sparkle in his eyes.

His voice, much different from Bucky's, echoed in her head, the feel of his hand squeezing hers etched in her memory. " _He's beautiful."_

She came out of the memory with a gasp finding Bucky staring at her puzzled. The memory only gave her more questions. Who was the man holding her hand while she gave birth? Had he been her captor? Why was he holding her hand if so? Why would she let him?

She shook her head and instead tried to absorb the fact that she was a mother. She was momentarily hurt that Bucky hadn't told her right away, but understood why. He was probably worried about how she'd react. She wasn't herself after all. And after what she'd done to the faucet she didn't trust herself.

Still the baby, _her_ baby, _their_ son, had a swarm of emotions flooding her system. Most of all she was saddened that she hadn't remembered him. That someone had stolen her from his mind, all the memories of his conception, her pregnancy and most of his birth and after.

"Are you alright?" Bucky asked concerned, his brows knit together.

She nodded once, swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat and blinked past some tears that were threatening to spill. "Yes, I am." She wasn't. "I just...I remembered something...about him," she nodded to the baby that she was suddenly aching to hold, to cuddle, to smell, to love. She attributed it to some maternal instinct, she almost asked to hold him and then remembered what she had done to the faucet handle and thought twice. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt him.

Bucky's eyes lit up. "Jamie? You remembered something about Jamie?"

"Yeah...I was having a c-section and there was a doctor, he was holding him up right after he was he was taken out," she explained. Bucky's face fell a bit at her admission. She wondered if she should tell him about the man, ask him who that man was, but changed her mind. "I think that was the first time that I saw him…Jamie."

"That's good, baby," Bucky sighed in relief. "That's really good. It will come back to you…" he looked down at Jamie, and then back up at her. "Do you...do you want to hold him?"

His voice sounded so hopeful, and she realized that this was probably the first time that they'd been together as a family since she'd been missing. It was why it broke her heart to shake her head no, because as much as she wanted to hold Jamie, all she could think of was the distorted faucet and how she could hurt him. Bucky's face fell when she shook her head, a sadness replacing the hope in his eyes. He visibly deflated. He recovered after a moment, offering her a weak smile.

"That's okay," he insisted. "I know this is a lot for you. I know you can't remember-."

"I don't want to hurt him," she blurted in explanation.

Bucky arched an eyebrow. "You wouldn't-."

She shook her head again. "No, I wanted to tell you...before...something is wrong…"

"Wrong?" Bucky repeated, stepping closer. "What's wrong?"

She said nothing, turning for the bathroom instead and leaving him to follow. She opened the door, stepping back and gesturing to the faucet handle. Bucky's blue eyes followed in confusion, his face falling. She stood behind him, letting him absorb it and hoping that he had an answer and that he wouldn't think that she was some kind of freak, that the people who had taken her hadn't turned her into a monster. When he looked to her again she was surprised to find that he didn't look at her like she was some monster, instead there was understanding.

"Oh Sugar," he breathed softly. "It's alright."

She blinked. "It is?"

"Yes, it is. Everything is going to be fine.."

She wasn't sure what ' _this_ ' was, but she felt relief and comfort at his words. "But… I don't understand what's happening to me…"

He stepped closer, looking down at her reassuringly. "I'm going to explain everything," he promised. "Everything is going to be alright."


	23. Adjusting

Tomorrow.

Bucky promised to explain everything to her tomorrow.

It was getting late and while she had been asleep for days already he could see a tired look in her eyes. It was most likely due to the stress of everything and the fear that _something_ was happening to her.

And he wouldn't admit it, but he's tired too.

It's been a hell of a few days, honestly it's been a few months of hell.

Fatherhood hadn't come easy over the past four days, but he thought he had some idea of what he was doing and was _adjusting_ accordingly.

Yes, he was exhausted because Jamie wasn't exactly sleeping through the night. But he'd been deprived of sleep before, Hydra having had very interesting punishment methods, and while being deprived of sleep and having to change a fussing infant at 3:00 in the morning was its own special kind of torture, he was _managing_.

He was lucky that his friends had rallied around him. Steve had come to his rescue after the first night, when he'd seen the dark circles under Bucky's eyes, coming to the spare room that Bucky and Jamie were sleeping in while they waited for Jade to wake up. He'd taken Jamie from his arms, despite Bucky's tired protests that he could "handle it" and wordlessly pointed to the bed until Bucky relented and crawled into bed. Bucky was asleep before his head hit the pillow. Steve had been showing up to help every night since.

Natasha was always willing to hold Jamie, snuggling him close and breathing in his 'new baby smell' as she'd called it. Sam was surprisingly adept at diaper changing and had offered to help. Even Tony had held Jamie, though briefly; Bucky having been distracted by trying to measure formula for a bottle, turning around to see that Jamie had ended up in Tony's arms. The moment had been almost...precious, the billionaire smiling and cooing affectionately down at his son, a smile had started to turn the corner of Bucky's lips.

And then in true Tony Stark fashion, he'd spoken. "It's a _shame_ Manchurian Candidate junior looks so much like you, Barnes. I barely see any of Jade in him."

The cute moment was promptly ruined.

Even Iris had been showing up to lend a helping hand when she could. She'd reached out to Steve to get more on the story of what exactly had happened to Jade, and after learning that they had nothing for Jamie besides a diaper bag full of onesies, diapers, wipes, and premade bottles of formula, she'd taken it upon herself to go to Target.

Where Bucky assumed she'd emptied out the store of all baby related items and by extension her bank account.

He wasn't prepared for the amount of baby items that she had when she'd showed up to help. There were clothes, baby toys, blankets, a bassinet, swing, more diapers and formula and pacifiers and anything else a baby might need. Bucky, truly having no idea what a baby might need, was both thankful and worried. He'd offered to pay her back and she'd refused profusely, stating that she was a 'fancy lawyer now' and it was her job as Jamie's 'godmother/aunt'. She'd followed that up with asking to see Jade, which Bucy reluctantly had to deny. He promised that as soon as Jade woke up, he'd let her know, but he hadn't done that either. He knew the minute Iris knew Jade was awake she'd be storming the compound to see her, and what Jade needed was time.

Jade agreed to wait till morning, looking almost relieved when he suggested they talk then. He knew she was anxious to know what was happening to her, but he could also tell she was scared.

He ordered her favorite take out, something she of course didn't remember, but ate happily. They ate together sitting on the bed, in a surprisingly peaceful silence. There was an undeniable tension in the air, Jade never truly relaxing, she watched him with a hint of uncertainty and stared longingly at Jamie. He offered to let her hold him again, but she refused a second time.

He hadn't realized how late it was until Jamie started fussing. A quick glance at the clock told him it was nearing ten p.m. and Jamie no doubt needed a diaper change, a bottle, and to be put to bed. He looked at Jade apologetically when Jamie started to _really_ cry, moving away from the bed to lift him into his arms.

"I'm sorry, he needs to be changed and is probably ready to eat and sleep," Bucky explained.

Jade looked torn, glancing between him and the baby. Her hands opening and closing reflexively. "Wh- Do you need help?" She asked in an unsure voice. "What can I do?"

Bucky wanted nothing more than to say yes, to have her help in changing Jamie, feeding him, and rocking him to sleep, but he knows she scared. The fear is still bright in her eyes, mixed with the uncertainty, and he doesn't want to overwhelm her. So instead he shook his head and smiled reassuringly at her.

"You rest, Sugar. I'm gonna take him to the room we've been sleeping in and get him to sleep as."

"You're not staying?" she looked panicked. "I...I thought…" she trailed off looking at their bed and back at him.

Bucky smiled sadly. He wanted nothing more than to share that bed with her and Jamie. To hold his family tight all night long, to truly have them back. But he doesn't want to overwhelm her, or have her woken up in the middle of the night by Jamie's cries.

"I want you to get your rest, Sugar. And this little guy doesn't like to sleep through the night," he added with a soft chuckle, looking down at Jamie. "I'll be right next door. You need me you holler and I'll be right in. I promise."

She looked disappointed and reluctant, but nodded nonetheless. "Okay."

"Tomorrow we'll get you out of this room. You can see Steve and everyone, and we'll talk like I promised. You'll be back to yourself in no time," he assured shifting Jamie in his arms.

She nodded again, wringing her hands. "Sure."

"There's towels in the bathroom and your clothes are in the closet if you want to shower and get more comfortable," he offered.

"Thank you."

He wanted to walk over to her, to hug her tight and kiss her, but he refrained only offering a smile and a nod. "Goodnight."

She smiled weakly. "Goodnight."

He stepped out of the room, which felt harder than it should have, and walked to the door right next to it. He wasn't surprised to find Steve sitting in the room reading, already waiting for them. Nor was he surprised by the bottle ready and waiting on the table beside the couch. He gave Steve a thankful look as he shut the door behind him.

"Okay buddy, it's alright, I've got you," Bucky shushed over Jamie's cries, gently placing him on the bed.

"How did it go?" Steve questioned looking up from his book. "Did she take it well?"

"As well as can be expected," Bucky answered.

Steve remained silent, eyebrow arched in expectation of Bucky continuing. He could see Bucky's shoulders were tense, something else had happened. Something that Bucky was reluctant to tell him.

"Jade remembered Jamie," Bucky blurted, making his way over to the bag of clothes for Jamie. He rifled through the bag until he found something that he hoped was pajamas.

Steve's face fell and then brightened. "She did? That's good...right?"

Bucky nodded absently, easing Jamie onto the bed and beginning to carefully unwrap him from the blanket and unbutton his onesie. "Yes, it's a good thing, but she also bent the faucet handle."

"Oh?" Steve replied in confusion. "She bent the-?"

"She bent the metal," Bucky continued in explanation, his voice tense and worried. He unsnapped the onesie with ease, but he'd learned that getting it off of Jamie was another story. "And she's pretty damn scared of herself. She didn't want to hold Jamie because she's afraid she'll hurt him."

Jamie wiggled and fussed as Bucky tried to pull the onesie from his body. "Okay pal, just give me a second here, work with me," Bucky spoke to his son feeling frustrated. He had to be gentle. The last thing that he wanted to do was hurt Jamie and with his metal arm and enhanced strength he knew he could snap Jamie's frail bones in half as easily as ripping wet paper.

"So Dimitri did do-."

Bucky nodded cutting Steve off, feeling irritated by his questioning. "Yes, he did something to her."

Jamie was past fussing and was at full crying now, his bent and stiff arms offering resistance to Bucky's attempt to pull his arm out. Bucky's teeth clenched and he forced a deep breath through his nose.

"Okay Jamie, it's alright," he said to the wailing infant in the calmest voice he could muster. "Just gotta get-."

"We should have Bruce run some tests," Steve interrupted over Jamie's cries.

Bucky nodded again and tried a different approach, going for the other arm instead. Jamie cried louder. Bucky sighed, teeth clenching harder with frustration.

"Here, let me," Steve offered rising from the couch and coming closer.

"I CAN DO IT," Bucky snapped, glaring at Steve over his shoulder.

Jamie startled, his crying ceasing for just a moment before resuming. Steve froze, his hands coming up on instinct as he stepped back. His face softened. "I'm just trying to help, Buck."

Bucky sighed, abandoning his attempt to undress his son, putting his head in his hands before running them through his hair. He was spiraling. Between the lack of sleep, trying to adjust to being a father with no time to prepare, the threat of Fury and worrying about just what the hell Dimitri had done to Jade, he felt like he was starting to split at the seams. The least he felt he could do was be a _good dad_ , Jamie deserved that much, especially when Jade wasn't herself, and he wasn't managing to do that. He'd been lying to himself, he wasn't managing.

"I'm sorry, Steve," he said, still a little too tensely. "I know you're just trying to help...it's been a long day."

Steve didn't say a word, only nodded in understanding and stepped back toward the couch to give him space. He sighed, turning back to Jamie and lifting him into his arms. To his satisfaction Jamie did quiet some once he was against his chest. He kissed the soft curls on his son's head and bounced him.

"Sorry pal, I didn't mean to scare you," he whispered to Jamie.

Steve was quiet for the next twenty minutes that it took to undress Jamie, change his diaper, and put him in pajamas. Bucky lifted his son into his arms again and turned to Steve.

"I got this tonight. You can go to bed."

Steve looked hesitant, looking between Bucky and the baby. "You sure?"

"Yes, I can handle it," Bucky insisted.

Steve said nothing, only looked at him with a mixture of worry and skepticism.

"I _need_ to handle it," he added. It was true. He'd have to figure this out on his own if he was going to be a father. Jamie needed him. Jade needed him. As much as he appreciated the help of his friends, he needed to know for himself that he could do this.

"I know you can. It's just that...you don't have to do it alone," he said with a small smile.

"I know, Steve. And I appreciate everything but…" he shook his head, hoping Steve understood.

Steve smiled weakly and offered him the bottle for Jamie. "I get it. Goodnight."

Bucky asked FRIDAY to dim the lights and settled onto the bed, giving the bottle to Jamie. He leaned back into the headboard, his son in the crook of his arm, his metal hand holding the bottle, blue eyes that matched his own staring up at him. He hummed the melody of an old song that came to him that he didn't know the words too, rocking his son gently as he did. He didn't think he would cease to be amazed at the way his heart swelled with emotion and love whenever he held Jamie. Jamie was a dream come true and he didn't want to ever forget that.

"I'm gonna figure this whole 'being a dad' thing out, Jamie," he promised in a whisper. "I know we didn't get off to a good start and everything is a mess, but I'm gonna fix it. I promise."

Bucky knew little about newborns but one thing he knew for certain was that they had little control of their movements. But in that moment Jamie's hand moved up, touching the metal of his pinky finger before his little hand wrapped around it tightly like a vice and held on. It felt like a sign. Bucky couldn't stop the grin that spread across his face.

* * *

Bucky's bed, felt too big and cold with just her in it. She'd showered as he had suggested, standing under the spray until the water ran cold, and dressed in the clothes she assumed were hers, which fit snugly, but comfortably. She'd crawled into the large bed after that, willing her mind to calm and rest.

As much as she wanted to trust Bucky, to believe that this was her home, these were her things, he was the love of her life, and the people in the building were her friends, she couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right. She didn't know if it was due to the fact that she couldn't remember, or if she truly didn't trust Bucky, or if it was that her body felt weird, off, foreign.

She found it hard to believe that she was in love with a man that had enemies. Enemies that were dangerous enough to kidnap her while pregnant and hold her hostage. And if the man that she saw in her memory of Jamie's birth had been her captor why had he looked at her so affectionately? Why would she allow him to hold her hand? Why would he cry at her son's birth?

There was more to the story, and Bucky had promised to tell her it all, in the morning when they'd gotten some rest. She'd been relieved that he wanted to wait because while she was eager to know the truth, to find out who she truly was and become herself again, she worried she wouldn't like what she found out. That she wouldn't like herself.

But as scared as she was she wanted her old life back. She wanted to know who she was and remember her love and life with Bucky. She wanted to hold her son. She wanted the waking nightmare she felt like she was in to end.

An hour of lying in the dimmed light passed, she managed to quiet her mind and fall into a fitful sleep. And she dreamed.

 _She sat in a chair in an old looking room with high ceilings and cement walls. There was a machine in front of her, a tortuous looking machine with a thick metal chair at its center. She could feel warm tears sliding down her face and her heart pounded in her chest. She looked to her left and then her right finding the room empty until she looked back to the machine and saw Bucky there._

 _He sat in the chair of the torture machine, dressed in a red Henley and dark jeans, his long hair framing his face. He looked in her direction, but not at her, with empty eyes, his teeth clenched, arms and legs restrained by metal clamps._

" _Bucky?" She breathed in confusion._

 _He didn't say anything just stared past her with a vacant look in his eye._

" _убей ее."_

 _A disembodied voice said in a thick accent. It was familiar but she couldn't put a face to it and when she looked around they were indeed alone. The words were spoken in Russian, a language she didn't think she should know, but translated easily._

 _ **Kill her**_ _._

 _The metal clamps released Bucky with a hiss and he was rising from the chair striding toward her in quick steps. She tensed in fear, trying to jump from the chair but her body wouldn't move. She was barely able to get a scream out before his metal hand was wrapping around her throat yanking her to her feet. She was slammed onto the ground, the scream dying in her throat. She clawed at his hand, kicking and thrashing, his hold remained strong._

 _She couldn't breathe, she gasped and choked, still fighting. All the while he stared down at her, his face blank, his eyes vacant._

"Jade!"

Her eyes snapped open, her hazy brain struggling between reality and the dream, or was it a memory? The feeling of his hand on her throat lingered and her mouth was open in a scream. Bucky was at her side, his hands gripping her arms, he was shaking her firmly, but gently, in an attempt to wake her. His eyes were filled with panicked fear, but his face was all concern.

Her mind was still in panic mode, the dream or memory, too fresh in her mind. Fear rushed through her and her heart raced, she felt the energy inside of her flare, the one that had every cell inside of her buzzing, pulsing harder until she felt like she was vibrating with power. She had no time to fight it, no time to make her brain think rationally. She looked at Bucky and her mind screamed ' _threat!_ '.

"Don't touch me!" She shouted yanking her arms from his grasp.

There was another overwhelming spike inside of her, and it burst, aimed right at Bucky, sending him flying away from her. He collided with the wall nearest to the bedroom door, leaving a Bucky shaped dent in the drywall, hitting the floor hard enough to have the thud echoing in the room.

"Hoooooly shit."

She froze, her eyes whipping to the door to see two men she didn't know standing there. One of them was tall, muscular, and blonde. He was holding Jamie in his arms. The second was shorter, not that muscular with dark hair and goatee. It had been the dark haired man with the goatee who had spoken, he was staring at her with stunned eyes just like the man at his side.

She didn't know what to do, her heart still racing, panting and wide eyed she looked down at her hands then at Bucky who was slowly recovering with help from the blonde. His blue eyes found hers and her stomach wrenched to see them filled with an unmistakable hint of fear.


	24. Control

The medical ward had an observation room within a room that was three walls with a front wall made of plexiglass that allowed you to see in. Inside was empty save for a single twin sized bed and a small square table with a chair. There was a slim walking space between the plexiglass wall and the outer wall that could fit a chair. The door leading to the room within a room was made of heavy metal with a slot for food and other items to pass through.

All the walls were reinforced and supposedly impenetrable, if the engineers had been correct.

Tony had the room made as a "just in case".

It was at one point meant for Bruce, should he have an 'episode'.

And it was where they took Jade immediately following the incident.

She had practically begged them too, teary eyed, refusing to let anyone come near her, stating repeatedly she was dangerous.

Bucky had adamantly refused it, even as he stood with an ice pack to his neck, arguing that she hadn't meant to hurt him, that he was fine minus an aching head and back.

But Tony had made an executive decision and to his dismay Steve and the rest of the team had agreed.

"Think about Jamie," Steve had offered. "What if you had been holding Jamie?"

That question had made his stomach sink, he knew that Jade hadn't meant to do it, but Steve was right. Until they knew exactly what was going on with her, she was a danger to them. She was a danger to their son.

Bucky had seethed, watching Tony lead Jade to the medical ward, his stomach twisting. He'd wanted to follow, but she'd asked him not to, shaking her head when he'd tried to touch her and moving out of his grasp. She walked silently, hugging herself, with her head down.

"It's going to be fine, Jade. Everything is going to be fine," he called after her.

She hadn't looked up, just hugged herself tighter and followed Tony.

"This is temporary, until we figure out what is going on," Steve insisted, putting a hand on his shoulder. "Just so that she doesn't hurt anyone or herself. I'll go with her to make sure she's alright," he added walking off after Tony.

He'd waited until they were out of sight and then peeked into his room to see that Natasha was still inside, cradling Jamie in her arms. Once he was sure that Jamie was safe and sound he made a beeline for the elevator, stepping inside and pressing the button repeatedly.

He took the elevator to the lowest floor, stepping off and immediately being greeted by the two guards that stood outside the vault door. The large and heavy vault door was open, but the barred inner door was still closed. He could see Dimitri sitting inside, leaned against the far wall, heavy metal cuffs shackled to his hands and feet, the shackles were attached to a short chain that had been welded onto the metal wall. They didn't know what Dimitri was truly capable of, aside from his miraculous healing, and Stark had wanted to take no chances on him escaping. His arms were resting on bent knees, he looked eerily peaceful. The prisoner perked when he saw Bucky, a wide and all too cocky grin spreading across his face.

Realistically with Dimitri chained to a wall and locked inside the vault, guards wouldn't be needed, but given that they didn't know what exactly Dimitri could do, they took the extra precautions. The vault was meant to be a temporary prison until they could figure out if they were going to hand Dimitri over or not, or until Stark designed and built a better holding cell.

It was an after thought to Bucky, now that he knew of the other room that Tony already had, the one that Jade was currently being placed in, that Tony had purposefully left it empty. As if he were waiting for something to happen to Jade. He'd intended to lock her up all along. Bucky temporarily pushed that to the back of his mind.

"Sergeant Barnes," Tim, one of the guards said, suddenly standing straighter, they'd both been casually leaned against the wall on opposite sides of the vault door chatting.

Bucky skipped the formalities. "Leave."

Tim shared a glance with his partner, Jacob, and swallowed. "Mr. Stark said that we are not to leave you alone with the-."

Bucky frowned. "Excuse me?"

"I-It's just that- Stark said you shouldn't be here unsupervised with the-."

"Leave," Bucky repeated through clenched teeth.

They shared another wary glance. "But-."

"I won't say it again," Bucky crossed his arms.

Neither soldier argued this time, though another glance was shared, they moved past Bucky to the elevator. Bucky didn't move until he heard the elevator doors close with a ding.

Taking the guards discarded keys from the table nearby he unlocked the barred door, pushing it open, but choosing to stand outside of the vault.

He didn't trust himself.

Dimitri hadn't moved. The smug smirk remained. "Я знал, что это был только вопрос времени-."

Bucky cut him off, crossing his arms across his broad chest. "What did you do to Jade?"

Dimitri chuckled, shifting on the floor, chains rattling as he positioned himself. "что бы ты ни имел ввиду-?"

"English," Bucky snapped through clenched teeth. "And I am in no mood for your games. You tell me what you did to her, now."

"I've already told you," Dimitri's smirk widened into a full grin. "She's no longer yours."

Bucky bristled, took a deep breath to keep himself composed and glared. "What. Did. You. Do. To. Her?"

"Did she remember you?" Dimitri questioned with a curious tilt of his head.

Bucky chose not to answer.

"Does she still _trust_ you?" He continued in a taunting tone. "Does she still _love_ you?"

Bucky's fist clenched.

Dimitri laughed softly, exhaling as he leaned his head back against the wall. "She didn't, did she? She doesn't know who you are, isn't that right актив?"

"I'm not asking again," Bucky growled.

Dimitri was unphased and unimpressed by his vague threat. The smirk slid off of his face, being replaced with a cold stare. "What has been done to her cannot be undone. She is mine."

Bucky stepped into the vault, feeling an unbridled rage that filled him to the brim. Dimitri leapt to his feet, chains rattling, pressing himself back into the metal wall behind him. He held his hands up defensively.

"You wouldn't harm a shackled prisoner would you, актив?" Dimitri questioned, eyes darting to the corner of the room.

Bucky's eyes followed, taking in the camera up in the corner of the room, red light blinking. He was being recorded.

"You think I care about those cameras?" Bucky seethed. "Give me one reason why I shouldn't just rip you apart right here and now? If you aren't going to tell me what you did to Jade then I have no use for you."

Dimitri weighed his options with a tilt of his head. "You'd kill me in cold blood?"

"You deserve worse. And no one knows you are alive."

"That's what you think," Dimitri grinned.

"My patience is running thin," he warned.

"If you want to know what I did to Jade, then you will have to bring Jade to me. I will only tell Jade what I have done to her."

Bucky huffed. "You are out of your mind if you think that I am going to let her anywhere near her."

"Then you will never know," Dimitri answered with a shrug, clasping his hands together and sinking back to his seated position on the floor. "And I will bide my time. Hydra will come for me eventually." His face fell into a cold sneer as he added, "they will come for _her_ eventually."

Bucky's teeth clenched. Enough was enough. He would get answers out of him one way or the other. He flexed his fists, hearing his metal arm whir in response and stepped toward Dimitri.

"Bucky."

He froze at the sound of Steve's voice behind him, letting out a heavy sigh. Steve and Tony were stepping out of the elevator.

"What are you doing down here, Barnes?" Stark questioned.

"Trying to get some answers so that we can help Jade," he answered.

"Threatening a shackled prisoner actually," Dimitri chimed in.

"Quiet," Bucky snapped at him.

"Look I know that I told Fury that he was dead, but I am still on the side of doing the right thing," Steve said. "Eventually we should turn him over to SHIELD or the proper authorities."

Tony nodded in agreement. "I'm with Capsicle here. We bought some time with Fury, but we aren't killing this man. Not under my watch."

Bucky still was not a fan of that idea, but he'd argue that later. "Look, the only way we can help Jade is if she gets her memory back, and that doesn't seem to be happening any time soon, or he tells us exactly what he did to her. And to do that I need him to actually talk."

"Please don't tell me you are considering torturing this man," Tony sighed with an exasperated look.

"We need answers."

"We are the Avengers, not the Torturers. That is not our area of expertise."

Steve hesitated. "Well it was once Bucky's."

"And here I thought we were both on the same side of doing the right thing," Tony quipped with a betrayed look at Steve.

"I don't want the man to die, I believe in the justice system, but getting him to talk is another thing. Bucky is right, we need answers. Fury is going to come calling soon and if he finds out that they did something to Jade, that she could potentially be a danger to the people…," Steve trailed off shaking his head.

Tony sighed again, shaking his head before running his hand over his face. "Has he been willing to talk at all?"

"He said he'd talk...if he could speak to Jade," Bucky answered honestly.

Tony's face brightened. "See. There we go, a non torture option."

Bucky was already shaking his head, but Steve spoke.

"Do you really think letting her near him is a good idea?"

"I'm all for all of the ideas that don't involve the Avengers torturing a man. Who knows, it could jog her memory."

Bucky crossed his arms over his chest. "No. We aren't letting him anywhere near her."

Tony cocked an eyebrow. "Have we asked Jade? Perhaps she should have a say in the matter considering its about her."

"She wouldn't understand how dangerous he is and as you have seen, she is fragile. The last thing we need is him getting into her head," Bucky reasoned.

Tony's response was interrupted by FRIDAY speaking above. "Sergeant Barnes, Natasha is asking that you return to the living quarters."

"Jamie must need something," Bucky sighed, he stepped onto the elevator, turning back to Tony. "We aren't letting her talk to him. It's too dangerous. Why don't you guys try talking to him."

He pressed the button to go up, leaving the two men behind.

* * *

It'd been six days since Nick Fury had liberated Anton from the compound.

Fury was less than pleased with him, and questioned him extensively, repeatedly. Anton told him the story that Tony, Steve and Bucky told him too. One the four of them carefully elaborated to explain why he and Jade and Jamie had ended up in the Avengers care.

It was not entirely the truth, but it kept Jade and Jamie safe.

Somehow, he still was employed at the end of Fury's rants and questioning.

He was surprised to hear that he'd continue to be Jade's bodyguard, and by Jamie's, and that they were still technically married. Fury wanted him to be his eyes and ears at the compound. He never would have thought that Bucky would allow him anywhere near the compound, or Jade or Jamie, again.

The excitement that he felt at being able to return, to see Jade and Jamie again, to know that they both were alright, kept him up the night before.

He arrived at the compound early the next morning, heart pounding and stomach turning. He was issued a new badge and let in without any issues, taking the elevator up to the living quarters.

He didn't expect a warm welcome given that Bucky knew about his feelings for Jade and that he had helped and been involved in her kidnapping; but he didn't much care about Bucky's opinion. He never had. It had always been about Jade and now it was about Jamie too.

The elevator doors opened, the sound of an infant, _Jamie_ , crying meeting his ears. Old instincts kicking in, the crying somehow feeling like music to his ears, had him rushing off the elevator, stopping in the common room. Natasha was there, bouncing and shushing Jamie against her shoulder, who was not responding to any of it. The redhead met his gaze when he approached, frowning.

"Didn't expect Fury to send you back so soon," she commented over the cries, she shrugged with an afterthought. "Although, honestly I am not surprised."

Anton nodded, ignoring her comments and looking right at Jamie. "Is he alright?"

Natasha sighed and shifted Jamie to her other shoulder, he only cried louder. "I have no idea. Bucky is somewhere-."

"Can I?" Anton interrupted, arms out for the baby as he stepped closer.

Natasha hesitated, just for a moment, glancing between his open palms and Jamie, but relented. She stepped toward him and placed the shrieking baby into his hands. Anton pulled him closer, putting him right to his chest and leaning down to breathe in his smell. He'd be lying if he said he hadn't missed Jamie's new baby smell, if he hadn't laid in bed at night worrying about him and Jade, if he said he didn't feel a profound relief to have Jamie in his arms again.

"Hey little guy, it's alright," he whispered bouncing and pacing just the way he remembered Jamie liked. "It's okay. You're okay."

Jamie quieted at the sound of his voice, his shrieks turning to whiny coos before stopping entirely. Anton sighed, feeling a smugness to know that he could still calm the baby down. Jamie's tiny hands opened and closed reflexively against his shirt, closing around the material and holding tightly.

"There we go, see everything is fine," Anton continued, feeling a smile grace his face. "I missed you."

" _What the hell is he doing here?_ "

Anton froze at the sound of Bucky's voice dripping with anger, turning to see him stepping from the elevator.

"Sergeant Barnes," he greeted with a nod. "Fury sent me, didn't he tell-."

Bucky scowled. "Yes, he told us. Why are you holding my son?"

Natasha spoke up then. "Jamie was really upset and I couldn't calm him down, luckily Anton came to my rescue," she smiled widely at Bucky and spoke through clenched teeth. "Remember we need Fury's mole on our side, so be nice."

Bucky's scowl deepened. He didn't say a word, only walked to Anton with his arms out, silently demanding his child back. Anton reluctantly handed him over, glad that he got to hold Jamie at all, even if it were for just a few moments. Jamie fussed momentarily, but settled once he was cradled in his father's arms.

Bucky decided to go against his better judgement and let Anton know what was going on. "I know that Fury sent you here to be his eyes and ears, but what you don't know is that Dimitri did _something_ to Jade while he had her," Anton's face fell at that, his shoulders tensed. Bucky chose to ignore that reaction. "And if Fury finds that out he will take Jade away and most likely our son as well and given that I know how you feel about her," Antons eye's widened and a blush touched the tops of his ears. Bucky ignored that too. "I'm hoping that you will help us prevent that."

Anton cleared his throat. "I don't want anything to happen to Jade or Jamie."

"Good," Bucky answered definitively. "Then if Fury asks, Jade is still recovering but she is _fine._ "

"Okay," Anton nodded. "But...where is she? And what's really wrong with her?"

Bucky and Natasha shared a glance. "She's in a locked observation room in the medical ward."

Anton frowned. "You let them lock her up?"

"It was for her own safety," Natasha chimed in when she saw Bucky's scowl. "She threw Bucky across the room with her mind this morning."

"She what?"

"Dimitri did something to her," Bucky continued. "He's changed her."

"What did she say that he did?"

"She doesn't remember. She doesn't remember anything. Dimitri wiped her memories before we could get to her. It's what Hydra does. It's how they keep you under their control."

Anton's face scrunched in thought. "And he of course won't tell you what he's done to her?"

"Not unless he speaks to her himself and I am not letting that happen."

"So we need Jade to remember on her own. Like you did before," Anton said eyes brightening with an idea. "How did you remember?"

"Steve took me to Wakanda to get rid of the hydra programming-."

"No, not then, after that," Anton cut in. "After you met Jade she told me you spent a year not remembering her, then you got your memories back. How?"

Bucky straightened, internally kicking himself for not thinking of it himself. "Dr. Lewis. Our therapist. He hypnotized me. He can do the same to Jade."

* * *

The room she sat in was essentially a prison.

But atleast with her in there everyone else was safe.

She felt terrible about what she'd done to Bucky. She didn't trust herself not to harm anyone else, nor did she trust herself around Jamie.

Being locked up was better.

Safer.

The men, Steve and Tony they introduced themselves as, had been kind. Though Tony watched her with a good amount of fear in his eyes. They'd made sure she was as comfortable as she could be, promising to bring more of her things, that she wouldn't be isolated.

That this was _temporary._

And then they'd left.

She leaned back against the wall and hugged her knees to her chest, closing her eyes, unable to keep herself from thinking back to the dream. It'd been so vivid that she wondered if it was a memory, and if it was, why on earth would Bucky do that to her? What was the machine that he was sitting in? Who did the voice belong to?

She trusted Bucky, or at least she _wanted_ to trust Bucky. She wanted to believe everything he had told her, which hadn't been much in the grand scheme of things, up to that point.

But something didn't feel right.

A soft tapping on the glass alerted her that someone had come in. She looked up to see a middle aged man with dark wild curls standing on the other side of the glass, a large tray in one hand and a gentle smile on his face.

"Hi Jade, my name is Bruce," he said. "I know you don't remember me but I promise you that we are old friends and I am not here to harm you."

She nodded in answer, not finding anything about him threatening. Least of all his kind gentle smile.

"Are you hungry? I brought you a sandwich and some water," he said, setting down the tray on the chair allowing her to see that in addition to the sandwich sitting on a plate and cold water bottle, there were medical supplies on it.

Her stomach rumbled in answer for her, he walked over to the metal door, unlatching the slot and passing the plate and water bottle through easily. She took both and nodded her thanks to him. He picked up the tray and sat down in the chair, watching her sit at the small table and enjoy her sandwich. She felt very much like she was being observed, studied, like an animal at the zoo, but said nothing.

He didn't speak again till she was nearly finished with her sandwich. "I'm a doctor. And if it's okay with you, I'd like to take a blood sample and run some tests. I'm hoping that by doing so we can figure out what's happening to you. Would that be alright?"

She hesitated, worried that if he entered he could be harmed.

"I don't have to come in," he offered, guessing her worries. "Your arm should fit through the slot. Would that be okay?"

She looked to the heavy metallic door and then back to him, before nodding again. She slowly slid out of the chair, walking to the door, watching him gather his supplies and don gloves. She heard him disengage the lock on the slot again and peeked through to see him hold out a gloved hand. Slipping her arm through the slot, she tensed when he gently took her hold hand and held it.

"I know you're scared, but just try and relax," he said, his voice calming and soothing. "Controlled and steady breathing really helps me stay in control."

"Control?" She finally spoke.

"I have an…anger issue…" he explained placing a tourniquet on her upper arm. "When I get angry, bad things happen. So I have to stay calm and in control."

"Bad things? Bad things like what?" She questioned leaning against the door.

"I feel like if I tell you, you wouldn't believe me," he chuckled, wiping her inner elbow with an alcohol pad.

"I threw the father of my child across the room with my mind," she huffed. "I feel like I can believe anything at this point."

"Well in that case, when I get angry I turn into a giant green monster and destroy things," he answered. "You're gonna feel a little pinch. Remember to breathe."

She flinched at the sharp poke, feeling the energy within her spike at the pain. She sucked in a deep breath and shut her eyes, willing her body to calm. After a few seconds it did, the energy slowly receding to its usual buzzing level she always felt.

"Giant green monster?" She said incredulously, looking through the slot to see her blood filling the tube.

He pulled the tourniquet off her arm. "Yeah. Sounds crazy I know. But this room was actually meant for me."

She didn't know how she felt about that. They thought she was as dangerous as a man who turned into a giant green monster.

"Gonna hold some pressure on this," he warned.

She flinched again when he applied a cotton ball to the punctured vein and released her arm. "So you must be pretty good at staying calm if they trust you to be here."

"Yes. Took me a long time, but I've learned to keep my cool and stay controlled," he leaned down, his brown eyes peering at her through the slot. "When you did what you did to Bucky...did you feel out of control?"

"I've felt out of control since I woke up," she admitted. "I don't know who I am. I don't remember the man I love, my life, my family, my friends…" she sighed. "I can't even hold my son because there's something inside of me. It's..buzzing just under the surface. And it feels dangerous and scary and like if I slip up just once it will take me over."

Bruce nodded, smiling sadly. "I think out of anyone here I can understand that the most."

Her eyes suddenly felt watery and she wiped at them with her free hand. "I don't want to hurt anyone. I don't want to lose control. What I did to Bucky, I didn't mean-."

"Jade, it's alright. We all understand that," Bruce cut in, looking slightly alarmed. "Don't cry. If my guess is correct, whatever is happening to you is tied to your emotions. Your fear. Staying calm will help."

She nodded at him and wiped at her eyes again. "Sorry."

"You don't have to be sorry. I have some tricks that I would be happy to share with you," he applied a band aid to the puncture and released her arm. "To help you stay calm."

"I'd appreciate that," she answered with a small smile. She moved away from the metal door, able to see Bruce placing the sample of her blood on the tray and removing his gloves.

"My colleague, Dr. Cho, and I are going to run tests on this. I'll let you know whatever we find of course. I'll come back later and we can talk more."

"If you find out what they did, can you fix me?" She asked hopefully.

His sad smile returned. "I can't promise that. But what I can promise is that we're going to figure this out."

She nodded again, sitting down on the bed, feeling her stomach sink when he offered a wave and left. She was alone, again.


End file.
